


Whose Choice is it, Anyways?

by thelordvoldemort



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 13:06:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 42,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1859112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelordvoldemort/pseuds/thelordvoldemort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first, everyone questions if the world around them is a dream or reality. But what happens when everyone around you starts questioning if you're a dream or reality. Rewrite of "Amy's Choice," except Rose Tyler is added to the mix.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not Just My Life

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or its characters. I may have borrowed some or basically almost all or literally, practically, just about, all quotes from "Amy's Choice" (and no I did not steal them because if the Doctor can say that he borrowed the TARDIS rather than steal it, then I can say the same about the episode's transcript.) Maybe this was a dumb idea. Oh well. GERONIMO!

Standing in her kitchen, mixing a bowl of cake batter, Amelia Williams, no, Pond, Amelia Pond hummed contently to herself as she snuck a few licks of her unprepared treats. She was living a good life, Amy Pond. Amy and her husband, Rory Williams, no, Rory Pond were a happily married couple of nearly five years, living in Leadworth, a quiet town with quiet old people and quiet little lives. Except today.

 

"RORY!" Doubling over in pain, one hand under her pregnant stomach, the other on a nearby table to steady herself, Amy cried out in pain for her husband.

Today, like most every day, Rory was riding his bike home from his hospital shift. Gently gliding over the mixed surfaces of pavement, grass, and cobblestone walkway, he came to an abrupt stop, tossing his bike to quickly rush to his wife's aid as she called out to him once more.

"RORY! It's starting!"

Upon hearing Amy's sobs, he bounded towards their front door, colliding face first into a stalk of flowers hanging from the doorway. Stumbling, he pushed on the walls for support and straightens himself out, continuing his dash back into his home without care of brushing himself off.

"Okay, okay, I'm here," Rory exclaimed, dropping on his knees in front of his suddenly much less frantic wife.

"False alarm," Amy said calmly as she licked more cake batter off her spoon.

Looking down at the big bowl atop Amy's big bumped stomach, then back up to his wife, Rory let out a breathy, "What?" in response.

"Well," Amy started to reason, moving her tongue around to push the sticky batter off the roof of her mouth so she could properly swallow and attempt to get clear words out, "I don't know what it feels like. I've never had a baby before." Before Rory could respond, Amy shoved the end of the spoon into her husband's already opened mouth.

He moaned in appreciation, and Amy moaned back her agreeing response as Rory stood to take a treat from the counter.

Still sitting with the bowl on her bump, Amy quickly clutched it and moved to stand herself up letting out a soft, disbelieving, "No" as she heard what she thought was the sound of the TARDIS engines.

 

"I know. Leaf blowers. Use a rake!"

 

Amy quickly put the bowl of cake batter down on the table with a thud. "No, it's.." And then there it is again, the most beautiful sound in all of the universe.  
Looking out the window, Amy and Rory watch as the TARDIS materialized in their backyard.

"I knew. I just knew."

_

"And here we are, the Pond's!" The Doctor exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in excitement before clapping them together.

"I thought we were going to meet Marilyn Monroe?"

"We were. But then I missed our friends."

"You made a mistake, didn't you?" She waited for the Doctor to respond, but he didn't, so she continued, "Five quid, you've landed in their garden.. Again." Rose said, deadpan, eyebrows raised in amusement as a smirk began to grow."

"Rose Tyler-"

"Ten quid."

"Ten quid, it is. But trust me, Rose Tyler, I'm not as bad a driver as you think." And so, the Doctor made his way confidently down the ramp of the TARDIS, Rose hot on hie heels.

He opened the door with a confident smile, and stopped in the threshold, looking down. His smile dropped entirely, turning into a mix of a grimace, pout, and frown. Reaching into one of his pockets, he fished around for a few moments until he pulled out ten quid, extending his arm over his shoulder as Rose giggled and took her well earned prize.

"Shut up."

"No idea what you're on about," Rose sing-songed, giving the Doctor's back a cat-who-got-the-canary grin as she followed him out of the TARDIS.

The Doctor began to trip over a loose brick, but Rose grabbed his shoulder and he continued to make his way down to the grass safely. Not letting go of the Doctor's shoulder, Rose jumped over the flower bed and landed beside the Doctor who put his arm around her waist to support her from falling.

And then she looked up towards the little home.

"Rory!" Rose called out to her friend as he jogged out from his house.

"Rose! Doctor!" Rory opened his arms, ready to give his friends hugs.

"The Doctor's cut your flowers," Rose pointed behind her with her free hand.

Rory lowered his arms, stopping mid stride to examine the damage.

"Oh. Amy will kill you," he sighed, titling his head to the side as his face dropped.

 

Guiding Rose along by the hip, the Doctor walked them up to Rory, bending down slightly to make eye contact with their friend.

"Where is she?"

"She'll need a bit longer," Rory explained without further explaination, thrusting his thumb back over his shoulder, then turning to look towards the door he indicated to.

"Whenever you're ready, Amy!" the Doctor called out.

 

"Oh, I see you've started training him," Rory mused with a smirk at Rose. Rory hasdknown the Doctor to be quite a prat the first few relative meetings of time they had, but once he got his infamous Rose Tyler back, his hard exterior came to steadily soften over time.

 

"Oi!" the Doctor glared at Rory, as Rose winked.

 

Upon hearing footsteps that the Doctor presumed were Amy's, he looked toward the front door, to be proven right.

 

"OHHHH!" The Doctor exclaimed excitedly, as he used the arm not wrapped around Rose to point at his now very large friend.

 

Rose noticed that Rory swung his arms towards his wife in a gesture of motioning to her appearance. A small smile playsedsoftly on her face, thinking about the sweetness and sincerity of the gesture.

 

"HEEEEY!" Amy replieed loudly, holding out her arms in preparation for hugs.

 

"You've swallowed a planet!" the Doctor breathed out, almost horrified, if not a bit impressed.

"Rude," Rose shushed, smacking the Doctor's chest a little harder than she had intended. Upon seeing the Doctor's hurt expression, she rubbed the spot soothingly in silent apology.

 

"I'm pregnant," Amy explained, walking closer to the Doctor as he, in turn, lets go of Rose and walks towards Amy, his eyes trained on her stomach.

 

"You're huge!"

 

"Rude," Rose coughed, causing Rory to chuckle quietly.

 

"Yeah, I'm pregnant," Amy said again as the Doctor reached out to place his hands on both sides of her stomach.

 

"Look at you," the Doctor began, pulls his hands and eyes away from Amy's stomach to look back and forth between her and her husband. "When worlds collide.."

 

"No, I'm pregnant," Amy tried to explain for the third time, looking to Rose for some help, some understanding, something.

 

"I'll beat him up later, don't worry," Rose grinned, then settles for a soft smile. "That's really so wonderful, though! Congratulations, really, both of you," she says softly, looking between Amy and Rory, swooping in to embrace them both separately with hugs as they said their thanks.

 

"Oh, look at you both! Five years later and you haven't changed a bit, apart from aging.." The Doctor trails over, giving Amy a hug and pointing to Rory, or more specifically, his ponytail. Rose would've chastised him for being rude, but seeing that Rory's smile hadn't faulted, she figured she'd leave them be.

 

"Oh, it's good to see you. Both of you."

 

The group stood quietly for a few moments, until the Doctor looked Amy- who was holding her stomach once more- up and down. "Are you pregnant?"

Rose rolled her eyes as Rory's mouth fell open. Amy just shook her head as she turned from the Doctor's arms to walk back inside the house.  
The Doctor give a pat to Rory's cheek then shoulder before trailing after Amy.  
_

 

"Ah, Leadworth," the Doctor sighed, walking down an empty street between Rose and Amy, with Rory next to Rose. "Vibrant as ever."

 

"It's upper Leadworth, actually," Rory began to explain, "We've gone slightly up market."

 

"Where is everyone?" asked the Doctor, as the group of four rounded a corner.

 

"This is busy," Amy puffed out. If she thought trying to keep up with the Doctor's pace was difficult before pregnancy...

 

The Doctor gave her one of his infamous just-dribbled-on-your-shirt looks, then shook his head as he looked around the dull street.

 

"It's quiet.. Like, really quiet," Rose observed, furrowing her brows. It was mid afternoon, normally people should have be out and about.

 

"Okay, yeah, but it's really restful and it's healthy," Amy said. "Lots of people around here live well into their nineties."

 

"Well, don't let that get you down," encouraged the Doctor. He took Rose's hand to pull her along to sit next to him on a bench. Amy and Rory follow their lead, sitting down along with them. The bench was big enough to hold them all, but it is a bit snug.

 

"It's not getting me down!" Amy responded, almost defensively.

"Well, we wanted to see how you were, you know me, I don't just abandon people when they leave the Tardis." The Doctor crossed his arms and looked at Amy, trying to get her to change the subject.

 

Something about that statement didn't sit right in Rose's stomach, so she took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she looked about the street hoping the Doctor would only think her in deep thought of observing their surroundings. And it worked.

 

"This Time Lord's polite, don't laugh Rose I can feel a laugh coming on and I'm telling you now, no. I brought you tea in bed this morning, so yes, I am very polite. Tell our friends how polite I am."

 

Rose, grateful for the distraction, looked the Doctor up and down, biting her lip as she contemplated him for a moment. "Mmm. I'd say you're alright." She gave him her signature smile she reserved just for him, with her tongue poking out between her teeth.

 

"Oi!" He pouted at her for a moment before smiling with his own signature smile reserved just for her, only to then turn his attention back to Amy. "You don't get rid of your old pal, the Doctor, so easily."

 

"Hmm. You came here by mistake, didn't you?" Amy asked, already certain of the answer.

 

Rose pressed her lips tightly together to hold back a laugh.

"Yeah, a bit of a mistake," the Doctor admitted, refusing to make eye contact with anyone on the bench. "But look, what a result. Look at this… bench," he went on, awkwardly, crossing his legs and gesturing at said bench. "What a nice bench. What will they think of next?" the Doctor finishes lamely, taking a deep breath as he tried to sit still for a few quiet moments.

 

Looking to one side at Amy, and to the other side past Rose at Rory, he askd, "So… What do you do around here to stave off the, you know, self-harm-"

 

"Boredom?" Amy cut in.

 

Rose smacked the Doctor in the chest, giving him a warning look with her eyebrows raised. She mouthed the word, 'rude.' Yet again, the Doctor pouted in response. Sighing, Rose lifted her hand off his chest and smoothed out one of his thin eyebrows, trying to calm and reassure him. His face softened a little, but not entirely.

"We relax," Rory offered as Rose withdrew her hand back to her lap.

The Doctor raised his eyebrows, looking back and forth between Rose and Amy.

 

"We live," Rory went on with a sigh.

"We listen to the birds," he said, just after hearing a few birds chirping, from somewhere overhead.

 

"Yeah, see? Birds," Amy said in support of her husband and in defense of herself. But her voice dropped off, almost to a whisper at the end, "Those are nice."

 

Rory added on, "We didn't get a lot of time to listen to bird songs back in the TARDIS days, did we?"

"I had to learn about bird calls when I was in school for a field biology class. Don't really remember much, other than that I hated it. Drove me and my mate Shireen mad, it did," Rose quietly mused with a thoughtful look directed nowhere specific.

 

"Oh, blimey!" The Doctor burst out suddenly, resting a hand on his forehead, and closing his eyes before he was able to see that Rose began to clutch her own head in bother her hands at the same time as he did. "My head's a bit… ooh." He began swaying his head around, but kept his eyes closed. "No, you're wasn't a lot of time for bird song back in the day-" He finally opened his eyes but still neglected to notice Rose, as his own vision was blurring in and out of focus until finally, they shut again. As did Rory's and Amy's, and Rose lowered her arms as all four of them dozed off to sleep.  
_

 

"Days," the Doctor said as he continued his last spoken sentence. But upon opening his eyes, he realized he must've dozed off. "What? No. Yes. Sorry. What? Oh!" He exclaimed as he rolled about the floor of the TARDIS until he was able to pull himself into a standing position.

 

Looking up towards the console, he spotted Amy and Rory walking in.

 

"Oh! You're okay! Oh, thank god, I had a terrible dream or wonderful nightmare or something or other about.." He took a deep breath before continuing his train of thought. "Don't ask. You don't want to know. Safe now," he rushed over and hugged Amy to reassure himself that they were, in fact here and safe. Then he pulled back from Amy, and snapped at Rory, pointing at him and smiling before turning back to the console. "That's what counts."

 

He took another deep breath. "Blimey, never dropped off like that before. Well, never really… I'm getting on a bit, you see. Don't let the cool air fool you. Now what's wrong with the console?"

 

While letting his gob ramble on, the Doctor failed to notice Rory watching as Amy kept placing her hands on her flat stomach. He also failed to notice Amy looking at the back of Rory's neck.

 

The Doctor walked around the console until he finally did notice something. "Red flashing lights.. I bet they mean something." And with that, he dropped down on one knee to exam underneath the console.

 

"Doctor, I also had a kind of dream thing," Rory said, somewhat nervously and with some hesitation.

 

"Yeah, so did I," Amy offered, starting to feel more nervous than her previous uncomfortable and confused state.

 

Immediately Rory turned to Amy. "Not a nightmare, though. Just, um," he rocked on his heels, holding his hands behind his back as he smiled hopefully. "… We were married."

 

Amy just nodded her head, trying to wrap her mind around what had all just happened. "Yeah, in a little village."

 

At that, the Doctor immediately jumped straight up.

 

"A sweet little village and you were pregnant," Rory continued, wistfully.

 

"Yes, I was huge! I was a boat."

 

"So you had the same dream, then?" Rory asked, confused and a little scared.

 

The Doctor tugged at the hood of Rory's jacket to look at his hair that was far to short to put into a ponytail, but he either didn't notice or at this point was this entirely used to the Doctor's weird antics and need to touch everyone and everything. "Exactly the same dream."

 

Offended, Amy stepped forward and stared down Rory, "Are you calling me a boat?"

 

Not sure how to answer, and not wanting to get a slap from Amy, Rory turned his attention to the Doctor. "Doctor, you were visiting."

 

"Yeah, yeah, you came to our cottage," Amy supplied, newly refocused, as the Doctor pulled aside her jacket to look at her stomach.

 

"How can we have had the exact same dream?" Rory asked, standing closer to Amy as the Doctor let go of her jacket. "It doesn't make any sense."

 

"And you had a nightmare," Amy said slowly. "Or a dream. About us. What happened to us in the nightmare, or dream, or whatever?"

 

"It was a bit similar in some aspects," The Doctor let out quickly in one breath.

 

"Which aspects?" Rory retorted.

 

"Well, basically all of them," The Doctor said, even quicker, refusing to mention or even think about Rose.

 

"You had the same dream?"

 

"Basically."

 

"You said it was a terrible dream or a wonderful nightmare." Rory wanted, practically needed to hear the Doctor's response.

 

"Did I? No, no, more of a, uh… Look it doesn't matter what we call it. We all had some kind of psychic episode. We probably just jumped a time tack or something. Forget it!" the Doctor practically yelled the past part, turning to quickly brush off the subject and thought of Rose. She was probably only part of his dream as part of his own subconscious, anyways. Almost always was. There was no way his companions could have had her in their dreams. "We're back to reality now."

"But Doctor, there was someone else in the dream, too." The Doctor froze at Rory's words.

 

"Yeah, who was she, Doctor? You seemed like you knew her well enough?" 

 

Taking a deep breath, the Doctor closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and pretending to focus on the console as if held the answer to the universe. "Well, if she was in your dreams, too, then think. Should register something." He flipped a switch, trying to act nonchalant, but his feelings got the best of him and he flipped the switch a little too roughly.

 

"Doctor, just tell us," Amy pleaded.

 

The Doctor stood still for a moment, not breathing, not thinking, just being. He opened his mouth, unsure where to even start, until someone answered for him.

 

"Rose Tyler."

 

Turning slowly with disbelief, he hearts stopped for a single beat as his eyes met with his lost pink and yellow human.

 

Even with all the blood rushing and pounding in his ears, the Doctor heard the birds.


	2. Scream to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's learn a little about Rose's life in Pete's world with the meta-crisis, or as she knew him, James. Let us also begin to question all of life around us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, its characters, or any of the transcript of the episode "Amy's Choice"

"What." It wasn't a question. The Doctor opened his eyes before Rose. But quickly after, she let out a scream and opened her own eyes, only to stop breathing all together. After a moment's hesitation, she tried to get out a quick apology but only ended up puffing a small breath out through her lips.

"Rose," the Doctor said at the same moment that Rose said, "Doctor."

With both of their eyes starting to water, they both leaned in towards each other and pulled each other into a tight hug, burying their foreheads into the crooks of each other's neck. Rose let out one quiet sob and the Doctor pulled her tighter against him. Eventually they pulled back as Rory cleared his throat; but the Doctor keeps hold of Rose's forearms.

He looked her up and down a few times before finally speaking. "I must definitely be dreaming."

"Or maybe one of us is finally dead," Rose said softly before she could stop herself. Immediately, she raised a hand to cover her mouth. Her eyes were wide and glossy.

"Rose," the Doctor breathed, squeezing her forearms before taking her hand in both of his.

"Right, not to interrupt, but who exactly are you and why were you screaming?" asked Rory, who sat beside Rose.

"Sorry. Rose Tyler. I used to travel with the Doctor," she ignored the second part of the question, hoping he would, too.

"Used to?" Amy furrowed her brow as she looked between this 'Rose Tyler' and the Doctor who kept his eyes on Rose the entire time.

"We, um," Rose sniffed.

"Parallel world, me here, Rose there. And then you came back here and I brought you back there with meta-crisis me."

At the mention of the meta-crisis, or James as he had been known in Pete's world, Rose closed her eyes and bit her lips, tilting her head downwards.

Before the Doctor could continue, Rory spoke, "Sorry, what's a meta-crisis you, exactly?"

"Rose, you can't be here," the Doctor said, purposely avoiding Rory's question.

"Now you're definitely being rude." Amy smacked his shoulder but he didn't flinch, but he turned to her.

"No, I mean she really can't be here. There's no way to travel through universes anymore. Not a single crack."

"Crack? You mean like the one in my old bedroom? Not that I know what you're actually talking about."

"I think the real question is, why are we all having the same two dreams? And why two separate dreams?" Rose asked, not wanting to think about her past and her home any longer.

"The same two.. Wait were you also dreaming we were on the TARDIS?" Rory asked.

"And we thought this was a dream," Amy responded as the Doctor finally looked away from Rose and got off the bench, to pick things up off the ground.

"Doctor, what's going on?" Rory asked, also getting up.

Amy started to get up but struggled with her belly, so Rose stood and helped Amy.

"Thanks. Amy, by the way. And the stupid one with the ponytail is Rory." Amy said, smiling as she nodded to her husband. Rose smiled in response, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Although, she did admire the soft, loving gaze that Amy had when she looked at and talked about Rory.

"Doctor, what is it?" Rory tried to ask, again.

"Is this because of you? Is this some Time Lordy thing because you've shown up again?" Amy suggested.

"Maybe it could have something to do with you?" Rory asked gently, looking at Rose who in turn looked at him, unsure of what to say or even what's going on.

Also not knowing what's going on, but not wanting anyone to put Rose in any more of an uncomfortable situation, he tried to bring everyone's attention back to himself.

"Listen to me, trust nothing. From now on trust nothing you see, hear, or feel." He faced Rose with sad eyes as he said the last two words. Then feeling guilty- no. Was that guilt? Yes. Oh yes, definitely guilt and something else. Or maybe many something elses. But regardless, not knowing what to feel, and whether or not he should feel anything anyways, he turned his attention back to the Ponds. He slowly started to walk away, the Ponds and Rose following.

"But we're awake now," Rory concluded.

"Yeah, you thought you were awake on the TARDIS, too."

"But we're home," said Amy, almost sadly.

"Or maybe you just think you are." Rose didn't mean to sound as sad as she did, but no one noticed she even said anything, or at least not that she noticed anyone noticing. But she knew the feeling all too well. She would often dream that she woke up in the TARDIS, the place she truly felt was home before she finally settled with James. Until.. But anyhow, when she woke up in the TARDIS just minutes ago, with the old girl's hum in the back of her mind, she truly thought she was at home. But she knew she wasn't. She didn't really have a sense of 'home' anymore. She hadn't for a while.

"Yeah, you're home, you're also dreaming." The Doctor went on, "Trouble is, Rory, Amy, Rose Tyler, which is which?" Even with a new tongue, he still liked the way her name rolled off. He had heard what she said to Amy and knew if he looked at her, he'd probably look as sad and he imagined she did. But he took a chance anyways, only to find her schooling her features near perfectly. He looked away quickly before he could let his own schooled features slip and continued on talking. "Are we flashing forwards or backwards? Hold on tight." He stole another glance at Rose. Before his resolve broke, he looked past her and brushed past her, Amy, and Rory so none of them at to see his face. "This is going to be a tricky one."

And then came the birds.

The first time she woke up back on the TARDIS, she had been in her old room. She had also woken up screaming. Once she came to calm herself, she looked around in a panic, remembering falling asleep in her own bed at her flat back in Pete's World. It took her a while to realize where she was, and she cried over it even longer. But eventually she schooled her features together, something she had mastered quickly the first time she was stuck in Pete's World, and let the TARDIS guide her to the council room. She stopped as she heard a female voice referring to herself as a boat. She assumed that could have been the pregnant woman from Leadworth. Although why she had assumed that, she didn't know, nor did she question it.

She always woke up screaming. Except when she had James. But after… So she wasn't too surprised when she woke up screaming on the TARDIS floor.

"Rose!"

She hadn't heard him call her. She hadn't seen him skid across the floor to drop to his knees beside her. She hadn't felt him pull her up into his arms and start to rub comforting circles into her back. She didn't know when she stopped screaming but apparently she had, and as she came to, she realized her face was pressed flush against the Doctor's chest. Slowly, she pulled back and slid herself off his lap- lap? Since when was she on his lap?- and cleared her throat, looking anywhere about the room except in his direction.

"You've redecorated."

"Yeah."

Rose only nodded, unsure she can say or do much else.

After a second or two, Rory offered his hand to Rose as Amy offered hers to the Doctor, and they helped lift this mysterious pair up and onto their feet. Once up, the Doctor gave one more glance in Rose's direction before dusting himself off, straightening his bow tie, thanking Amy, and then turning to the console. He took in a deep breath, but then the TARDIS began to shutter and shake, sending the Doctor smashing into some of the controls.

"Ah! This is bad! I don't like this!" He wasn't screaming, but he voice was raised. "Come on, stop this!" He tried to argue and will the TARDIS to settle, but she wouldn't.

The Doctor turned around then back again and out of frustration, kicked the TARDIS. Amy let out a loud gasp while Rory stood speechless. Rose, on the other hand, wrapped her arms around herself, closing her eyes, still keeping her pokerface on, and inhaled through her nose, trying to calm the soft throbbing in the back of her mind that she knew as the TARDIS being upset and in pain.

Screaming out in pain, the Doctor bent over, clutching his foot in one hand, and using his other hand to steady himself against the council. "Never use force, you'll just embarrass yourself." He let go of his foot and started to walk away from the console. "Unless you're cross, in which case," he started to walk back to the console, raising his arms to either fling them about or hit the console. But Rose rushed forward, putting herself between the Doctor and the console, and raised her own arms to grab his hands and intertwine their fingers. This was often something she had to do when James first came to Pete's world. He was so frustrated with everything, especially himself. Both of his selves. But the fully Time Lord Doctor was right. James did need her. And so, she was always there for him, as eventually he was always there for her. But this wasn't James. And yet he was. Rose could see the hurt and anger that had always been the Doctor, even since the big ears and leather. But she also saw that, like James, sometimes the Doctor needed someone to stop him. To help him. To save him. To, for once, take care of him. And dream or reality, that was what Rose was going to do.

The Doctor slowly lowered his and Rose's joined hands and rested his forehead on their knuckles. He closed his eyes, and yet again was at a loss for words.

"So, uh, I think I'm going to get the manual," Amy offered after clearing her throat awkwardly.

"I threw it in a super nova," the Doctor nearly growled.

"You threw the manual in a super nova? Why?" Amy asked, stressing each word, hoping the Doctor would see how completely stupid he was sometimes.

He lowered his and Rose's hands to his sides and looked up at Amy. "Because I disagreed with it! Stop talking to me when I'm cross!" He released Rose's hands and jotted down the staircase to have a look under the console, running his hands through his hair and scavenging around for bits and pieces of who knew what.

"Okay!" Rory started, starring between Amy and Rose desperately. "But whatever's wrong with the TARDIS, is that what caused us to dream about the future?"

Looking up through the clear glass floor, the Doctor tried to catch Rory's eye. "Well, if we were dreaming of the future-" Then he made his way up the stairs again.

"Well, of course we were. We were in Leadworth," Amy cut him off, only to be cut off by Rory.

"Upper Leadworth."

"Yeah, and we could still be in Upper Leadworth dreaming of this. Don't you get it?" the Doctor asked as he finally made his was back to the console and started handing metal tools to his companions.

"If we were dreaming of the future, shouldn't it have just.. I dunno.. Played out rather than have us running about questioning if it's all really real? I mean the only way you can mess about in your own dream is to be lucid dreaming and that takes practice. But if it is a dream, there's no way we could all just be, what, casually all having the same one." Rose, thinking it was about time to figure this all out and just return to her flat to cry it all out for a few hours, decided to finally vocalize her thoughts. And upon doing so, received a small smile and a hand squeeze from the Doctor as he handed her a metal tool. "And if it was the future, why do we keep coming back here?"

"No, okay. No. This is real. I'm definitely awake." Amy was starting to get furiously mad, which was definitely not something the Doctor needed right now.

"Yeah, and you thought you were definitely awake when you were all elephanty," the Doctor said, walking towards Amy, as he puffed up his cheeks and raised his arms to the side so mimic the "elephanttyness" he was talking about.

Before Amy could attack, either verbally and physically, Rose stepped forward, putting the metal tool in her pocket, and firmly, almost in a double slapping manner, hit the Doctor's cheeks, and he coughed out the air he was holding in his no longer puffed up cheeks.

"That was rude. And cheeky," Rose said half heartedly as she pointed a finger in his face. "She was, is, whatever- in the other place, she's pregnant."

"And she could be giving birth right now," the Doctor retorted. "This could be the dream. I told you, trust nothing we see or hear or feel. Look around you, examine everything. Look for all the details that don't ring true." Spacing out the last few words, he scrunched up his face as he took the metal tools back from his companions, even pulling out the one from Rose's pocket without thought or hesitation, although he didn't make eye contact with her.

"Okay, well, we're in a spaceship that's bigger on the inside than the outside," Rory started.

"With a bowtie-wearing alien," Amy continued.

"And someone we don't know, but apparently the Doctor does, who will only tell us her name, and yet in the other place, we all knew each other well, and now we don't," Rory finished, looking Rose in the eye.

"I like his bow tie," Rose stated at the same time as the Doctor ordered Rory to, "Leave her alone."

Rose closed her eyes to prevent herself from looking at the Doctor, but she could practically feel his eyes glued to her.

"Look, I didn't mean it offensively. I'm sorry. Really, I am. But what I'm trying to say is that maybe what rings true isn't so simple." Rose opened her eyes then and looked at Rory. At first, they just kept eye contact, but eventually Rose nodded, and as did Rory in response.

"I suppose you have a valid point," the Doctor eventually said, still somewhat angry. That is, until the TARDIS switched off, leaving them in complete darkness other than the bright green glow of the time rotor, and he again wasn't sure what to feel, or if he even should. "It's dead. We're in a dead time machine."

But then the birds started again.

Rory clutched onto Amy, pulling her tightly into a hug.

The Doctor and Rose turned and met eye to eye and with only a second's hesitation from Rose, she grabbed his hand. But that wasn't enough, and he pulled her flush against him, closing his eyes as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Remember," He addressed towards the whole group, including himself. "This is real. But when we wake up in the other pace, remember how real this-" He squeezed Rose even tighten and kissed the crown of her head. "- feels." And he buried his face in her hair, inhaling her scent.

"It is real. I know it's real," Amy cried out, as she and Rory wrapped each other tighter into their arms.


	3. Who We Weren't or Aren't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's meet the Dream Lord and get iffy about Rose Tyler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, its characters, or any of the transcript from "Amy's Choice" nor do I own the episode, itself.

She woke up screaming, but she expected that. What she didn't expect was to wake up on the ground and in the Doctor's arms. She also didn't expect him to wake up with enough time before her to cradle her head into his chest to muffle her screams.

 

Clearing her throat after she's stopped screaming, Rose slowly lifts her head to look at the Doctor. "Thanks."

 

"Do you really like my bowtie?"

 

"Shut up," Rose reprimands with a smile and a roll of her eyes, and then herself, and got up off the ground. "Yes, I do." Offering her hand, she pulled the Doctor up, but he doesn't let go of her hand once he's upright.

Behind Rose, bells were tolling from some far off building out of sight, and school children were walking by. The Doctor started to walk around, looking around, whistling, and dragging Rose along in tow. Amy and Rory are sat together on a bench, also looking around as Amy rubbed her stomach.

 

"Okay, this is the real one. Definitely this one. It's all solid," Amy determined as Rory helped her up off the bench.

 

"Yeah, but it felt just as solid in the TARDIS as it does here. And every time we're here, you're entirely convinced it's real, and every time we're there, you're entire convinced that's real." Rose said, and the Doctor turned to give her a proud smile.

 

"Exactly. And you can't spot a dream when you're having it-"

 

"Unless it's lucid-"

 

"Yes lucid, but this isn't." With the Doctor's free hand, he started waving it about in front of his face.

 

"Right, I've seen that before. What are you looking for?" Rose asked, trying not to remember the Doctor making similar motions at Canary Wharf, and then again at Pete's world's Torchwood, oh so long ago. But she didn't want to think of that now. Or ever.

 

"Motion blur, pixilation." He put his hand down. "It could be a computer simulation." The Doctor dropped Rose's hand and grabbed Rory's face, pinching his cheeks and stretching them out before letting them go, looking slightly disappointed. "I don't think so, though."

 

An old lady started to pass by the group, stopping for a moment to address Rory. "Hello, Doctor."

 

In response, Rory and the Doctor both smiled and said their hellos. Amy and Rose both pinched their lips into firm lines as they looked at each other to stop themselves from giggling at the Doctor's, yet again, disappointed, if not offended, face as he starred down Rory.

 

"You're a doctor?"

 

"Yeah. And unlike you, I've actually passed some exams."

 

At that, Rose finally did laugh. The Doctor looked at her, wounded, before walking away and continuing what Rory took as partly an assault.

 

"A doctor, not a nurse, just like you've always dreamed. How interesting."

 

"What is?" Rory asked, trying to keep his voice level and calm as the group begin to follow the Doctor.

 

"Well, your dream wife, your dream job, probably your dream baby." He turned around, the group stopping mid step, and he walked right up to Rory. "Maybe this is your dream."

 

"It's Amy's dream, too. Isn't it, Amy?" Rory didn't sound entirely confident, but still very much so.

 

"Yes, of course it is." Amy sounded even less confident; more uncomfortable, if anything, as she laughed awkwardly.

 

"Could be your dream, too," Rose nodded to the Doctor, letting the attention fall on her and away from a very grateful Amy.

 

"Maybe it's yours?" Rory offered.

 

"Can't be, she doesn't know the two of you, or this face."

 

"This face?" Amy asked, confused and even more uncomfortable. She rubbed her stomach in comfort.

 

"Long story, doesn't matter. Point is, it can't be her dream."

 

"But it could be yours." Rory starred down the Doctor. "You know us, you know her, you probably want her here. I've heard that name before, Rose Tyler-"

 

"Yeah, me too." Amy's brows knitted together as she tried to remember where she'd heard that name before.

"Oh, you know me, I talk about my old companions all the time-"

"No, you don't," Amy and Rory said in unison.

"That is not true, I mentioned Sarah Jane-" The Doctor offered to Rose.  
"After we met her." She inhaled sharply through her nose as she thought. "Although when I first came back, that Martha Jones seemed to know just about exactly who I was. And Donna."  
"So, you only ever mention her?" Amy wasn't sure if she should be offended or curious. What could be so special or different about this one woman, that the Doctor would only ever talk about her, but no one else? And where had she heard her name? Would the Doctor ever mention her and Rory? Had he ever mentioned them? When they had all first figured out they were in a dream, Amy had to introduce herself and Rory since the Doctor didn't do so, himself. Which usually, he did.

 

"What's that?" the Doctor asked as he thrusted his thumb over his shoulder to point at a small building. If this was all just a dream, eventually he'd wake up and Rose would be gone. She always was. He didn't want to dwell on that now and planned to run away and avoid any and all conversations and mentions of Rose once everyone had woken up. Especially since he, in fact, knew exactly when he had mentioned Rose to Amy and Rory.

 

Amy looked behind the Doctor, then back at him with a dribbled-on-your-shirt look. "Old people's home."

 

They all turned to look at the building. There was a sign in the front, surrounded by some plant life that said, "Sarn Residential Care Home." Behind the sign lay a big window, and behind that big window sat an old man who was starring out at the group. He did not look happy, nor curious; in fact, it was difficult to place any actual emotion on his face. Looking around at some more windows, there were other elderly patrons staring out at the group with facial expressions too hard to place other than "eery," which wasn't much of an emotion to start with.

 

"You said everyone here lives to their nineties. There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick." Rose could practically hear the smile in the Doctor's voice.

 

Immediately, the Doctor took off running and Rory rushed to keep up. Rose got ready to chase after them, but as Amy started moaning and whining out, she tensed up and turned to her, trying to make sure she was alright. If she was having contractions, or possibly even going into labor, she would need at least one person on hand.

 

"Can we not do the running thing?" Amy called out exasperatedly. She put her hands on her hips, and arched her back, which caused her protruding stomach to show off even more.

 

Letting out a sigh of relief, Rose began to laugh. "Blimey, you had me scared there for a second. Thought another contraction was coming on."

 

Amy smiled at her. "No, I'm alright. Thanks for staying behind, though. 'Preciate it. I could have a baby hanging out right between my legs and those two idiots wouldn't even notice."

 

Rose laughed even harder. "One time, the Doctor moved the TARDIS while my mum was onboard. Got all in my face all excited how impressively sciencey he thought he was being. Didn't even notice my mum until I told him. She threatened to kill him if we ended up on Mars or should've seen his face." Amy noticed the way Rose's face faltered every time she mentioned her mother, but she didn't say anything about it.

 

"For a genius, he's a complete idiot most of the time."

 

"Can't disagree with you there. Now, c'mon." Rose put her hand on Amy's back to help push her along. "Let's catch up to our idiots."

 

Amy smiled, thankful for Rose helping her along, and glad to hear her call the Doctor and Rory 'our idiots.'

 

"Y'know, I think I might be starting to like you," Amy decided aloud.

 

"Thanks. You're not too bad yourself."

 

"Oh, I know." And together the girls laughed at they made their way into the old people's home.

 

_

 

By the time the two women made their way into the Sarn's sitting room, one of the old ladies had asked the Doctor if he could 'borrow' him.

 

"You're the size of my grandson," She had told him, trying to find the hem of the jumper she was knitting.

 

"Ah, slightly keen to move on." The Doctor hesitated as he slipped the unfinished garment on, dropping to his knees. "Freak psychic schism disorder." Once it was on, the Doctor placed both hands on either side of the woman's chair and leaned close into her face. He stared at her for a moment before speaking. "You're incredibly old, aren't you?"

 

"Doctor, rude." Rose chastised him, holding back the urge to smack him in the chest-- a habit she picked up long, long ago.

 

Everyone failed to notice all the elderly turning their heads and sitting up straight to stare down the four companions. However, none of them missed the sounds of the birds.

 

_

 

They all woke up in the TARDIS, leaning against the console.

 

"Okay, I hate this, Doctor," Amy whined. "Stop it. Because this is definitely real. It's definitely this one."

 

"You keep saying that," Rose said, sounding rather sad. "Every time we wake up."

 

"It's bloody cold." Rory shivered.

 

"The heating's off!" the Doctor called out from somewhere about the TARDIS.

 

"The heating's off," Rory repeated, blandly.

 

"Yeah. Put on a jumper. That's what I always do," the Doctor replied, coming back into view.

 

"Yeah, sorry about Mrs. Poggit. She's so lovely though."

 

The Doctor was crouched down, out of sight, until he looked through a hole in the banister wall and gave a slow, cryptic response while eying Rory. "I won't believe her nice old lady act, if I were you."

 

"What do you mean, act?" Amy stepped forwards.

 

"Everything's off," Came the Doctor's response as he stood up. "Sensors, core power, we're drifting." He started making his was back down the staircase and towards the console. "The scanner's down so we can't even see out. We could be anywhere."

 

"And that's the problem," Rose chimed in, not entirely sure how she came to the conclusion but somehow knowing it was an important thing to consider. But she spoke low and only to herself, as the Doctor continued his rant, raising his voice to an accusing shout.

 

"Someone — something is overriding my," He flared his arms about for a moment before lowering his voice. "Controls!"

 

"Well, that took a while," said a small, little man who appeared at the top of the stairs. He was dressed like the Doctor as if he was mocking him. Everyone turned to look at him. "Honestly, I'd heard such good things." He smiled then dropped his face as he made his way down the stairs. "Last of the Time Lords. The Young Coming Storm." He mocked. "Him and the bowtie." The man laughed and smiled, as if he was so clever, stepping up to face the Doctor.

 

"How did you get into my TARDIS?" The Doctor tried to keep his voice low and level as the man walked about the console. "What are you?"

 

"What should we call me?" the man retorted with a click of his tongue. "Well, if you're the Time Lord, let's call me the Dream Lord."

 

The Doctor nodded to the Dream Lord, looking him up and down, considering him. "Nice look."

 

"This?" The Dream Lord now looked himself down and up. "No, I'm not convinced. Bowties," he scoffed, with a face of disgust and disapproval.

 

The Doctor reached into his pocket, pulling out a ball and throwing it at the Dream Lord. It went right through him, like a projection.

 

"Interesting," the Doctor mused.

 

Amy and Rory shared a nervous look, but Rose, with her features still schooled, kept her eyes on the Dream Lord.

 

"I'd love to be impressed but, um, Dream Lord — it's in the name, isn't it? Spooky, not quite there." And then the Dream Lord disappeared, only to reappear behind the group. "And yet very much here. Although," he looked to Rose, "I'm not entirely convinced that I'm the most impressive thing here."

 

Rose tightened her jaw, but kept eye contact with the Dream Lord. There were a number of things he could have been talking about. Or he could have just been trying to turn the others against her, or get the Doctor angry. She thought it safest to best on all of the above.

 

"I'll do the talking, thank you." The Doctor stared down the Dream Lord, stepping protectively, maybe even a little possessively, in front of Rose, putting one hand on the console, the other behind himself and by Rose's side. This forced the Dream Lord to meet the eye of the Time Lord and neither dared to look away. "Amy, want to take a guess at what that," he nodded to the Dream Lord. "Is?"

 

Amy stepped up next to the Doctor, getting closer to the Dream Lord, but still keeping her distance. "Um, Dream Lord, he creates dreams." Amy looked towards the Doctor to see if what she said was correct, and failed to notice the Dream Lord looking at her.

 

"Dreams, delusions, cheap tricks," the Doctor added on.

"And what about the gooseberry here?" started the Dream Lord, referring to Rory. "Does he get a guess?"

"Uh, listen, mate, if anyone's the gooseberry around here, it's the Doctor."

 

Under any other circumstance, Rose and Amy may have laughed.

 

"Ah, well, there's a delusion I'm not responsible for," the Dream Lord said with a smug smile.

"No, he is. Isn't he, Amy?"

"Oh, Amy. You have to sort your man out."

"He doesn't need sorting out." Amy tried to sound as confident as she could, but her hesitancy was obvious.

Again, the Dream Lord disappeared and reappeared behind them. Rory jumped behind Amy, and Rose moved the Doctor's arm- that was now in front of her stomach, almost holding onto her hip- down to his side.

"I've seen your dreams." The Dream Lord said, looking at everyone in turn, ending with Amy. "Some of them twice, Amy. Blimey, I'd blush if I had a blood supply or a real face." Then he turned to Rose. "And you. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?" he asked slowly.

 

"Yeah, 'cos I haven't heard that one about a million times over the years." Rose chortled, dryly.

 

"And how many years has it been?" the Dream Lord asked, narrowing his eyes. No one saw the flicks of gold swirl in Rose's eyes, except him.

 

Before Rose could respond, the Doctor brushed past her and walked up towards the Dream Lord. The gold is Rose's eyes dissipated. "Where did you pick up this cheap cabaret act?"

 

"Me? Oh, you're on shaky ground-"

"Am I?"

"If you had any more tawdry quirks, you could open up a tawdry quirk shop. The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair," the Doctor, feeling entirely low about himself, started to look about but refused to meet anyone's eye, except Rose's. But only for a brief moment. "The clothes designed by a first year fashion student. I'm surprised you haven't got a little purple space dog just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are," The Dream Lord finished with a self satisfied grin. The Doctor could only nod in response. "Where was I?"

"Um," offered Rory. "You were—"

"I," the Dream Lord started as he disappeared and reappeared above the banister. "Know where I was.. So here's your challenge… two worlds. Here in the time machine and there— in the village that time forgot."

"Time forgot?" Rose asked, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

The Dream Lord ignored her and continued. That seemed to be happening to her a lot today. Was it always like this? She was certain it wasn't. "One is real, the other's.. fake."

"Or so you say," Rose mused, and this time the Doctor looked at her, but only for a moment. Once more, Rose wasn't sure where she was coming up with any of this, but she was.

Again, the Dream Lord ignored her. "And just to make it more interesting, you're to face in both worlds a deadly danger, but only one of the dangers is real." He smiled.

"Tweet, tweet. Time to sleep."

And once more, the birds.

"Oh, or are you waking up?" the Dream Lord asked.

"Shut up." Rose mumbled.

The Doctor tried to stay away, keeping his eye on the Dream Lord who started to walk away. But it was too late.


	4. Something Not to Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose has a secret. Actually, she has many. But the Doctor isn't going to let anyone gang up on her. Not even himself. Or is he? Let's start to get a little emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, its characters, or any of the transcript from "Amy's Choice" nor do I own the episode, itself. NOTE: Every time something is in italics, it means the Doctor or Rose is communicating telepathically.

When they all woke, they were lying on the ground of the old people's home. But they were the only ones there; not that they had noticed.

Again, Rose screamed. "Sorry."

"Why do you keep screaming?" Rory asked, a touch offensively.

Rose shrugged. "Habit." She missed the Doctor's face sadden once more as he watched her stand up.

"This is bad," the Doctor quickly said, jumping up. "This is very, very bad."

And then the Dream Lord walked in, wearing a suit and tie. Rose stumbled backwards upon seeing it. She'd seen that entire get up before. Many times. It was one of James' favorites. And one of hers. Suddenly, she began to question if all of this being her dream wasn't as crazy of an idea, after all.

"Look at this x-ray," The Dream Lord started and he held out a sheet of- well- x-rays, of a brain. "Your brain is completely see-through," he joked. No one was amused, except the Dream Lord. "But then, I've always been able to see through you, Doctor."

"Always," Amy stepped forwards. "What do you mean, always?"

"You've changed your outfit," Rory stated, slowly.

"So have you," the Dream Lord defended himself. Then he turned to Rose. "What do you think?" He grabbed the base of his tie and gracefully ran his hand down the length of it. "Always liked a man in a suit." It wasn't a question, but it came out rudely, if not accusingly. Rose stayed silent, her jaw clammed tightly shut as she continued to refuse to look at him.

Slowly, the Doctor began to back away and sat down on a chair, crossing his legs, and looking the Dream Lord up and down as he continued talking.

"Now then, the prognosis is this… if you die in the dream, you wake up in reality, healthy recovery in next to no time. Ask me what happens if you die in reality."

"You die," Rose growled, her voice harsh and low. She stood back by a table, looking in the direction of the wall, but rather than looking at it, it seemed more like she was looking through it. But no one looked at her, though they all heard her.

"That's why it's called reality," the Dream Lord continued, unconcerned.

"Have you met the Doctor before?" Amy was getting very angry. Rory thought it could be the pregnancy hormones, but he, himself, was getting very angry, too. "Do you know him?" She turned to look at the Doctor. "Doctor, does he?"

Before the Doctor could respond, the Dream Lord went on, "Now, don't get jealous. He's been around, our boy." He directed his gaze towards Rose, but again everyone kept their eye on the Dream Lord, faced away from Rose. And again, he was the only one to notice the gold in her eyes. He smiled. "Hasn't he, Wolf Tyler?" He turned back to Amy and Rory. "But never mind that, you've got a world to choose." Then he walked towards the Doctor, putting one hand in his suit pocket, like he (and James) used to do. This only upset Rose more and she grabbed onto the ledge of the table behind her so tightly, that her knuckles turned white. "One reality was always too much for you, Doctor. Maybe that's why you left part of yourself in another. Take two and call me in the morning." He smiled, raising one hand to his ear and mouth to imitate a telephone before disappearing.

"Okay, I don't like him," Rory complained

"Who is he?" demanded Amy as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I don't know," The Doctor responded dully. "It's a big universe."

"Why is he doing this?"

"Maybe because he has no physical form. That gets you down after a while. So, he's taking it out on folk like us who can touch and eat and feel." He looked down at the unfinished jumper he was still wearing and stood up to take it off.

"What does he mean, 'deadly danger' though?" Rory asked nervously. "Nothing deadly has ever happened here." He started turning, looking about the room. "I mean, a bit of natural wastage, obviously." And then his gaze focused on Rose. She was still starring at the wall, hands clutched to the table. To him, she only looked like she was concentrating on her thoughts, which, in a way, she sort of was. "Those things the Dream Lord said about you-" Rory started.

"Leave it." The Doctor cut him off.

"Yeah.. Yeah, y'know what, Doctor? We deserve some actual answers," chimed in Amy.

"They do-" Rose finally looked away from the wall and to the Doctor, but she still kept her hands on the table. She tried to side with the Ponds, although she wasn't sure she wanted to. She wasn't sure what she wanted. Except.. no.

"No, Rose Tyler, they don't. Because once we wake up- and I mean really wake up- you'll be gone again and it won't…" Both their faces dropped completely, emotionless masks gone entirely.

"Matter?" It wasn't really a question.

"You have.. your mother, Pete, Tony.. the meta-crisis me-"

"James. That's what he was called."

"Sorry, not to interrupt, but you still haven't said what a meta-crisis is," Rory interjected.

"And what do you mean 'was?'" Judging on the sadness in Rose's voice, Amy knew she shouldn't have asked, but she needed some answers.

"Come on, Doctor, it's time you started explaining things." Rory was becoming very angry now.

"No, it's really not. 'Both worlds a deadly danger' ring any bells, Ponds? We need to decide which world is…" The stopped for a moment, looking about the room. He had finally taken notice to the lack of retired elderly. "They've all gone. They've.. all.. gone." And with that, he took off running out of the building. Everyone followed.

"Why does he keep calling us Ponds?" Rory muttered to himself.

 

\-----

 

By the time the Doctor got outside, school children were being led by their teacher up a set of stairs to a supposed castle.

Then Rory burst out the door. "Why would they leave?"

"And what did you mean about Mrs. Poggit's nice old lady act?" Amy added as she walked out next.

Rose stayed silent as she walked out, but she closed the door loudly behind her. No one flinched.

"One of my tawdry quicks — sniffing out things that aren't what they seem." The Doctor turned to the Ponds and Rose.

"And then licking it," Rose chimed in, but her voice was entirely flat.

"Oi. So come on." He smiled and clapped his hands. "Let's think. The mechanics of this reality split we're stuck in. Time asleep exactly matches time in our dream world." He was flailing his arms all about and pointing to and fro at his companions. "Unlike in conventional dreams-" The Doctor turns mid sentence and walks off.

"And we're all dreaming the same dream at the same time," Rory concluded.

The Doctor turned and walked back to them. "Yes, sort of communal trance — very rare, very complicated." His arms flailed about again. "I'm sure there's a dream giveaway tell, but my mind isn't working because.." He started raising his voice, getting angry, and Rose could feel it in the back of her mind. "This.. village.. IS.. SO.. DULL!"

 _"DOCTOR!"_ Rose yelled into his mind- _Wait. WAIT. Shit, shit, OH.. SHIT._ Rose thought to herself.

The Doctor froze on the spot and starred at Rose, both their eyes wide as saucers. _"You shouldn't be able to do that. How are you able to do that? ... I'm definitely dreaming, aren't I?"_

 _"I didn't mean to. I've been trying not to, all of my walls were up but.. not all of yours were."_ She was just so used to mentally stopping James and vise versa.

"Doctor, are you alright?" Amy asked, but the Doctor could only nod in response, keeping his eyes fixated on Rose.

_"Rose."_

When she didn't respond, he kept his eyes on her, but spoke to Amy and Rory. "Ponds, go look around for any danger. Don't ask, just do it. Please." They hesitated, but eventually Rory pulled Amy away.

 _"Rose,"_ he was practically begging.

_"I, uh, me and James — we were married. The human way and the, uh.. The.. The Gallifreyan way. We… Bonded.. Still had the Time Lord brain of him, but wasn't sure if he.. If he could.. And he.. at least he said.. he said that he had a low level telepathic connection to you. Don't explain it much, said he didn't want it to upset me.. Said I might be able to connect with you if somehow I ever saw you again. He, um, he would dream.. About you. The connection — all the worst times you had, they'd be projected into his dreams-"_

_"And all of his were projected into mine I thought they were just dreams, nightmares, coincidences, my mind playing tricks."_ Rose could tell how much earnest and sadness filled him.

 _"He saw what happened before you regenerated. So much pain and you still made sure the last person you saw was me."_ Both their eyes were starting to shine with unshed tears.

_"I thought I was dying."_

_"I know."_

_"Why did he think you'd be able to communicate with me? Wait, no, why did he think you'd be compatible enough to bond with him?"_

_"It's.. It's a long story. And we don't have a lot of time. I'm so sorry, Doctor."_

They stopped their telepathic conversation abruptly as off in the distance, Amy started screaming.

"AMY!" the Doctor yelled out to her, as he and Rose ran over.

"It's coming!" Amy yelled, bending forward and clutching her stomach.

"No, it's not! Really, Amy, it's not!" Rose tried to comfort her. She knew it was only a contraction, she'd helped her mother give birth to Tony. And then..

"How would you know, you're not a bloody doctor!" Amy yelled, accusingly.

"I just do. Now breathe and squeeze my hands as tightly as you need until the pain stops," Rose calmly directed the ginger, pushing past the two panicking doctors, and holding her hands out to Amy, who grabbed them and squeezed tighter than Rose expected the young woman to. "Blimey, you're strong." Rose laughed uncomfortably. "Now just breathe really deep a few times."

Amy did as told until eventually, the pain subsided and she lightened her grip on Rose's hands as she evened out her breathing.

"What?" The Doctor exclaimed. _"What?"_ The Doctor also attempted to ask telepathically, although he was still very skeptical and uncomfortable with it. But by the gods, did it feel- well, it felt like Rose; all warm and embracing.

Rose rolled her eyes.

"This is my life now and it just turned you white as a sheet, so don't you call again. Ever. Okay?" Amy said lowly as she eyed the Doctor.

"Sorry," was all he could manage.

"Yeah." Amy walked away, releasing Rose's hands, but eyeing her to try to tell her to follow. And so she did. Once they got to a swing set, away from the Doctor and Rory, Amy turned to Rose and apologized. "Sorry. For yelling. At you. And thanks."

"Yeah, don't mention it." Rose said, keeping her eyes on the ground as she swung herself back and forth on her heels, her face masked emotionlessly.

They sat quietly until the Doctor came up behind Rose, grabbing her swing and steadying her, while Rory put his hands on Amy's shoulders.

"Now," the Doctor began. "We all know there's an elephant in the room-"

"I have to be this size, I'm having a baby." Amy crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at the Doctor before looking away.

"No, no, the hormones seem real, but no." The Doctor leaned back, swinging Rose forwards a bit, and looked at the back of Rory's head. "Is nobody going to mention Rory's ponytail," he tried to change the subject and lessen Amy's anger.

Rose swung herself back on her heels and purposefully bumped herself into the Doctor. Rude. She mentally chastised, not feeling much like talking aloud at the moment.

"Oof!" The Doctor made a grunting sound as he pulled on swing to try to steady himself. "Oh, come on. You two-" he looked between Rose and Amy. "-hold him down, I'll cut it off." The three of them smiled at that, even Rose, despite herself.

"This from the man in the bowtie?" Rory dejected, offended.

"I like his bowtie," Rose said at the same time that the Doctor said, "Bowties are cool."

Rose smiled to herself, but the Doctor looked down and tried to smile at her. He patted her shoulders and gave them a quick squeeze before letting go and walking around and ahead of the swing set as he spotted Mrs. Poggit standing on the staircase that they had watched the school children walk up only minutes ago.

"I don't know about you, but I wouldn't hire Mrs. Poggit as a babysitter." He said, as everyone walked over to him, also eyeing Mrs. Poggit. "What is she doing? What does she want?" He asked no one in particular.

And then the birds.

"Oh, no. Here we go."

 

\-----

 

More screaming came from Rose, but this time, her hand had already covered her mouth before she awoke.

"You really need to stop doing that," Rory sighed.

"Sorry."

"It's really cold. You got any warm clothes?" Amy asked the Doctor.

"What does it matter if we're cold? We have to know what she's up to." The Doctor started to flail his arms in Amy's face, but Rose came up behind him and grabbed his hands, pulling them down to his sides. She held them there until she could physically and mentally feel him settle. Once she let go, he lifted his hands up to cover his face and closed his eyes. "Sorry, sorry, um…"

"C'mon, I'll show you." Rose started walking off, but the Doctor grabbed her arm.

"The TARDIS has changed since the last time you were really here, whatever you're looking for may not be where you think it is."

"Then this will give me a chance to explore a little," she responded, flatly. "Besides, if I get lost, I'm sure I'll find my way back to you eventually." Rose pulled her arm from the Doctor's grip, leaving him speechless, and she walked off with Amy and Rory in tow.

 

\-----

 

"So how do you keep doing that? And how exactly do you know the Doctor? Obviously neither of you wants to talk about this 'meta-crisis' thing, but can you at least tell us something?" asked Rory, a bit impatiently, but trying not to sound too rude.

"Used to work at a shop when I was nineteen. Lived with my mum at a council estate in London.

"One day at work, I went down to the basement to give this coworker some money that a bunch of us pitched in to get lotto tickets. But I couldn't find him, started walking around.

"Suddenly these plastic window-shop dummies started moving; thought it was some stupid college kids. I yelled at them but they wouldn't stop, kept getting closer to me. Then someone grabbed my hand. I looked over and it was this man with big ears and a big nose and a leather jacket. He was smiling at me. Told me to run. So I did. Then he blew up my job. Saved my life, though. Next day I saved his. Ran with him for almost three years."

Rose was trying not to add any emotions to her words as she continued through the TARDIS. Once she finished, she reached the small little bunker with boxes of blankets she remembered from all those years ago. She remember everything about the TARDIS. How could anyone ever forget? But she remember this little area of storage. She and Jack would sometimes hide the Doctor's jacket there when he was being a right proper git. It was always easier to find than any specific room, and too ordinary and dull for the Doctor to suspect or consider.

Clearing her throat, she dug through one of the boxes until she found what used to be her favorite fuzzy pink blanket. She faced Amy and Rory, "Right, well, take what you need. Every box should have a blanket or something." Then she headed up the stairs, back to the console.

Amy and Rory stared at each other until they were sure Rose was far enough away.

"Wow," Amy whispered.

"Yeah," Rory replied.

"Guess we better get to it then." And with that, Amy turned towards the boxes and rummaged through some blankets.

Both Amy and Rory were quiet for a few moments until Rory decided to voice his opinion. "I want the other life. You know, where we're happy and settled and-" He swayed and playfully punched Amy in the side. "Let's have a baby."

Amy smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes, and she turned to Rory. "But don't you wonder if that life is real, then why would we give up all this? Why would anyone?"

"Because we're going to freeze to death."

"The Doctor will fix it," Amy insisted, throwing a blanket at Rory.

"Or I don't know, maybe something with Rose."

"What about Rose?"

"Well, that's exactly it. I don't know."

"Rory.."

"Okay… Because we're going to get married." He stretched the word and put the blanket over Amy's shoulders, playfully, and snuggled her up in it. They both laughed.

"We can still get married someday."

Rory let go of the blanket and backed away, his face dropping, "You don't want to anymore." He turned away from Amy, not wanted her to see how upset he is. "I thought you had chosen me, not him."

"You are always so insecure."

"You ran off with another man." Rory chanced a look at Amy.

"Not in that way."

"It was the night before our wedding," He nearly snarled.

"We're in a time machine. It could be the night before our wedding for as long as we want."

Rory shrugged, sadness and despair filling up every ounce of his being, "We have to grow up eventually."

"Hmm." Amy picked up another blanket before starting her walk up the stairs. "Says who?"

 

\-----

 

"You're right," The Doctor stated as he heard Rose make it to the console, but he doesn't look up from what he was doing.

"How's that?"

"You always find your way back to me."

"Eventually."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

Silence.

"I still don't know how you keep managing that. The universe is rarely that kind to me." He lifted the thing he was working on, pretending to put a great amount of concentration into it, but it was already done. Rose was used to the Doctor and James doing this often.

"You were right, too." At that, the Doctor did look up at Rose, his brows furrowed. "He needed me. But I think.. so did you." The Doctor's brows softened out, along with the rest of his face. He looked as sad as he did the last time she say him; this him.

"Yes I do." It was barely above a whisper, but Rose heard it loud and clear. And now it was Rose's turn to look miserable.

 _"Doctor."_ She caressed his mind with her own, and he closed his eyes. Rose took this time to look at him, really look at him, for the first time. He looked so much younger than she'd ever seen him. And yet so much older, as well. It hurt. She hurt. And she could tell that so did he. She remembered how he would often talk about all that he had seen and done, all the grief and despair he held inside. Sometimes James would say that with her, he could almost forgive himself. All of his selves.

_"Did he really say that?" _the Doctor inquired, opening his eyes to see that he's startled Rose.__

__"I.. I didn't mean for you to see that."_ _

__The Doctor sniffed. "I used to feel like that. When you were still here. It makes sense that he would tell you. Probably takes every chance he can, seeing as he has the chance to be with you."_ _

__"He didn't have much of a choice. Neither did I."_ _

__"Rose."_ _

__"Not that I wasn't grateful. I was. I am."_ _

__"You keep using past tense."_ _

__"What's that, then?" Amy asked as she and Rory got to the top of the stairs, pointing to the object in the Doctor's hands._ _

__With one last look at Rose, he looked over at Amy, then Rory. He stepped towards Rory and handed him the contraption. "Rory, wind. Amy, could you attach this," He handed her the end of a long wire that hung from the bottom of the thing in Rory's hands. "To the monitor, please?"_ _

__"I was promised amazing worlds. Instead, I get duct central heating and a.. weird.. kitchen.. windup.. device," Rory wallows, furrowing his brows at the object._ _

__"It's a generator. Get winding," the Doctor ordered._ _

__"Ah, not enough," Amy complained._ _

__"Rory, wind!" the Doctor whined._ _

__"Why is the Dream Lord picking on you?" Rory asked. "Why us?"_ _

__A sharp buzzing noise came from behind the group, and they all turned to find the source. One of the circles windows of the TARDIS, previously pitch black, admitted an imagine of the TARDIS' surroundings._ _

__"Well, that's new," Rose quipped._ _

__"New Doctor, new TARDIS," The Doctor responded, quietly._ _

__"Where are we?" Amy asked._ _

__"We're in trouble."_ _

__"What is that?" Rory asked, pointed towards a glowing icy blue ball outside the circular window._ _

__"A star. A cold star." The Doctor took off running towards the TARDIS doors. He opened them, only for a bright, blinding light to emit into the TARDIS. Everyone covered their eyes until the Doctor closed the doors. "That's why we're freezing. It's not a heating malfunction. We're drifting towards a cold sun. There's our deadly danger for this version of reality."_ _

__"So this must be the dream," Amy decided as the Doctor finally closed the doors. "There is no such thing as a cold star. Star's burn."_ _

__"So is this one, it's just burning cold."_ _

__"Is that possible?"_ _

__The Doctor whined and ran up the stairs, flailing his arms around evermore, raising his voice. "I can't know everything. Why does everybody expect me to always.." He trailed off, stretching out the last word as he pointed an accusing finger right into Amy's face. But before Amy could get too angry and do something rash, Rose took his hand in one of hers. He growled a little, but eventually turned his own hand over to hold onto hers as he plopped himself down on a chair and crossed his legs while using his free hand to rub his face._ _

__"How do you keep doing that?" Amy wondered aloud, but no one paid her much mind._ _

__"Okay, this is something you haven't seen before, so does that mean this is the dream?" Rory asked._ _

__"I don't.." The Doctor's frustration flared again and Rose could feel it- the dull sharpness in the back of her mind, so she ran her thumb over his thumb and mentally tried to soothe him. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "I don't know, Rory. But there it is," he started softly, but his voice began to raise as he continued. Yet he keeps the pace of his words steady. "And I'd say we've got about-" he looked down at his watch- watch? a Time Lord wearing a watch. Well, even James wore a watch, but that was only because Tony made Pete buy it for him for Christmas one year. Then again, didn't her first Doctor wear a watch? Maybe? Yes? Blimey, how time flies.- "Fourteen minutes until we crash into it." He pointed at Rory before releasing Rose's hand and standing up to bound towards the console. "But that's not a problem."_ _

__"Because you know how to get us out of this?" Rory questioned, half hopefully and half disbelievingly._ _

__"Because we'll have frozen to death by then," the Doctor responded as he put the ear pieces of a stethoscope into his ears._ _

__"Where in the world did you pull those out of?" Amy asked, eyebrows raised. "And what are we going to do?"_ _

__"Stay calm. Don't get sucked into it. Because this just might be the battle that we have to lose."_ _

__"Ah, this is so you, isn't it?" Rory shook his head because that was not a question, but an accusing statement._ _

__"What?" The Doctor asks, calmly._ _

__"Huh! What? A weird new star, fourteen minutes left to live, and only one man to save the day? Huh?" The Doctor shifts his jaw around as he looks to and fro from Rory, Amy, Rose, then back at Rory. "I just wanted a nice village and a family."_ _

__"Rory, it could be so much worse. You can trust me on that." Rose tried to reassure Rory, but the words sounded far from that to even Rose, herself._ _

__Rory turned on her. "Yeah, and how would you know?"_ _

__"Because I've been there," She nearly spit out._ _

__"Oh, dear, Doctor." From behind the Doctor, the Dream Lord appeared, and the Doctor turned to face him. "Dissent in the ranks. There was an old Doctor from Gallifrey who ended up throwing his life away. He let down his friends and—"_ _

__But then the birds._ _

__"Oh, no. We've run out of time. Don't spend too long there or you'll, um… catch your death here."_ _


	5. Bad Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get a little scared. And a little angry. And a little emotional. And let's take it all out on Rose Tyler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, its characters, or any of the transcript from "Amy's Choice" nor do I own the episode, itself.

This time when they woke, Rory covered Rose's mouth, as he had woken up next to her and really wasn't in the mood to hear her screaming. Once she calmed, she took a sharp inhale through her nose and eyed him angrily as he removed his hand.

"It's not like I can control it, you know. I've been doing it for years."

"You must've not gotten laid in years, then." Rory regretted it the moment he said it, as Rose's angry face quickly switched to her emotionless mask. "Sorry."

"Forgiven and forgotten," her voice was chillingly flat as she stood up and immediately walked towards the staircase to the castle.

"What did you mean that 'it could be so much worse' and that we could 'trust you on that?'" Amy asked and she managed to sit herself up.

"Doesn't matter, leave it," Rose begrudged as she helped Amy to her feet, looking towards the castle and away from Amy. "Where are all the children?"

"That, Rose Tyler," the Doctor furrowed his brows. "Is a very good question." He took off running towards the piles of dust surrounding the grounds of the castle, using his sonic to, well, god knows what. The two women watched as he picked up some of the dust and let it run through his fingers.

Then Rory swindled up beside Amy. "You see, this is the real one. I just feel it, don't you feel it?"

"I feel it both places," Amy said.

"I'm not so sure I feel it in either," Rose grumbled, mostly to herself.

"Well, I feel it here." Rory ignored both women. "It's just so tranquil and relaxed and," he placed a hand on Amy's stomach. "Happy. Nothing bad could ever happen here."

"Not really me though, is it? I mean, maybe you. But would I really be happy settling down in a place with a pub, two shops, and a really bad amateur dramatic society?" Amy asked tiredly. Rory let out an offended noise from the back of his throat and settled in closer to Amy, his moth hanging wide open. "That's why I got pregnant, so I don't have to see them doing 'Oklahoma!' Really, I'm happy with you, but I'm not so sure I'm happy in a place like this, with a boring same day-to-day life." Not wanting to go any further with the discussion, she turned and walked towards the Doctor. Not wanting to be standing with Rory, herself, Rose followed. But then, so did Rory. "Doctor, what are you doing?"

"And what are those piles of dust?" Rory asked.

The Doctor looked at Rose and swallowed, nodding his head towards her feet. She looked down to see a water bottle and backpack.

"What, what is it?" Amy asked. Then she followed Rose's line of sight. "Oh, my god."

"You're saying those piles of dust were the children?" The Doctor nodded at Rory's question. "What happened to them?"

Looking around, the Doctor saw the folks of the old people's home walking in a single file line down the street. "I think they did." Everyone turned to looked, and they all rushed over to the rock wall by the stairs to get a better look.

"But they're completely harmless other than a few curses every now and then. They're just old people." Amy said, with only little confidence.

"No, they're very old people."

"Well, so are you and we don't criticize you about that. Well." Rory turned to the Doctor.

Ignoring Rory, he ran down the stairs. "Sorry, but I don't think you'll be wanting to keeping them alive."

"You can't just kill a bunch of old people!" Amy called out.

Everyone followed the Doctor down the stairs, and once they all made it to the bottom, the old people turned in unison to face them.

"Hello, peasants." The Dream Lord appeared, sporting a different suit. Luckily for Rose, it wasn't one she'd ever seen before. But it still made her angry and offended. "What?" he said, turning to her. "Thought you'd enjoy the whole suit thing." Her eyes glowed gold, but only slightly and the Dream Lord turned, not caring to challenge her. "What's this? Attack of the old people? Oh that's ridiculous." The Doctor's hands were clenched in fists, and if the Dream Lord was an actual, physical form, Rose wouldn't have been surprised if the Doctor had tried to punch him. "This has got to be the dream, hasn't it?" He turned towards Amy and Rose. "What do you think, ladies?" Everyone stopped in their tracks. "Let's all jump under a bus and wake up in the TARDIS." He turned to the Doctor. "You first."

"Leave them alone."

"Oh, do that again," the Dream Lord cooed. "I love it when he does that. Tall, dark hero. 'Leave them alone!'" he mimicked the Doctor, standing up straighter and imitating a low, deep voice. He turned and smirked at Rose, "Always was one of the things that made you fall in love with him, wasn't it? Although," he turned back to the Doctor, smirk still in place. "That was a very long time ago. Wasn't it, Doctor? Rose?" He turned back to her. "Come on, tell him how long ago it was. I know you're just itching to."

"Shut up," Rose said in that calm but eerie voice her suit wearing Doctor always used to threaten and ward off others.

"Drop it. Drop all of it. I know who you are," the Doctor stated, forcing the Dream Lord to break from his stare down from Rose.

"Of course you don't."

"Of course I do. No idea how you can be here, but there's only one person in this universe who hates me as much as you do." The Doctor ended with a smile, at which the Dream Lord smiled back.

Rose knew exactly who he was talking about. The Doctor could feel it and nudged her consciousness to confirm her assumption. He could feel her sorrow, though she tried to hide it. She wanted to immediately draw up her walls, and the Doctor knew it, but she kept them down in support.

"Never mind me. Maybe you should worry about them," the Dream Lord said, turning to the group of old people that were now marching towards them. Then he disappeared.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Hello."

"Yes, hello, we were wondering where you went. To get reinforcements, by the look of it," the Doctor called out as he, Rose, Amy, and Rory walked towards the group. "Are you alright? You look a bit tense."

"Doctor, I really think we should run," Rose suggested.

"Hello, Mr. Nainby," Rory offered as an elderly man walked towards him.

"Rory." Rose tried to pull him away.

"Mr. Nainby ran the sweetshop. He used to slip me the odd free toffee," he whispered to the Doctor. But then Mr. Nainby grabbed Rory by the top of his jacket. "Did I not say thank you?" He said, dumbly. With strength, too impressive and impossible for someone his age, Mr. Nainby lifted Rory off the group and threw him backwards. "How did he do that?" He screamed once he landed on his back.

Because he's not himself, I tried to warn you, it should've been obvious," Rose explained.

"We may have to run." The Doctor looked to at Amy's pregnant stomach. "And fast."

She grabbed her stomach and groaned, "Can't we just talk to them?"

They all turned to the elderly as they collectively opened their mouths, and eyeballs started slithering their way up their throats. The Doctor raised his sonic to examine them.

"There is an eye in her mouth," Amy gasped, disbelievingly.

"You can't honestly tell me that's the weirdest thing you've seen with the Doctor?" Rose furrowed her brows.

"Well, no, but it's still fairly creepy."

"Fair point."

"There's a whole creature inside each and every one of them," the Doctor concluded. "They've been there for years, living and waiting."

"For what?" Rose asked.

"I don't know."

"That is disgusting," Rory scoffed. "They're not going to be peeping out of anywhere else, are they?"

Then the eye inside Mrs. Poggit's mouth stretched out even farther, towards the group, and released a green spray. Amy screamed, and Rory pulled her backwards into his arms. The Doctor put one arm in front of Rose and pushed her behind him, keeping his hand on her wrist, much to her displeasure as she had worked for Torchwood in Pete's World, as a field leader nonetheless, and was capable of managing herself.

"Okay, okay, leave them, talk to me. Come on. You are Etnodeans, a proud, ancient race. You're better than this." Rory and Amy took off running, and the Doctor let go of Rose's wrist, nudging her mind to tell her to do the same. But she refused, and moved up beside him. _"Rose, go."_

 _"Fat chance."_ She could practically feel him mentally growling at her defiance. But she didn't care.

The Doctor continued his confrontation to the Etnodeans, "Why are you hiding away here? Why aren't you at home?"

"We were driven from our planet," the creature inside Mrs. Poggit used her body to speak for it. "By-"

"By upstart neighbors," The Doctor and Rose finished for her. The Doctor gave Rose a quick, confused and concerned look, eyebrows knitted and all, then turned back to the creatures.

"So we've-" started another one of the creatures.

"Been living here inside the bodies of old humans for years," The Doctor and Rose continued together, yet again.

 _"Stop that,"_ the Doctor tried to mentally chastise her, but gently. She kept silent, not wanting to have to try to explain herself anymore.

"No wonder they live so long," the Doctor said to the Etnodeans, eyeing them up and down. "You're keeping them alive."

"We were humbled and destroyed," the creature inside Mrs. Poggit continued. "Now we will do the same to others."

"Okay, makes sense, I suppose, credible enough." The Doctor started backing up, grabbing Rose's hand and pulling her along with him. "Could be real."

"Could be fake," Rose shot back.

"Could be."

"Morning," came a man who walked past with a bike, but the creature inside Mrs. Poggit reached outwards once more, straying out green mist and turning the man to dust.

"You need to leave this planet," the Doctor ordered the Etnodeans, angrily.

The creatures screeched, and Rose tugged the Doctor by the hand, pulling him along to run.

 

\-----

 

Amy and Rory were running down a path, past a gate and some ducks.

"Wait, stop!" Amy panted and groaned.

Rory turned, to see her bending forwards, clutching her stomach. He grabbed her, spotting the elderly bodies marching towards them, and he wrapped his arm around Amy's shoulders, pulling her along. "After all I've done for the over seventies in this village.."

"Shut up," Amy nearly yelled.

But as they continued on, they spotted another elderly woman.

"Okay, this is crazy. She loves me," Rory stated about the woman. "I fixed her depression. She's just a little old lady."

"Mrs. Hamill, we don't understand," Amy pleaded.

But then the body of Mrs. Hamill opened her mouth, admitting a screeching noise as an eye popped out from her mouth.

"I'll deal with this one, chubs," Rory said to Amy, who narrowed her eyes at him. "Now-" he moved in closer to the creature who screeched louder, the eyeball slithering farther out of her mouth, emitting green mist.

Rory and Amy jumped apart and away from the mist. The body of Mrs. Hamill walked towards Rory, but he picked up a piece of wood. "I can't hit her."

"Whack her!" Amy yelled at her husband.

Rory complied, smacking the creature with the wood, shattering it into multiple pieces. She crumpled to the group. Rory and Amy ran off as the creature started to get up.

 

\-----

 

Eventually, Amy and Rory made it back to their house. Panting, Amy plopped herself down on a staircase. Rory rushed in, locking the front door.

"Oh, god. We just ran, we abandoned the Doctor and Rose, and don't you dare ever call me chubs again." Amy pointed at Rory before holding onto her stomach again.

Rory rushed about to lock all the other doors and close all the windows.

"We don't see the Doctor for years and somehow we don't really connect anymore, and it's like I have memories of Rose, and yet at the same time I have no idea who she is. How can that even be possible? And then — then despite that, she and the Doctor take the bullet for us."

"Hey, they'll be fine. You know the Doctor. He's Mr. Cool. He can keep himself safe. And you heard Rose, first time they met they saved each other's lives. I'm sure they can take care of themselves and each other."

"Yeah, but who really is she? How can we be sure we can trust her?"

"Well, the Doctor obviously trusts her, or at least really cares for if. I mean, if he can leave her with some other version of himself or something, she must be worth trusting, right?"

"I guess."

"Besides, they're all we've got right now, so we have to trust them, whether we like it or not."

Amy took a deep breath, then sighed. "I guess if the Doctor trusts her, that's good enough for me. For now."

"Yeah."

 

\-----

 

As the Doctor and Rose were being chased by the Etnodeans, they ran hand-in-hand until they heard the birds. They started to sway side to side, stumbling over their own feet and each other, but still managed to keep a tight grip on each other. The Doctor spotted the door to a butcher's shop and attempted to drag Rose along and he headed inside. Upon opening the door, a little bell above it rang. And the birds stopped. Rose slammed the door shut, locking it and flipping the open/closed sign to 'closed.'

"Oh, I love a good butchers, don't you?" The Dream Lord appeared behind a counter. He wasn't wearing a suit this time. Rose and the Doctor turned, startled, but still kept hold of each other's hand, squeezing tightly now. "We've got to use these places or they'll shut down." The Doctor tugged Rose along in tow as he moved his way to a wall where a set of keys hung, and he took them, turning to a door that he tried to open. "Oh, but you're probably a vegetarian, aren't you? You big flop-haired wuss."

"I like his hair," Rose snapped at the Dream Lord.

"Oh, you would. The last him, he became a pretty boy, just for you. But you already knew that, didn't you? And then seeing you, just before he changed into this.. man child? He couldn't help himself, really. Of course he'd change into another pretty one, just for you, even without you there."

"Oh, pipe down, I'm busy," the Doctor shot back.

And then the birds.

"Maybe you need a little sleep," The Dream Lord said with a smile.

Rose and the Doctor started stumbling, falling to the ground.

"Oh, wait a moment, if you fall asleep here," Rose and the Doctor pulled themselves straight up. "Several dozen angry pensioners will destroy you.." Rose pulled the Doctor along, behind the counter, down a corridor. ".. with their horrible pie thingies." The Dream Lord said, pointing at his mouth. Not that anyone saw.

The chirping of the birds got louder and the Doctor and Rose released each other's hands to plug their ears. "Fingers in the ear — brilliant. What's next?" the Dream Lord asked as the Doctor and Rose started to fall to the floor once more. "Shouting 'boo!?'"

The Dream Lord turned to see the elderly waiting outside the shop window. "Come in! Come in!" He twirled his index finger, somehow undoing the door lock, and the creatures slowly made their way inside the shop. "Yes, we've got lots of steak here this week. Lots at stake — get it?"

The Doctor and Rose started up with a gasp.

"There jokes are really wasted on the two of you, honestly. It's almost rude."

They grabbed each other's hand and pulled each other up. The Doctor pulled Rose down the corridor until the birds got louder, and they both sunk to the floor once more. The Doctor tried to kick his feet about and flail his arms around and Rose's head slunk into the crook of his neck.

"Wait! Wait!" the Doctor pleaded.

"Oh. Oh, I can't watch." The Dream Lord pretended to cover his eyes, but looked out the side of his hands to, indeed, watch.

 

Grunting, the Doctor shook Rose and pulled her up with him. "Rose, come on, get up!" he nearly begged.

Rose looked behind them and saw a door. She tried the handle but it wouldn't budge. "Sonic it! Sonic it!"

The Doctor pulled out his sonic and opened the door, pushing Rose inside, then thrusting himself in, crashing into Rose. She grabbed his shoulders to steady him, and he reached back with his sonic to lock the door. He pulled the handle to make sure it was locked. It was.

Then the birds got even loader and the Doctor wrapped his arms bone crushingly tight around Rose and she linked her own around his neck. Together, they fell back to the ground, foreheads touching, brushing each other's last bit of consciousness as the creatures outside the room tried to pull the door open.

 

\-----

 

With Rose beside him as he woke up in the TARDIS, the Doctor pulled her head into his shoulder to tamp down the sounds of her expected screams. But he heard nothing.

"Rose?" He placed two fingers on her neck to feel for a pulse, and upon finding one, he sighed in relief and pulled her into a hug as he pulled them up into a sitting position.

"You didn't scream. Why didn't you scream? Not that I'm not glad you didn't, but-" Rory tried to ask.

"It's.. It's this… Mental connection thing, really complicated, can't explain it. Well, I can, but I'd rather not. You two get away alright back in Leadworth?" Rose rushed he words out quickly, pulling back slightly from the Doctor as she looked between Rory and Amy.

"It's colder! It's bloody colder!" Amy cried out, shivering.

_"Rose."_

_"James used to do that, too. Brush against my consciousness through our link as we went to sleep. It was the only way to keep me from screaming."_

_"You could have told me. I could have stopped all those screams earlier."_

_"I'm fine. It's fine."_

_"No, it's not and neither are you."_ The Doctor's mental voice wasn't accusing; only filled with guilt and sadness.

 _"Now, stop. We'll have none of that,"_ Rose gently reprimanded as she caressed the Doctor's mind with her own, trying to give him comfort, support, and maybe even a little bit of love. Not that either of them was sure they wanted to admit it. The Doctor eased up, but he still couldn't mask all that he was feeling in his face.

"Doctor, what do we do?" Amy asked.

"The four of us," he looked at his companions in turn, "Have to agree now which is the dream."

Rose buttoned up his tweed coat and then smoothes it out before wrapping her blanket more tightly around herself.

"It's this." Rory points to the floor. "Here."

"You could be right," Amy agreed. "The science is all wrong here. Burning ice."

"Yeah, okay, I can't disagree with you there. It isn't logical. But neither is the Etnodeans not taking any action, or at least not any dramatic thing of action, until now. it's not right, people would have noticed. I mean, five years, and nothing strange? At all? Neither of these makes any sense," Rose concluded.

The Doctor groaned in frustration. "We have to agree which battle to lose — All of us. Now."

"Okay, which world do you think is real?" asked Amy.

"This one." The Doctor pointed to the floor."

"No, the other one," Rory countered.

"You just said this one, not even fifteen seconds ago!" Rose lashed out. The Doctor gave her a quizzical look, but she ignored his stare and his nudge at her mind.

"Come on, we have to choose!" Amy cried.

The Doctor growled once more and looked at his watch before getting up. "Nine minutes till impact."

"What temperature is it?" Amy asked as she, Rory, and Rose stood up.

"Well, I don't really know, but I can't feel my feet and-" he shot a quick glance at Rose before looking up at the ceiling of the TARDIS awkwardly. "- other parts."

"I think all my parts are basically fine," Rory shot back in a clipped tone.

"Blimey, you can practically smell the testosterone," Rose muttered.

"Oi!" the two men yelled at her. She rolled her eyes.

"If the TARDIS was conscious, she'd be laughing so hard right now." Rose smiled at the console, chuckling a little herself.

"Oi!" The Doctor met Rose's eye as he looked at her, wounded.

"Come on, boys. Tuck your manhood back into your trousers, you can measure yourselves off later," Rose continued in her let's-get-down-to-business voice, only half seriously and causing Amy to laugh. "Right now, we need to find a way out of this mess.

Rory looked towards the console and picked up a telephone. "Can't we call for help or something?"

The Doctor took the phone from Rory. "Yeah, cause the universe is really quite small and there's bound to be someone nearby." Then he smacked Rory on top of his hooded head with the phone.

"Rude," Rose chimed in.

Walking over the a chair were Amy had stored a few ponchos she found earlier, she handed two to Rose. Putting one on herself, Amy took the last remaining one and walked over to Rory, putting it on him.

"Oh. A poncho," Rory said dryly, looking down at himself.

Rose looked at the Doctor who gave her a smirk as he raised one eyebrow. Rose pretended to sigh dramatically before walking over to him. He bend down to meet Rose's eye as she pulled the garment over this head. She ran her hands over his shoulders, smoothing the Poncho out, before patting his shoulders and squeezing gently. She let go as he twirled around, the ends of his poncho hitting Rose in the chest and she giggled as the Doctor stopped and smiled at her.

"The biggest crime against fashion since Lederhosen," Rory continued.

"Or since the Doctor," Rose chortled.

"Oi!" He frowned at her.

"I've seen the lettuce, Doctor." She pointed a finger at him.

Now he looked like a kicked puppy. "You promised you'd never mention that again!"

"Lettuce?" Amy asked.

Rose opened her mouth to start talking, but the Doctor quickly covered his mouth with her hand. She looked at him with raised eyebrows and the face he had once known as her 'I am not amused' face.

"Yeah? Well neither am I, Rose Tyler." He shook his head as he removed his hand from her mouth.

"Right. I thought you," Rory pointed at the Doctor, "Were weird and confusing enough all on your own, but this," he pointed between the Doctor and Rose, "Is just a whole new level of weird and confusing."

"And complicated. Which pretty much just sums us up." Rose looked to the Doctor.

"You know, now that I think about it, you still haven't explained who you are. Generally and to the Doctor. I mean, you've told us your name and how you met but that's really it. _And_ —" Rory pointed his finger again, stressing the word. "And — I thought the Dream Lord was only picking on the Doctor, but no, he's picking on you, too, isn't he? I saw the way you were at Sarn's. I thought you were just trying to pull your thoughts together, but you weren't, were you? You were scared. You know something, don't you? What aren't you telling us?"

Rose tightened her jaw and pressed her lips into a firm line as she breathed in deeply through her nose. Rory could swear he saw little flicks of gold emit from her eyes for a few seconds as well. Rose continued to stare him down. The TARDIS only seemed to get quicker as the moments kept on, and eventually Rory backed up, but he didn't back down from her stare.

"Who are you?" Rory asked slowly.

"That's not really what matters right now."

"Bad Wolf?" It wasn't entirely a question that came from Amy's mouth, but she still wondered. Also, seeing the look on the Doctor's face, she figured it would be best if she broke the tension before he got a chance to lash out.

"What?" Rose and the Doctor asked in unison.

Amy pointed at Rose's red poncho. "Down there, at the bottom of your poncho. It says 'BAD WOLF' in gold. That's not the first time we've heard about a wolf today," at that, she momentarily paused, her lips forming a slight frown and her eyebrows pinching together. "Doctor, why do we keep hearing about a wolf?"

"You're right." Rory nods a few times at Amy before turning back to Rose. "Earlier in the TARDIS, the Dream Lord asked you 'who's afraid of the big bad wolf?' then in the old people's home, he called you 'Wolf Tyler.' It can't just be some weird coincidence, so what does it mean? Come on. Tell us."

"Rory." The Doctor warned in a low voice.

"No, Doctor. No. Don't start with the whole 'leave her alone' thing again. I'm not having it. Now. What. Does. It. Mean?"

"It means I'm supposed to be here," Rose snapped loudly, her eyes started to faintly glow gold, but not enough for anyone to pay much mind to.

"And what's that mean, then? How can you be so sure?"

"The Doctor's got more than one name, yeah?" Rose started slipping back into her old speech habit a little. Usually happened whenever she got really angry. "He's not just, 'the Doctor.' S'just a title, isn't it? He's got more names than that. And so do I."

"So, what?" Amy asked. "It's just some sort of nickname, Bad Wolf? And he's what, trying to use it to tease you or something?"

"It's a message," Rose replied coldly.

"A message? You said it was a name. How can it be a message and a name?" Rory asked lamely.

"It just is."

"Then what's it mean?"

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" The Doctor yelled, throwing his arms into the air above his head before grabbing onto his hair.

"THEN TELL US WHEN IT MEANS!" Rory screamed back.

"IT'S JUST A BLOODY FUCKING MESSAGE FOR ME AND THE DOCTOR, OKAY?" Rose nearly spat in Rory's face. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breathe and rubbed her temples. "That's it. Just a message spread out through time and space so when the Doctor's at his worst, he knows I'll find my way back to him." She opened her eyes and looked at Rory with eyes that looked almost as sad and old as the Doctor's.

"What does that even mean? Rory asked, even more confused.

"It means that a long time ago, I did something dangerous to save the Doctor and it came with a price. Two, actually. One was the Doctor. And the other was me."

"What's so special about you, then?" She didn't mean it rudely, they all knew that. But Amy needed to know, and if she didn't ask now, she may never be able to again and get an answer.

"Everything," the Doctor responded without hesitation, looking at Rose, his eyes sadder and older than Amy had ever seen. They were filled with so much longing.

Rose chanced a look at the Doctor, and immediately let out a strangled whine from her throat. She didn't mean to, but at least it was too quiet for Amy and Rory to hear. But of course the Doctor heard. She forced herself to look away, to the window, at the burning cold sun.

"We don't have the time to talk about this now, we're in trouble," Rose slowly stated.

"Only if we fall asleep," the Doctor reminded.

"We're gonna die," Rory said flatly.

"No, we're gonna die looking like a Peruvian folk band," chimed in Amy. Then she looked at Rose. "And Red Riding Hood."

"We are not going to die, but we are running out of time," the Doctor said, checking his watch. "If we fall asleep here, we're in trouble." He ran his hands over his face then turned to his companions, pointing at them all in turn. "If we could divide up," he started pacing about the console, running his hands through his hair, down his face, and pointing randomly. "Then we'd have an active presence in each world, but the dream will be switching us between the worlds. Why? Why? What's the logic?"

The Dream Lord appeared behind the Doctor, sporting a blue poncho, and mimicking the Doctor's movements. "Good idea, veggie. Let's divide you four up. So I can have a little chat with our lovely ladies." He pointed towards Amy and Rose, causing the Doctor to stop his pacing and turn to the Dream Lord, who in turn, turned to him. "Maybe I'll keep them here and you can have pointy nose to yourself," He nodded towards Rory. "For all eternity, should you manage to clamber aboard some sort of reality."

Then the birds. But not everyone heard them.

"Can you hear that?" Rory asked Amy.

_"Rose?"_

_"I think it's only you two."_ The Doctor could feel Rose's remorse and desperation and he wanted to comfort her, just as she wanted to comfort him, but neither of them were sure how.

"I don't hear anything," Amy said to Rory.

Feeling Rose's distress, he reached out to caress her mind in comfort. _"Don't be scared, Rose Tyler. Can you do that for me?"_

_"Doctor-"_

_"You'll find me."_

_"What if I don't?"_

_"Then I'll find you."_

Rose looked up at the Doctor, making eye contact, though her eyes burned with tears she wouldn't shed, and nodded curtly.

Still keeping his eyes on Rose, the Doctor addressed Amy, "Don't be scared, Amelia. Go on, Rory, tell her she shouldn't be scared."

Rory took Amy's hand in both of his and squeezed it tight before kissing her knuckles. Then he looked to Amy. "Don't be scared. I promise everything will be alright as long as you promise to not be scared."

"I promise," Amy whispered, but her voice was high pitched.

"Girls," the Doctor looked between Amy and Rose. "We'll be back."

And then the two men dropped to the ground and Rose felt the Doctor's mental caress slip from her mind.


	6. Tell Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's give Amy a quick review of what broke all our hearts in season 1, season 2, and "Journey's End." Let's also start to wonder whose choice it is, anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know when the Dream Lord originally pulls Amy aside in "Amy's Choice," he gives her a few moments/minutes alone after he finally disappears so that she has some time to think. BUT, given the circumstances that I create for this story, I'm going to have the birds chirp immediately because I can't have Amy knowing too much too soon. All mistakes are my own. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, its characters, or any of the transcript from "Amy's Choice" nor do I own the episode, itself.

“My lovely ladies,” The Dream Lord clasped his hands together. “We are going to have so much fun.”

“Are we?” Rose stared him down intently, eyes starting to glow.

“That whole routine may make the Doctor drop to his knees, but not me. I’m not afraid of the big bad wolf.”

A slow smile crept across Rose’s face and her eyes shined even brighter. “Good.”

The Dream Lord’s face dropped, but he still kept his eyes trained on Rose. Amy’s own eyes widened and she backed up until her ankles hit the stairs and she sat herself down, afraid if she stood much longer, she may just fall.

Then the Dream Lord disappeared.

________________________

Rory woke with a start, gasping as he pulled back from his slumped over position on Amy’s stomach.

From another room, he could hear the smashing and breaking of glass. Pushing himself up, he quickly made his way the front room to see the Etnodean’s breaking their way into the house.

Climbing over Amy on the stairs, he got behind her, hooked his arms under her armpits, and pulled her up the stairs, one step at a time. With each step, Amy would made a thunking noise, but she didn’t stir or wake. And every time Rory dropped her onto the next step, he would always mutter an apology even though she wouldn’t be able to hear him.

__________________________

Eventually, Rory made his way up to the nursery that would belong to their unborn child. He lay Amy down on the floor, her head hitting the ground with a soft thump, and once again he apologized, still knowing she couldn’t hear him. Once she was down, Rory looked to his sleeping wife, then to the crib that they had prepared for their unborn child. Choking back tears, Rory walked towards it, grabbing opposite ends of the wood, and leaning on it for support. He jiggled the mobile hanging above it, emitting a small tinkling sound, along with a crash from outside.

Standing up, Rory chanced a look out and window to see some of the elderly attacking the TARDIS, while two others carried a large plank of wood alongside the house.

Taking a deep breath, the letting it out shakily, Rory turned back to the room, looking around frantically until his eyes rested on a small wooden chair. In two long strides, he made his way to the chair, picking it up and bringing it to the door, angling it under the door handle so that it would, at the very least, keep the door ajar. He hesitated for a moment before sitting himself onto the chair, running his hands nervously up and down his thighs, then bringing them together between his thighs, pushing them tightly together as he bounced his legs up and down anxiously.

_________________________

The Doctor woke up in the closet of the butcher’s shop with Rose Tyler on top of him.

“Well, this certainly brings back memories.” He said to himself.

He couldn’t feel Rose’s consciousness in his head, so he tried to reach out, only finding the smallest flicker, but he caressed it entirely, nonetheless. Sighing, he rolled Rose over onto her side and then pulled himself up.

“Alright, think. How am I going to get out of here and with Rose.” He started talking to himself. That usually helped. Talking. To himself. “Right. We could always stay in here, wait till she wakes up. But they might get in by then. And Rory probably needs help with Amy.” He was pacing about the small space, running one hand through his hair as the other flung about, loosing holding his sonic- SONIC. That’s it! But what about Rose.. He couldn't just leave her here. He refuses to let her out of his sight.

“Oh, she is going to kill me.. Again.” He said aloud, his face pulling into a pout.

Outside the door, the Doctor could hear the Etnodeans screeching and he knew he had to act fast. So he bent down, and pulled Rose up and over his shoulder. 

He stood ready at the door, sonic is hand and he pressed a button on it a few times, trying to locate the nearest light. Once located, he hesitated a few seconds before opening the door. He only reached the hand holding the sonic out of the door as he pressed the button once more, causing the light above the creatures to spark and die out. This caused the creatures to shutter and creep back into their human shells. 

Quickly, the Doctor pushed his way out of the closet, past the Etnodeans, and out of the butcher’s shop. Even with Rose’s added weight to his shoulder, he still ran as fast as he could. 

His arm was wrapped tightly around her waist and his hand gripped firmly into her hip. She was most likely forming bruises already, but what’s a couple bruises compared to death?

Although, if all of this is just a dream, once the Doctor wakes up, Rose may be gone. So either way, it really wouldn't matter. 

Right?

________________________

After making it down a few streets, the Doctor heard someone crying out for help. Stopping in his place, he looked around until he saw an old man attacking a young man in a camper van.

“Oh, you couldn’t live near the shops, could you?” He yelled out of frustration, holding on tighter to Rose as he sprinted his way down the road and towards the camper van, the young man inside still screaming.

Upon reaching the van, the Doctor used his free hand to push the old man to the ground and then opened the driver side door and pushed Rose inside as the young man inside moved to the backseats. 

“It’s okay, it’s only us. Now help me get her in.” The young man complied, helping the Doctor rush Rose into the passenger’s seat as the Doctor piled into the driver’s seat and sped off. 

“Buckle her up, I want her safe.” Again, the young man followed the Doctor’s orders.

As the Doctor sped down the road, he spotted some young people being attacked by the Etnodeans. The young man in the back of the camper opened the door and motioned for the people outside to join them. 

“Get in, get in, get in! Quickly, over here!” And two young women jumped inside. Once safely inside, the young man slammed the door shut.

“Are we in?” The Doctor called out. 

But then he saw a young family being assaulted by more elderlies. “Come on, let’s go!” He ordered, stopping the vehicle as the young man in back opened the door once more. “Quickly! In here! All four, quick!” They started to make their way inside with help of the people already in back. “That’s it, quickly. Everyone, in. That’s it.” The Doctor tried to encourage them.

The moment the Doctor heard the door click shut, he step hard on the gas peddle and took off once more, the tires screeching.

____________________________

After the Dream Lord had disappeared, Rose sat herself down in one of the seats surrounding the console. She didn’t look at Amy, but she knew Amy was looking at her.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“What just happened?” Amy’s voice was laced with fear and it nearly made Rose’s heart sink.

“I didn’t mean for you to see that.” Rose gave a dry laugh and a weak smile. “Seems to be the quote of the day.” Her face pulled into a grimace. She inhaled and exhaled through her nose loudly and closed her eyes.

“So, are you going to explain it to me, or what?”

“Yeah, just.. Just gimme a mo. Not really the easiest thing in the universe to explain, you know?” Rose licked her lower lips before pulling it into her mouth, biting it lightly. She thought for a few moments before opening her mouth to talk, but then the Dream Lord appeared.

“You poor girls. He always leave you, doesn’t he?” Rose opened her eyes, but she fixed her gaze onto her lap. “It was always you coming back for him, wasn’t it?” He asked Rose, she knew that, but she still refused to look up. “And you,” He turned to Amy. “You’re always just left alone. All alone in the dark. He never apologizes to anyone, does he?”

“He doesn’t have to,” Amy defended her friend and then got up to walk away from the Dream Lord.

“That’s good because he never will. It only took him splitting in two and becoming half human to even try to get Rose to forgive him for even the smallest of things. Isn’t that right? Come on, you can tell us the truth. You’ll probably be dead soon, anyways.”

“Rose, what’s he talking about?” Amy turned to look at Rose who finally looked up.

“You remember me and the Doctor talking about a ‘meta-crisis him?’” Amy nodded. “Well that’s what we meant. I was stuck in a parallel universe, like we said. But then I came back because every universe was in danger of dying. You remember that time when all the stars were going out?” Amy nodded again. “Yeah, well we stopped it. Saved everyone. Me, the Doctor, a lot of our friends.. Even my mum-“

“What’s any of that got to do with a half human Doctor?”

“Right, well, the Doctor can do this.. thing.. where instead of dying, he changes every cell in his body. He literally becomes a new person.. different face, body, personality, all that.. I told you I did something dangerous with the price of me and the Doctor. Well, the Doctor’s price was changing.. Regeneration, it’s called.. And then a few hours later, one of his hands got cut off. Another grew in its place. Sort of freaked me out at first. Still sort of does. But, uh, a friend of ours found the hand that got cut off and kept it in a jar.. When I came back to stop the stars from going out, the Doctor already had the hand back, still in a jar. But then he got shot by a Dalek. Should’ve regenerated. But the energy that goes into the regeneration, he put it all into his jarred hand. Still not really sure how that worked, after all the times he’s tried to explain it to me. But, uh.. Then a friend of his.. a human, touched the hand and suddenly a second Doctor grew from it.. Human body, but Time Lord brain. Still him. All the same thoughts, memories.. Feelings.”

“Meaning-“

“Meaning, unlike this Doctor, he wouldn’t regenerate, he would grow old just like a normal human, and die like one, too.. After we.. Well, after the stars were saved, the Doctors started returning everyone home.. Including me.. But I didn’t expect it. I was ready to go back to traveling with him. But he, uh.. He left me, my mum, and the meta-crisis, James, as we called him.. He left us all back in the parallel world. Said James was too dangerous. That he needed me. Bloody idiot, this Doctor needed me, too. But you’ve seen how stubborn he is.” 

Rose’s eyes were squeezed shut toward the end of her story, trying to hold back all her tears, but some slipped through and she ran her hands over her face to wipe them away before clearing her throat, opening her eyes, and looking about the TARDIS.

They sat in silence, even the Dream Lord. Then Amy spoke up. “What happened to him? To James?”

Rose drew in a shaky breath before meeting Amy’s eye. “What he said he'd do. He grew old.”

Amy furrowed her brows. “But what does that mean?”

“Really, that was touching. I’m very moved. Well, I would be, if I had any real emotional care.” The Dream Lord finally spoke up. "Or probably not."

“What do you want?” Amy asked.

“The real question is,” The Dream Lord disappeared from the stairs and reappeared, lounging in a chair. “What do the two of you want?”

“Who are you?” Amy demanded. “The Doctor knows you, but he’s not telling me who you are. And he always does. It takes him a while sometimes, but he tells me.” She stepped closer to the Dream Lord, trying to invade his personal space in a threatening manner. “So you’ve got to be something different.”

“Oh, is that who you think you are? The one he trusts?” The Dream Lord turns his head towards Rose. “Get a load of this, Wolfie, she thinks she’s important!”

“The Doctor only takes the best.” Rose shot back.

“A shop girl with no A-levels, an emotionally disturbed kiss-o-gram, and her overly insecure nurse boyfriend? Now does that really sound like ‘the best’ to you?”

“I am very important, thank you very much.” Amy was getting offended.

“You think you’re the only girl in the universe,” The Dream Lord stood up to challenge the redhead. “To whom the Doctor tells everything?”

“Well he’s told me about Rose. Don’t remember when, but I know he did.. At one point.. Mentioned her.”

“You don’t even know a thing about her.”

“But I know about the Doctor.”

“What’s his name?” The Dream Lord disappears then reappears next to Rose, one arm resting behind her neck on the back of her chair. “She knows.” He says, looking down at Rose. “Truthfully, I wouldn’t be surprised if she knew who I was. Probably peaked around in that mind of his. Or maybe ‘no A-levels’ here was smart enough to figure it out on her own. Those would certainly be surprises, now would’t they?”

Then he disappeared again and reappeared, crouching down between both the Doctor and Rory. He looked up at Amy. “Now, tell me. Would you really give up the handsome hero you ran away with? And for what? A bumbling country doctor who thinks the only thing he needs to be interesting is a ponytail? And what about you?” He turned once more to Rose. “How long are you going to run? Until you die? Because I’ll tell you this; you won’t.”

“Stop it.” Amy shook her head.

The Dream Lord looked back down at the Doctor and Rory. “Well, maybe it’s better than loving and losing the Doctor.” Neither of the girls could tell who he was directing his opinion to. But either way, it was something that Rose knew all too well. “Pick a world and this nightmare will all be over. They’ll listen to the two of you. It’s the two of you they’re waiting for.” The Dream Lord looked up at the two women in turn. “Two men. One choice.”

And he disappeared, leaving the chirping of the birds in his wake.


	7. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's have a few blasts from the pasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, it's characters, the transcript nor the episode of "Amy's Choice."

_Too many years ago in Pete's world_

"You might find your way back to him one day. You always do."

"Me, or Bad Wolf?"

"Rose."

"It's not possible, James."

"You always were an ambitious one, love. You'll always find your way back."

"But what if I don't want to?"

"But you will. I know you will. It's small, but I can feel it."

"James."

"I love you. _All_ of _me_ loves _you_."

__________________

_A year ago in Leadworth_

"Let's have a baby. I know you're just in the final editing stages in your book and my hours are getting a bit wobbly, but-"

"Okay."

"What?"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. Let's have a baby."

_________________

_Three or four or who the bloody hell knows how many weeks ago on the TARDIS_

"I know some of the doors on here are gorgeous, but _that_ is _gorgeous_."

"It looks like a rose. The entire door looks like one big, giant rose."

"Maybe it leads to a rose garden."

"Well wherever it leads to, it must be the the Doctor's favorite."

"Or maybe the TARDIS's."

"Oh! Amelia, Rory, hello. How'd you get down here?"

"Dunno, we just.. Did."

"She always does this, every bloody compani- oh, I'm going to have to have a talk with the TARDIS later.. That's right, you heard me, we're having a talk.. Now, don't act like that."

"Doctor, you're doing it again."

"I'm very well aware that I'm doing it again."

"So where does the door lead to then?"

"It's locked, why's it locked?"

"Because I locked it."

"Why'd you lock it?"

"Because only I'm allowed in."

"Why?"

"Because I am."

"Doctor."

"It belonged to someone. A.. friend, of sorts.. of.. mine. Mine."

"What was her name?"

"What makes you think the room belonged to a she?"

"Well, what was her name, then?"

"... Rose Tyler. Now come along, there's a room made of unpopable balloons I want you to see."

"I don't think unpopable's a word."

"Of course it's a word, anything can be a word, maybe it's a word on a planet that's not Earth, ever consider that, Rory? No, I didn't think so, now come along."


	8. If I Disappear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's make some choices!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, its characters, the episode, "Amy's Choice," or its transcript.

The Doctor jumped out of the camper van and pulled the back door open.

“Everybody out, out, out!”

Quickly, everyone stumbled out.

“Into the church! That’s right. Don’t answer the door!”

Once everyone was out of the van, the Doctor got back into the driver’s seat and stole a quick glance at Rose. He pushed a stray lock of hair back behind her ear and allowed himself a few seconds to take in the sight of his long lost Rose. Taking a deep breath, he started up the camper and drove off at full speed.

He drove in silence for a few minutes before the Dream Lord appeared in the back seat, wearing a race car driver suit and holding a helmet.

“It’s ‘make your mind up time’ in both worlds.”

“Fine. I need to find the rest of my friends.”

“Is that really all Rose Tyler is to you? A ‘friend?’ Well, I guess that answer doesn’t need saying. You sure didn’t seem to think so. Not back on that beach. ” The Doctor visibly flinched. “And for your so called ‘friends,’ is that really the right word for the people you acquire? Friends are people you stay in touch with. Your friends never see you again once they’re grown up. The old man prefers the company of the young, does he not? Although…” The Dream Lord looked to Rose, studying her, letting the rest of his sentence die out. “But maybe that’s why you aren’t seeking any answers from your precious flower.”

The Doctor stays silent, but meets the Dream Lord’s eye for a moment through the rearview mirror.

___________________________

 

Eventually, the Doctor pulled up the Rory and Amy’s house, where over a dozen Etnodeans are outside, trying to break in.

He turns off the engine, unbuckles himself and Rose, opens his door, and starts to pull her out. He drags her body along and eventually gets her up and over his shoulder.

“Doctor, why am I starin’ at your bum?” Rose gave his arse a smack.

“WHAT?” He yelped.

“You know, for such a skinny thing, you really are quite strong.”

The Doctor pulls Rose forward and helps her to her feet. “You almost sound like Donna.”

“You almost sound like James.”

The Doctor regarded Rose for a moment before pulling her into a tight hug. 

“Doctor, why didn’t I wake up screaming?” She asked as the pulled apart, still keeping their arms around each other.

“I may have..” He cleared his throat and rushed out the rest of his sentence in a single breath. “Caressed the smallest bit of your consciousness you had left while you were asleep because I was maybe a little bit scared.”

And then she gave him that signature smile he hadn’t truly seen in years. The one he dreamed about nearly every night. Rose Tyler smiled at the Doctor with that special grin reserved only for him, the one with her tongue between her teeth. It was the single most beautiful thing he had seen in a long time. She kissed him on the cheek  
____________________________

Up in the nursery, Rory sits in the ground with Amy’s head in his lap. They’ve been in this position for a while now, with Amy still unconscious. But then she wakes up, panting and squirming, immediately pulling herself up into a sitting position and looking frantically about the room.

“How did I get up here?”

“I carried you.” Rory stated matter-of-factly. “I’m afraid you may experience some bruising-”

“Where’s the Doctor?” Amy interjected.

“I don’t know.” Rory hesitated for a second. “I want to do something for you.” He turned around, grabbing a small pouch that he unzips. He pulls something out then zips the pouch back up, casting it aside.

He turned back to Amy and held out a pair of scissors. He breathed heavily as he hesitated, but then he closed his eyes and grabbed his pony tail with his free hand.

Amy let out a strangled cry and she covered her mouth with her hand to stop any more.

And then it happened. Rory cut off the ponytail.

He opened his eyes and looked at Amy, desperation in his pleading eyes.

Amy lowered her hand to her chest. “I was starting to like it.”

Before Rory could respond, they heard someone come through the window.

“Oi! Hands off the bum!” Rose called out.

“Well, it’s only fair. You got to touch mine, now I get to touch yours.” The Doctor shot back as Rose grabbed his hands and helped pull him through the window. The both tumbled to the ground, half on top of each other. But they didn’t do anything about it, other than turning their heads towards the Ponds.

Rose made eye contact with Amy and nodded in regards to the young woman. Not knowing what else to do or say, she nodded in return and looked away.

“Sorry. Had to stop for the butcher’s.” The Doctor joked.

“What are we going to do?” Rory asked.

“I don’t know.” The Doctor breathed out. “I thought the freezing TARDIS was real, but now I’m not so sure.”

Amy lurched forwards, clutching her stomach. “Oh. I think the baby’s starting.”

“Honestly?” Rory asked, as the Doctor and Rose got up and onto their knees

“Would I make it up at a time like this?” Amy hissed, raising her voice.

“Well, you do have a history of…” Amy glared at Rory. “… Being very lovely.”

Amy cried out, lurching forward even more and the Doctor put an arm around her shoulders.

Rose moved towards Amy and placed her palms flat against her stomach. “Amy breathe. It’s not happening yet.” The clattering outside got louder. “Boys, secure the windows!”

“Why are they so desperate to kill us?” Rory yelled as he and the Doctor got up.

“They’re scared. Fear generates savagery.” The Doctor responded quietly and he are Rory took their separate positions at each window.

“Amy, I’m so sorry, but I’m going to have to do this.” Rose whispered quietly to Amy as she put her fingers on Amy’s temples. 

James, along with people and aliens Rose had met through Torchwood, Rose had been taught many telepathic tricks over the years. She knew how to force her way into someone’s mind, how to comfort someone’s mind, and many other things, including caressing the mind of another to help them dull mental and physical pain without having to actually go into their minds, meaning she wouldn’t have to see anything inside Amy’s head.

Amy took a deep breath and her eyes widened as she stared at Rose, her mouth hanging wide open.

“I’ll explain it later, but you have to keep quiet for now. Please. For me. Just let me help with the pain, okay? Please.” Rose whispered low enough so that only Amy could hear. She looked sad, but closed her mouth and nodded anyways, letting some of her pain seep away.

A crash came through one of the windows as something was thrown through the glass. It landed on the floor and Rose pulled away from Amy, putting one arm in front of the young woman, keeping her away from the danger.

Rory crept over to look through the window were Mrs. Poggit was waiting, the Etnodean hanging out of her mouth, and it sprayed its green mist at Rory, causing him to stumble backwards, falling to the ground.

“RORY!” Amy yelled out, pushing Rose’s arm aside and rushing over to Rory.

The Doctor rushed over to the window, grabbing a small lamp off a little table, and used it to push Mrs. Poggit away from the window and back onto the ground. By the time he turned around, Amy was already at Rory’s side, both sitting on the ground. Amy was trying to hold onto Rory but he was too panicked to grab back.

“No! I’m not ready!” He cried, shaking. Looking to Amy, he was able to still himself. They met eye-to-eye as he started turning to dust. 

The Doctor ran one hand down his face, placing the other on Rose’s shoulder. She placed one of her own on top of his and placed the other over her chest.

“Look after our baby.” Rory pleaded softly to Amy before dissolving into a pile of dust.

Amy backed away slowly, but she didn’t stand. “No. No.” She shook her head disbelievingly. “Come back.” She whispered, but Rose and the Doctor heard her. 

Once Rory was no more, Amy looked to Rose, who took in a deep breath through her nose, her lips pressed tightly together in a firm line. Unable to get a response, Amy looked to the Doctor. 

“Save him.” She was rocking back and forth on her knees. “You save everyone. You always do. It’s what you do.”

“Not always.” The Doctor was quiet, his voice threaded with guilt and Rose attempted to squeeze his hand ever to slightly. “I’m sorry.”

Everyone stayed in place for a few moments, letting silence fill the room as both Rose and the Doctor continued to look at Amy, who was still rocking back and forth and looking at the Doctor.

“Then what is the point of you?” Amy spat out. 

Rose could feel the Doctor’s hand twitch and she tried to squeeze again as he pulled away. He stopped, letting her squeeze, but then took his hand away and dropped it to his side.

“Amy.” Rose’s voice was so soft, she was almost surprised Amy heard her. “I’ve lost the love of my life - enough time now. I know it hurts. But I promise you, we will get him back.” 

She raised a finger up to her temple, taping it once and nodding, thinking somehow the gesture might ease the girl back a touch. Rose wasn’t even sure what she meant by doing so, but for some reason it felt like what she had just done was exactly the right thing. She especially felt this was Amy nodded back and looked down towards the pile of dirt that was once her lover, grabbing some of the dust and letting it sip through her fingers. Once all the dust had returned to the pile, she reached her hand up to grab onto a dresser. Rose pulled herself up before rushing to Amy’s side and helping to pull her upright. The Doctor started to walk towards them, but Amy backed away. 

“No.”

Rose let go of Amy and stepped back towards the Doctor, distancing him from Amy.

“This is the dream. Definitely this one.” The Doctor and Rose stared at the young woman in front of them as she took a few steps forwards, not once taking her eyes away from the Doctor. “If we die here, we wake up, yeah?”

He tried to say, ‘yeah,’ but was only able to mouth the word, letting out a puff of air, and a few nods. The Doctor looked at Rose for a second, then back at Amy. “Unless we just die.”

“Either way this is my only chance of seeing him again. This is the dream.”

“How do you know?”

Amy laughed sadly and quietly. It nearly broke both Rose and the Doctor’s hearts.

“Because it this is real life, _I don’t want it._ I don’t want it.”

The Doctor looked down as Amy walked past him and towards the door to the hallway. He chanced a look at Rose, who chanced a look at him; both their expressions reviling their true emotions.

_Rose-_

_We need to follow her-_

_Rose-_

Rose raised her hands to her ears as if to say she wasn’t listening, and so the Doctor stopped. Rose could have easily put up her shields, cutting the Doctor off directly, but they both knew that if this was truly it, if they were truly going to either die or wake up; they’d at least want to spend their last moments mentally connected.

___________________________

Amy shoved the front door open and rushed her way outside. Rose and the Doctor ran out after her.

“WHY AREN'T THEY ATTACKING?!” Amy screamed as she looked around at all the Etnodeans who only stood, watching the three of them.

“Either because this is just a dream-“ The Doctor started

“Or because they know what we’re about to do,” Rose finished.

Amy made her way to the front of the camper van and turned to face the Doctor, hand extended out, before she reached the driver’s side. Both the Amy and the Doctor stared each other down, breathing heavily through their noses in attempts to hold back their emotions.

The Doctor sighed, “You’re very sure.. This could be the real world.” It wasn’t a question.

“It can’t be,” Amy shook her head. “Rory isn’t here. I didn’t know — I honestly didn’t until right now.” She made a pleading look a Rose who nodded and looked back with understanding. Amy looked up at the Doctor, holding his eye for a moment before lowering her voice. “I just want him.”

“Okay.” The Doctor whispered with a nod, handing Amy the keys to the van. Then he grabbed Rose’s hand, placing it on top of Amy’s, then he places both of his own over their joined hands. “Okay.” He then lifted their hands, kissing the back of Amy’s, and the knuckles of Rose’s, letting his lips linger on hers for an extra second before letting go. 

Immediately, Amy rushed to the driver’s seat, getting in, as Rose and the Doctor rushed to the opposite side of the van. They stopped as they came face-to-face with the Dream Lord show as wearing a suit, tie, and hat. He looked them in the eyes in turn, and Rose took off his hat, placing it on her own head, before walking behind him and pulling the back door open. She looked up at the Doctor, who was already looking at her. They both swallowed and nodded before getting into the camper; the Doctor in the passenger seat, and Rose in the seat behind him.

“I love Rory. And I never told him,” Amy looked at them as they sat down. “And now he’s gone.”

Amy put the camper into ‘drive’ and the Doctor put one arm behind him, hoping for Rose to take his hand.

She did.

Of course she did.

She always did.

And she always would.

If only she always could.

_I was wrong, Rose Tyler._

_Doctor-_

_It does need saying._

Amy crashed the camper van into the front of the house.

Everything went black.


	9. Interlude 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another interlude!! Let's hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or its characters.

Imagine that it is mid-winter and you are out on a frozen lake, but you fall through. Don’t imagine the moment your body’s survival instincts kick in. Imagine the exact moment before that; the moment you make full on contact with the water. It’s not that you are cold, it is that you are completely sustained in eternal lose of feeling in your body and mind. When Amy and Rory wake up on the TARDIS, that is what they feel. Or, well, don’t feel. Now imagine that moment where your body’s survival instincts kick in and your body feels like it’s been drenched in fuel, that you have also swallowed a whole gas station, and someone had now struck a match. You are on fire, inside and out. Burning. Dying. Already dead yet so painstakingly alive. That is what the Doctor felt the second he woke up. He felt that the second he woke up because that was all he felt, nothing else. No one else.


	10. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's start to figure out whose dreams they were, or are, anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, usually the italics indicate the Doctor and Rose communicating telepathically, but for this chapter, italics will represent both that AND flashbacks to earlier chapters. All mistakes are my own. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, its characters, or any of the transcript from "Amy's Choice" nor do I own the episode, itself.

_The Doctor sighed, "You’re very sure.. This could be the real world.” Is wasn’t a question._

_”It can’t be,” Amy shook her head. “Rory isn’t here.”_

___________________________

The Doctor could have chocked on the irony. He could have also broken into a chilling manic laugh. He could have. But he felt too deadpan to even think. He did not want to open his eyes. Opening his eyes would only make it real. Real. So this is it. This is the real world. Amy was right, Leadworth was only a dream. But of course she was right, his companions often are. He only takes the best.

There were many questions that shoved their way to the front of the Doctor’s mind; the main one being: whose dream was it?

He opened his eyes and swallowed at the sight of the TARDIS floor- empty, with nothing but ice crystals left in Rose’s absence.

___________________________

_“But it could be yours,” Rory starred down the Doctor. “You know us, you know her, you probably want her here. I’ve heard that name before, Rose Tyler-“_

It was his dream.

_“Because once we wake up, and I mean really wake up, you’ll be gone again and it won’t…” Both their faces dropped completely, emotionless masks gone entirely._

_“Matter?” It wasn’t really a question._

___________________________

Of course it was his dream. How could it not be? His friends happy? His Rose- not his Rose. Or was sh- doesn’t matte- whatever. Point of the matter, it was his dream. Even a human could create a dream, it’s like that twenty-first century movie, ‘Inception.’ But to create two and with no flaws? Had to be his, what with that Time Lord brain and all. But now was not a time for bragging. Now was a time to ask and answer questions. Such as that of the nature of the Dream Lord. 

___________________________

_“Drop it. Drop all of it. I know who you are.” The Doctor said, forcing the Dream Lord to break from his stare down from Rose._

_“Of course you don’t.”_

_“Of course I do. No idea how you can be here, but there’s only one person in this universe who hates me as much as you do.” The Doctor ended with a smile, at which the Dream Lord smiled back._

_knew exactly who he was talking about. The Doctor could feel it and nudged her consciousness to confirm her assumption. He could feel her sorrow, though she tried to hide it. She wanted to immediately draw up her walls, and the Doctor knew it, but she kept them down in support._

___________________________

The Dream Lord was him. Only he hates himself that much. But how? How could the Dream Lord be him?

Before the Doctor could consider any answers, the Dream Lord appeared. But how? Unless…

“So you chose this world. Well done. You got it right,” he was standing, facing the console. “And with only seconds left. Let’s warm you up.”

The Dream Lord reached for the controls, flipping a few switches until the power came back up, the faint hum of the TARDIS surfacing more clearly in the back of the Doctor’s mind. He could also feel the TARDIS pulling away from the cold star.

“I hope you enjoyed your little fictions. It all came out of your imagination, I’ll leave you to ponder on that,” he words started to slow as he paced the console. “I have been defeated. I shall withdraw. Farewell.”

The Dream Lord stood for a few seconds, staring at the Doctor before disappearing.

Now that… That..

He can’t be here.

___________________________

_“Rose, you can’t be here.” The Doctor said, purposely avoiding Rory’s question._

_“Now you’re definitely being rude.” Amy smacked his shoulder but he didn’t flinch, but he turned to her. _/__

_“No, I mean she really can’t be here.”_

___________________________

If the Dream Lord is, or, well, was, here… That can only mean one thing.

They’re still dreaming.

A Lord of Dreams, a formless figure in reality, can only be in and take form in a dream.

This actually also mean two more things. First, he’s going to have to kill them all in this dream, too. It would be the only way to truly get back to reality. But.. Two, Rose is still here. But where?

He felt a sharp hum from the TARDIS to nudge him from his thoughts.

_What? What is it? She’s here, isn’t she?_

The TARDIS hummed softly and the light leading down the corridor at the top of the stairs shone brighter. The Doctor took off running. Well.. Hobbling, seeing as those most of his joints were still numb from the cold.

___________________________

When Rose woke up, she was, once more, in her bedroom on the TARDIS. She also hadn’t screamed, but she couldn’t feel the Doctor in her head. She had no idea how she could have gotten there, but she did. Which could only mean they’re still dreaming. She was completely frozen, covered in crystals of ice and had to slowly force herself up. By the time she got to her feet, hunched over slightly with the weight of the ice and cold dragging her stiff limbs downwards, the lights turned on and the hum she had always recognized as the TARDIS, pulled to the front of her mind. It warmed her insides slightly, but only enough to be able to push out the mental equivalence of a hug.

The door to her room slid open and she knew she’d have to trudge her way out and to the Doctor. He must be here. He has to be. Somehow, they must still be dreaming, there’s no way she could be there if they weren’t. She wasn’t really sure how she knew that or came to the conclusion, but it held firm.

___________________________

Back in the console room, Amy and Rory slowly rose to their feet, disregarding the Doctor entirely.

“Something happened,” Rory was shivering as Amy wordlessly watched him. “I.. What happened to me? I..”

He stopped trying to look for the right words to say as Amy leaned forward, resting her chin on his shoulder, and pulled him into as tight of a hug as her stiff arms could manage.

“Oh. Oh, right. This is good,” Rory stammered on in confusion, not sure of being able to do much else. “I am liking this. Is it something I said?”

Amy remained silent as she pulled back to look at him.

“Could you tell me what it was so I could use it in emergencies and maybe birthdays?”

Amy quietly snickered a little, a small smile creeping along her face.

Then they heard the Doctor crying out, “ROSE.”

Amy and Rory looked to each other, confused and concerned.

“She.. She can’t be here, right?” Rory asked. “I mean.. I mean, the Doctor said once we wake up..”

“ROSE.”

“DOCTOR.” It was her. It was Rose. Maybe she found a way to really be here. Or maybe something worse than they thought was happening.

Without second thought, they attempted to make their way to their friends.

Friends…  


Yeah.  


Rose Tyler is their friend; real or not.  


___________________________

Rose heard the Doctor scream for her. She thought he either figured out this is a dream, as well, or he must have held his hope way too high. Or maybe he was breaking down, having a full blown panic attack. Just like James used to when he woke up from some of his rougher connections with the fully Time Lord Doctor. Either way, Rose screamed back. But then she stopped in her tracks and tried to reach out to his mind.

Nothing happened.

How could nothing happen?

She tried again, screaming his name, his real name, in her mind, tearing a sharp pain throughout her entire head. She dropped to her knees at the same time as the Doctor, as he turned the corner. They held their heads and gritted their teeth, but kept eye contact the entire time.

Then stayed like this for a few moments before finally lowering their shields entirely, letting their minds settle together before reaching out.

_You can’t do that._

_It’s a dream, I can do anything._ Rose responded without really thinking about her reply.

 _No, you can only do anything in a dream if.. it’s.. your-_ The Doctor swallowed hard, and Rose stopped breathing all together as her heart skipped a beat.

___________________________

_“Could be your dream, too.” Rose nodded to the Doctor, letting the attention fall on her and away from a very grateful Amy._

_“Maybe it’s yours.” Rory offered._

_“Can’t be, she doesn’t know the two of you, or this face.”_

___________________________

“Doctor,” Rose breathed out in a whimper.

The Doctor shuffled forwards on his knees and pulled her flush against himself. He rocked them back and forth as they both silently sobbed.

“How can it be my dream?”

“I don’t know.”

“But the Dream Lord, he’s-“

“Me? Yes. But you already knew that. Of course you did.”

“Yeah.” Rose forced the rough lump down her throat as her voice broke. “Course.”

He held her tighter and sighed.

“What are we going to do?”

“You know what we have to do, Rose.”

He kissed the top of her head.

“I didn’t scream. When I woke up. But I didn’t feel you either.”

“I would assume the link we held in Leadworth before.. I would assume it held through back to here. I think the crash may have been too taxing on either one or both of us to do much more than keep you from screaming. Surprisingly enough, that takes quite some effort, Rose Tyler.”

“James used to say that, too,” her voice was barely above a whisper.

The Doctor caressed Rose’s mind, even daring to send her the smallest waves of love. She returned some waves of her own. They stayed like this for a while, comforting each other’s links and holding each other in their arms, eyes closed so they wouldn’t have to see the other cry.

___________________________

Eventually, Rory and Amy find their friends curled up together on the still ice covered ground, rocking each other back and forth as they sobbed and mumbled incoherently to each other. Eventually, their words stopped, but their movements did not.

___________________________

 _You know what we have to do, don’t you._ It wasn’t a question, but he asked her mentally anyways, wanting to be able to send waves of comfort with his words.

_Yeah._

_The last two times, I really thought it may be my last chanc-_

_Doctor, you don’t have to do this._

_Rose Tyler, yes I do._

He slowly pulled his arms across her back and up to her face, caressing her cold, flushed cheeks. Their eyes were open now, but they soon closed them as the Doctor leaned in to kiss Rose Tyler.

 _I love you._ They said it together and Rose violently sobbed mid-kiss as they did so, but the Doctor continued to kiss her anyways. When they pulled away, they left multiple lingering kisses before pulling each other back into a tight embrace.

_I should have said that before I regenerated. And I’m not just talking about this one. Rose Tyler._

_Doctor._ Rose started violently sobbing again. The Doctor only held her tighter for a minute longer before she collected herself, clearing her throat, and pulling back to look at him.

She grabbed his face and kissed him longingly before resting their foreheads together.

___________________________

Amy and Rory knew they should have turned at left during their first kiss, but they couldn’t seem to force themselves away. But this time, they knew it was best to head back to the console room, giving them a true moment of privacy. And so, hand-in-hand, they wordlessly made their way back to the console room, where they silently waited.

___________________________

_Do it. Blow up the TARDIS. It’s the only way._

_Together._

Rose pulled back and looked at the Doctor. She considered him for a second before standing up and offering him her hand.

_Together._

___________________________

They walked slowly, clinging onto each other’s arms, holding oh so tightly. Before they made it to the stairs, they stopped, taking in deep breaths before giving each other one last kiss. They let go of each other and made their way hand-in-hand down the stairs, plastering on as much of a smile they could manage.

“So this is a dream too, then?” Rory nodded to Rose who nodded in return.

“Yes, and we’re going to have to blow up the TARDIS.” The Doctor said, his voice laced with despair that he didn’t even bother trying to hide.

“Do we at least get to say our goodbyes?” Amy asked Rose.

She smiled sadly before releasing the Doctor’s hand and pulling the young woman in for a tight hug. Both Amy and Rose started to sob, not to discretely.

“Take care of him for me,” Rose whispered into Amy’s ear.

“Always do,” and Rose let out a single wet laugh.

“And tell Rory. Tell him before it’s too late.”

“Every chance I get.” The girls pulled back and nodded appreciatively to the other.

Then Rose turned to Rory, and pulled him in tightly as well, “You keep her safe. And you tell her. Every day.. You tell her.”

“I promise,” he whispered back and squeezed Rose.

“Don’t promise me,” she sniffed. “Promise her.”

“Every day.” And with that, Rose pulled back, patted Rory on the cheek, and made her way back to the Doctor’s side. He pulled her in close by the hip and left his hand there. She let him.

While they were saying their goodbyes, the Doctor had set the TARDIS to self district. There was only one last thing to do.

Rose grabbed his free hand and he lifted their joined hands above the final button that needed to be pressed.

 _I’ll dream of you later._ Rose tried to joke to ease the tension, but deep down she knew she was serious.

_I dream of you all the time._

Rose turned to meet the Doctor’s eyes, and they pressed the button. Together.


	11. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, its characters, or any of the transcript from "Amy's Choice" nor do I own the episode, itself. All mistakes are my own.

They all wake up in their own rooms. 

The Doctor in his.

Amy and Rory in theirs.

Rose, not screaming, in hers.. 

Hers.

________________________________

 

“Guess we’re back,” Rory says.

“Guess so,” Amy says.

“At least the Doctor won’t be calling us ‘the Ponds’ anymore,” Rory laughs.

“I dunno. I sorta like ‘the Ponds,’” Amy is half serious.

________________________________

The TARDIS hums a soft tune in the Doctor’s head.

He can’t tell what emotions she’s giving off.

He doesn’t care to find out.

The Doctor joins in.

________________________________

Rose is stunned.

Completely paralyzed.

She doesn’t move.

She doesn’t think.

Rose doesn’t do anything but lie in bed.

________________________________

 

The TARDIS blinks the lights in the Doctor’s room, trying to get him out of bed and down to the console room before his companions.

He complies without a fight.

________________________________

When the Doctor gets to the console room, the TARDIS flickers the glow of the time rotor.

A few minutes later, the Doctor finds specks of psychic pollen drifting in the time rotor. He removes them and waits for his friends.

________________________________

Amy and Rory walk to the console room hand-in-hand until they see the Doctor’s sad, slumped over shoulders. They drop their hands and walk opposite sides of the console until they each reach a different side of the Doctor, and each put a hand on his shoulders.

He doesn’t even flinch.

He keeps his eyes closed for a moment before putting on his happy mask and claps his hands together as he stands up straight, walking out of Amy and Rory’s grasps. He turns, leaning against a railing as he looks at his companions and take the psychic pollen speck from his tweed coat pocket.

“So! Any questions?”

They know he doesn’t want to discuss Rose, and as much as they do, they’ll let the conversation drop for now and play along with his act, for now, “Er.. What’s that?” Amy asks, pointing at the Doctor’s hand, moving closer to get a better look.

“Specks of psychic pollen from the candle meadows of Karass don Slava. Must have been hanging around for ages. Fell in the time rotor, heated up and induced a dream state for all of us.”

“For something so dangerous, it’s pretty beautiful,” Rory mused.

The Doctor looked up at Rory, “Most things usually are.” His voice was filled with such sadness and earnest that Rory didn’t even dare to respond.

The two men stared at each other for a moment longer before the Doctor closed his hand and walked to the TARDIS doors. He opened them, along with his hand that he had risen up to be level with his mouth. He blew the specks out into space. He closed the door, turned, and made his way back up to the console.

“So, those little specks, were they the Dream Lord?” Rory asked.

“No, no. No. Sorry, wasn’t it obvious?” The Doctor knitted his eyebrows as he looks to his companions.

“Er, no,” Amy lifted her eyebrows.

“Oh. Well. Physic pollen is a mind parasite that feeds on everything.. dark.. within you. Unknowingly, you give it a voice, a voice that turns against you. Sort of like when you argue with your subconscious, but much worse.”

“Right, so the Dream Lord was all of us?” Rory asked.

“No, it was-“

“You and me.”

Now that.

That.

Is impossible.

Slowly, the Doctor turned, gulping down the large lump in his throat, and looked up to the top of the staircase, at none other than Rose Tyler.

“I thought you said when we woke up, you’d be gone. Are we still dreaming? How can we still be dreaming?” Amy asked, looking back and forth at Rose to the Doctor. 

“Could there be any more specks left in the time rotor?” Rory offered.

But they didn’t answer.

They only kept their eyes on each other, faces solemn, sad, confused, and concerned.


	12. Memory Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's have some flashbacks as we try to put this baby together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We still have quite a way to go, and this chapter is mostly flashbacks to refresh our memories. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or its characters. All mistakes are my own.

“But it was only two dreams, you said it was only two dreams,” Amy was starting to panic.

“It was,” Rose answered but didn’t take her eyes off the Doctor.

“But how do you know this isn’t another dream?” Rory couldn’t tell if he was more frustrated or concerned.

“Because in my dreams, I can’t do this,” raising a hand and tipping down her chin slightly, eyes still trained on the Doctor, Rose’s eyes started to grow gold, more so than they had in either of the dreams.

_Do you trust me?_

_Rose-_

_Please._

_Did James? Did he trust you with this?_

_With his one life._

_Just don’t scare them too much._

“What- what are you doing?” Rory decided he was definitely more concerned than frustrated.

“Just watch his bowtie,” Rose’s voice was different, laced with what James had described to her as an ‘unearthly’ tone. 

The voice startled Amy and Rory and they both clutched onto each other as they took a step back, but still id as they were took. They looked at the Doctor, who in turn hesitated before pulling a small mirror from his tweed coat pocket.

“Hey, that’s mine,” Amy thought to herself with a frown. The Doctor had used it just the other day to get them out of a tough spot on some ‘reflective’ planet that Amy couldn’t remember much about at the moment. Any who, Amy had forgotten to ask for it back and now she made a mental note to do so later.

The Doctor’s bowtie was sloppily tied when he had woken up in his room. The rustling around the time rotor to get the specks had been a hasty and he may have tucked his bowtie a number of times out of nervous habit. But now, gold dust was appearing around it as it slowly cam undone, and just as slowly, retied.

The Doctor closed his eyes, refusing to meet Rose’s, who were starting to lose its dusting of gold.

Rose lowered her hand, and in turn her head, closing her own eyes, trying to poke at the only crack in the Doctor’s mental shielding she’d been able to feel since waking up. And judging by the look on his face when he first saw her, it didn’t seem that he even knew he had a crack. Of course he lowered it when Rose tried to talk to him, but as soon Bad Wolf took full effect, they shot back up. But she didn’t blame him. James did it too, at first. Well..

_Please don’t shut me out._

_I don’t know how you keep finding that crack._

_It feels like James._

The Doctor bit his lips, pulling them into his mouth and chanced a look up at Rose. She opened her own eyes and met his. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, but they both knew were only seconds; heads hanging guiltily as they stare almost pleadingly at each other. Aside from the humming of the TARDIS, everything was silent.

Finally, Amy spoke, “But you did do that in the dream.” The Doctor’s head snapped up immediately to face Amy. “Well, I mean, okay, not the.. the.. bowtie thing. But the eyes-“

“Yeah, I’ve seen your eyes do that, too. I thought I was just imagining it,” Rory chimed in.

“No, not imagining it. More like imagining everything else, really. Well.. Not really, but still,” Rose’s forced laugh was dry and she forced herself to swallow as she looked down at her trainers. “My eyes always do that, dream or not. I can only use the.. powers.. when I’m awake”

“You said the Dream Lord was the two of you. How could it be the two of you if he only took one form?” Rory asked.

Rose slowly lifted her head, tilting it to the side and furrowing her brows slightly as she contemplated the answer.

________________________________

_”DOCTOR!” Rose yelled into his mind- WAIT. Shit, shit, OH.. SHIT. Rose thought to herself._

_The Doctor froze on the spot and starred at Rose, both their eyes wide as saucers. “You shouldn’t be able to do that. How are you able to do that? ... I’m definitely dreaming, aren’t I?”_

_”I didn’t mean to. I’ve been trying not to, all of my walls were up but.. not all of yours were.” She was just so used to mentally stopping James and vise versa._

_“Doctor, are you alright?” Amy asked, but the Doctor could only nod in response, keeping his eyes fixated on Rose._

_”Rose.”_

_When she didn’t respond, he kept his eyes on her, but spoke to Amy and Rory. “Ponds, go look around for any danger. Don’t ask, just do it. Please.” They hesitated, but eventually Rory pulled Amy away._

_”Rose.” He was practically begging._

_I, uh, me and James — we were married. The human way and the, uh.. The.. The Gallifreyan way. We… Bonded.. Still had the Time Lord brain of his, but wasn’t sure if he.. If he could.. And he.. at least he said.. he said that he had a low level telepathic connection to you. Didn’t explain it much, said he didn’t want it to upset me.. Said I might be able to connect with you if somehow I ever saw you again.. He, um, he would dream.. About you. The connection — all the worst times you had, they’d be projected into his dreams._

_”And all of his were projected into mine I thought they were just dreams, nightmares, coincidences, my mind playing tricks.” Rose could tell how much earnest and sadness filled him._

________________________________

The Doctor’s eyes widened as Rose fed him the memory. There was many, many questions he had to ask her (along with tests he’d definitely want to run, knowing full well James probably quad triple checked them all already) but now wasn’t the time for most of them.

________________________________

_Course he kept checking them. It was how we found out we could.. Well, how we could.. bond… He, uh, he also said, with your connection.. the more emotional either of you were, especially together.. the stronger it would be. And then-_

_And then you bonded with him and that’s how-_

_And that’s how I can connect so easily with you, yeah. Thought we sort of covered that._

_Yes, but that’s not what I’m thinking._

_Oh._

They were brought out of their musing by Rory clearing his throat, “Right, so are either of you going to answer my question, or are you going to make us play the guessing game?”

The Doctor clapped his hands together and gave Rory and Amy a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Right, well, once upon a time all the way through time and space and parallel worlds, Rose Tyler and I shared a mental connection through the marriage of her husband, who was actually me, but also not me-“ The Doctor started but was cut off by Rory.

“Right, and you still haven’t explained that.”

“I’ll tell you later,” Amy turned to Rory and the Doctor furrowed his brows, turning to Rose.

_I told her. When it was just the two of us and the Dream Lord._

_Right, right, of course, right._

Rose lifted an eyebrow and the Doctor furrowed his once more. She nodded towards Amy and Rory who were looking at him, expectantly.

“Right,” the Doctor started to realize how much they keep using the word and shuttered slightly. “So, what were we saying?”

“All of time and space and parallel worlds, Rose Tyler, mental connection, marriage, it almost sounds like a twisted fairytale,” Amy offered.

“Mmm, feels like,” Rose mused, looking about the ceiling of the TARDIS.

The Doctor coughed awkwardly, “Yes, well.. Well.. actually, no, might as well explain it now, Amy.”

“Oh, no, I can do this bit,” Rose said, moving to stand in front of Rory, raising one hand to the side of his head. Then she turned to the Doctor, who was watching her with knitted brows. “Come on, might as well let you in on it, otherwise I’d never hear the end of it.”

The Doctor furrowed his brows even more before Rose sighed and pulled him next to her by his hand.

_Just trust me._

_With all my lives._

“Amy, put your fingers on Rory’s temple, and Rory do the same to Amy, like this,” Rose demonstrated by putting her pointer and middle finger on the Doctor’s temple, shocking him into a sharp gasp and he grabbed her wrist. He looked at her, concerned and maybe the slightest bit afraid.

She sent him waved of apologies and rubbed his eyebrow with her thumb until he calmed.

“You alright, now?”

“Yeah,” his voice was barely above a whisper.

He cleared his throat.

“Is that going to happen to us? Because if it is, I think I’ll take the alternative,” Rory worried.

“No, no. I just wasn’t ready. She’s a lot stronger than she looks,” the Doctor smiled at Rose and she felt the smallest squeeze of pride as he lifted his fingers to her temple.

She didn’t flinch.

She welcomed him gratefully.

Then she turned to Amy and Rory who hesitated before following their example.

“Might be easier if you close your eyes.”

“And try to imagine a whole wall blocking your minds. Or shutting your thoughts behind a door.”

“Yeah, we’re not going to look at anything if that’s what you’re concerned about. I’m just going to take the memory of me telling Amy about James and share it. Now, I’ve had a long time to practice and perfect, but even I can’t entirely hide emotions. So anything any one of us feels, it’ll be passed around. Do you think you’re ready?” Rose asked, softly.

They nodded and Rose lightly placed her fingers on Rory’s temple as the Doctor put his on Amy’s.

“This seems like some weird brainy orgy or something,” Amy tried to joke to lighten the tension in her chest.

They all stood in silence for a moment before all awkwardly laughing for a few short moments.

“Yeah, or something,” Rose eventually responded. “Alright, so if it gets to be too much, just step away or tell me to stop.”

They nodded.

”Again, it might be easier if you close your eyes,” the Doctor added.

Everyone closed their eyes as Rose replayed the memory.

________________________________

_“My lovely ladies,” The Dream Lord clasped his hands together. “We are going to have so much fun.”_

_“Are we?” Rose stared him down intently, eyes starting to glow._

_“That whole routine may make the Doctor drop to his knees, but not me. I’m not afraid of the big bad wolf.”_

_A slow smile crept across Rose’s face and her eyes shined even brighter. “Good.”_

_The Dream Lord’s face dropped, but he still kept his eyes trained on Rose. Amy’s own eyes widened and she backed up until her ankles hit the stairs and she sat herself down, afraid if she stood much longer, she may just fall._

_Then the Dream Lord disappeared._

________________________________

_“So, are you going to explain it to me, or what?”_

_“Yeah, just.. Just gimme a mo. Not really the easiest thing in the universe to explain, you know?” Rose licked her lower lip before pulling it into her mouth, biting it lightly. She thought for a few moments before opening her mouth to talk, but then the Dream Lord appeared._

_“You poor girls. He always leave you, doesn’t he?” Rose opened her eyes, but she fixed her gaze onto her lap. “It was always you coming back for him, wasn’t it?” He asked Rose, she knew that, but she still refused to look up. “And you,” He turned to Amy. “You’re always just left alone. All alone in the dark. He never apologizes to anyone, does he?”_

_“He doesn’t have to,” Amy defended her friend and then got up to walk away from the Dream Lord._

_“That’s good because he never will. It only took him splitting in two and becoming half human to even try to get Rose to forgive him for even the smallest of things. Isn’t that right? Come on, you can tell us the truth. You’ll probably be dead soon, anyways.”_

_“Rose, what’s he talking about?” Amy turned to look at Rose who finally looked up._

_“You remember me and the Doctor talking about a ‘meta-crisis him?’” Amy nodded. “Well that’s what we meant. I was stuck in a parallel universe, like we said. But then I came back because every universe was in danger of dying. You remember that time when all the stars were going out?” Amy nodded again. “Yeah, well we stopped it. Saved everyone. Me, the Doctor, a lot of our friends.. Even my mum-“_

_“What’s any of that got to do with a half human Doctor?”_

_“Right, well, the Doctor can do this.. thing.. where instead of dying, he changes every cell in his body. He literally becomes a new person.. different face, body, personality, all that.. I told you I did something dangerous with the price of me and the Doctor. Well, the Doctor’s price was changing.. Regeneration, it’s called.. And then a few hours later, one of his hands got cut off. Another grew in its place. Sort of freaked me out at first. Still sort of does. But, uh, a friend of ours found the hand that got cut off and kept it in a jar.. When I came back to stop the stars from going out, the Doctor already had the hand back, still in a jar. But then he got shot by a Dalek. Should’ve regenerated. But the energy that goes into the regeneration, he put it all into his jarred hand. Still not really sure how that worked, after all the times he’s tried to explain it to me. But, uh.. Then a friend of his.. a human, touched the hand and suddenly a second Doctor grew from it.. Human body, but Time Lord brain. Still him. All the same thoughts, memories.. Feelings.”_

_“Meaning-“_

_“Meaning, unlike this Doctor, he wouldn’t regenerate, he would grow old just like a normal human, and die like one, too.. After we.. Well, after the stars were saved, the Doctors started returning everyone home.. Including me.. But I didn’t expect it. I was ready to go back to traveling with him. But he, uh.. He left me, my mum, and the meta-crisis, James, as we called him.. He left us all back in the parallel world. Said James was too dangerous. That he needed me. Bloody idiot, this Doctor needed me, too. But you’ve seen how stubborn he is.”_

_Rose’s eyes were squeezed shut toward the end of her story, trying to hold back all her tears, but some slipped through and she ran her hands over her face to wipe them away before clearing her throat, opening her eyes, and looking about the TARDIS._

_They sat in silence, even the Dream Lord. Then Amy spoke up. “What happened to him? To James?”_

_Rose drew in a shaky breath before meeting Amy’s eye. “What he said he'd do. He grew old.”_

_Amy furrowed her brows. “But what does that mean?”_

________________________________

Rose was about to pull back, when other memories surfaced in the link. Memories that were hers, yet not.

“Doctor, don’t,” she warned aloud.

He ignored her.

Typical.

But she let him.

Even more typical.

But they all deserved to know, or at least have a chance at figuring it out.

It might be better that way.

That way she doesn’t have to do it herself.

But she shielded these thoughts from the rest of the group.

________________________________

_“You were right, too.” At that, the Doctor did look up at Rose, his brows furrowed. “He needed me. But I think.. so did you.” The Doctor’s brows softened out, along with the rest of his face. He looked as sad as he did the last time she say him, this him._

_“Yes I do.” It was barely above a whisper, but Rose heard it loud and clear. And now it was Rose’s turn to look miserable._

_’Doctor.’ She caressed his mind with her own, and he closed his eyes. Rose took this time to look at him, really look at him, for the first time. He looked so much younger than she’d ever seen him. And yet so much older, as well. It hurt. She hurt. And she could tell that so did he. She remembered how he would often talk about all that he had seen and done, all the grief and despair he held inside. Sometimes James would say that with her, he could almost forgive himself. All of his selves._

_”Did he really say that?” The Doctor asks, opening his eyes to see that he’s startled Rose._

_“I.. I didn’t mean for you to see that.”_

_The Doctor sniffed. “I used to feel like that. When you were still here. It makes sense that he would tell you. Probably takes every chance he can, seeing as he has the chance to be with you.”_

_“He didn’t have much of a choice. Neither did I.”_

_’Rose.’_

_’Not that I wasn’t grateful. I was. I am.’_

_’You keep using past tense.’_

________________________________

More memories started to surface, memories that still were hers, yet not.

________________________________

_This time when they woke, Rory covered Rose’s mouth, as he had woken up next to her and really wasn’t in the mood to hear her screaming. Once she calmed, she took a sharp inhale through her nose and eyed him angrily as he removed his hand._

_“It’s not like I can control it, you know. I’ve been doing it for years.”_

_“You must’ve not gotten laid in years, then.” Rory regretted it the moment he said it, as Rose’s angry face quickly switched to her emotionless mask. “Sorry.”_

________________________________

_“I’ve seen your dreams.” The Dream Lord said, looking at everyone in turn, ending with Amy. “Some of them twice, Amy. Blimey, I’d blush if I had a blood supply or a real face.” Then he turned to Rose. “And you. Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?” He asked slowly._

_“Yeah, ‘cos I haven’t heard that one about a million times over the years.” Rose chortled._

_“And how many years has it been?” The Dream Lord asked, narrowing his eyes. No one saw the flicks of gold swirl in Rose’s eyes except him._

________________________________

_“You have.. your mother, Pete, Tony.. the meta-crisis me-“_

_“James. That’s what he was called.”_

_“Sorry, not to interrupt, but you still haven’t said what a meta-crisis is.” Rory interjected._

_“And what do you mean ‘was?’” Judging on the sadness in Rose’s voice, Amy knew she shouldn’t have asked, but she needed some answers._

________________________________

_“Leave them alone.”_  


_“Do that again. I love it when he does that. Tall, dark hero. ‘Leave them alone!’” The Dream Lord mimicked the Doctor, standing up straighter and imitating a low, deep voice. He turned and smirked at Rose, “Always was one of the things that made you fall in love with him, wasn’t it? Although,” he turned back to the Doctor, smirk still in place. “That was a very long time ago. Wasn’t it, Doctor? Rose?” He turned back to her. “Come on, tell him how long ago it was. I know you’re just itching to.”_

________________________________

_”Amy.” Rose’s voice was so soft, she was almost surprised Amy heard her. “I’ve lost the love of my life - enough times now. I know it hurts. But I promise you, we will get him back.”_

________________________________

_”How long are you going to run? Until you die? Because I’ll tell you this; you won’t.”_

________________________________

_He looks her up and down a few times before finally speaking. “I must definitely be dreaming.”_

_“Or maybe one of us is finally dead.” Rose says softly before she can stop herself. Immediately, she raises a hand to cover her mouth. Her eyes were wide and glossy._

________________________________

_“Is that really all Rose Tyler is to you? A ‘friend?’ Well, I guess that answer doesn’t need saying. You sure didn’t seem to think so. Not back on that beach. ” The Doctor visibly flinched. “And for your so called ‘friends,’ is that really the right word for the people you acquire? Friends are people you stay in touch with. Your friends never see you again once they’re grown up. The old man prefers the company of the young, does he not? Although…” The Dream Lord looked to Rose, studying her, letting the rest of his sentence die out. “But maybe that’s why you aren’t seeking any answers from your precious flower.”_

________________________________

_“Huh! What? A weird new star, fourteen minutes left to live, and only one man to save the day? Huh?” The Doctor shifts his jaw around as he looks to and fro from Rory, Amy, Rose, then back at Rory. “I just wanted a nice village and a family.”_

_“Rory, it could be so much worse. You can trust me on that.” Rose tried to reassure Rory, but the words sounded far from that to even Rose, herself._

_Rory turned on her, “Yeah, and how would you know?”_

_“Because I’ve been there.” She nearly spit out._

________________________________

Rose had let the rest of them project as many memories as they could muster up, but at Rory’s last one, Rose pulled back violently, tripping over her own feet as she quickly moved away and landed on her bum. She moved far enough away that she had gotten close to the railing, slamming the back of her smack into it.

She was panting heavily and crying endlessly.

She was having a panic attack.

She used to get them a lot, still does sometimes. But when she had James, they weren’t as bad or frequent. Although sometimes, when he tried to caress her mind, she’d shove him off.

And that’s exactly what she did to the Doctor when he tried to do the same.

“James, don’t,” her voice came out strangled and before she could register her mistake. She immediately covered her face with both of her hands, dragging up one knee, and rested her hand covered face on it.

The Doctor was completely stunned. He’d had panic attacks before, ones that Rose had helped him through. And she’d had some, too. Ones he’d helped her though. They’d rarely rejected each other’s comfort, but it still happened. This, however, was something completely different. And he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Rory was nearly petrified. He’s a nurse, for crying out loud! He should know what to do when someone is have a panic attack! And he’s just standing there!

Amy stood in shock at first. But then she took a deep breath and snapped herself out of it. She looked at the two men beside her. Rory looked horrified, while the Doctor looked as if he had just killed the most precious thing in the universe.

But then a memory surfaced to her mind, and her mind, alone.

________________________________

_“What’s so special about you, then?” She didn’t mean it rudely, they all knew that. But Amy needed to know and if she didn’t ask now, she may never be able to again and get an answer._

_“Everything.” The Doctor responded without hesitation, looking at Rose, his eyes sadder and older than Amy had ever seen. They were filled with so much longing._

________________________________

She shoved the Doctor’s back, forcing him to stumble forward.

He got the message and slowly made his way to sit beside Rose, pulling her into his embrace.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders, letting her shiver and shake. Her hands were still on her face as he buried his own in her hair.

Eventually she lowered her hands and placed one over each of his hearts, her face still sobbing in the middle as she clutched tightly to his shirt. He squeezed her tighter and she released her firm grasp after one last tight grip, and continued to feel for his dual heartbeat.

After a few minutes, the TARDIS had alerted the Doctor that his other two companions had retired to their room. He wondered if he should pick Rose up and bring her to her own.

No.

He knew just the right place to take her.

And so, he lowered his arms around her and picked her up. She kept one hand on his shoulder, holding on to support herself, while she kept the other over between his two hearts, not sure she could make herself do much else. She turned her face into the crook of his neck.


	13. Show the Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's talk. And maybe make some choices?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, its characters, or any of the transcript from "Amy's Choice" nor do I own the episode, itself. All mistakes are my own.

“So, um..” Rory started as he curled up next to Amy in bed. He pulled her close.

“Yeah?” Amy asked.

“Blowing up the TARDIS.. That stopped that dream..”

“..Yeah?”

“What stopped the Leadworth one?”

“We, uh,” Amy cleared her throat before she turned her head into her pillow as she rushed out her next words. “We crashed the camper van.”

“Oh. Right. I don’t think I actually remember that bit.”

“No, you weren’t there. You were alre-“

Amy couldn’t finish, and settled for starring at Rory with pleading eyes.

“Already..?” He offered.

“Already dead.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“Mrs. Poggit.”

“Oh. Wow. That’s sort of embarrassing.”

Amy laughed quietly despite herself.

“So how, uh.. How did you know it was a dream? I mean, how did you know you wouldn’t… Wouldn’t, you know, just.. Die?”

Amy took a deep breath but her voice sounded small, “I didn’t.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

They weren’t sure who moved first, but they were quickly entangled in each other’s arms, embracing in a heated kiss.

________________________________

“I’m going to put you down, now,” The Doctor whispered in Rose’s ear.

She was numb, completely devoid of feeling or emotion. But she whimpered at the loss of touch and blindly reached for the Doctor’s hand, her eyes still closed.

Rose could hear him make a sound that was a mix between a hum and a chuckle as he intwined their fingers.

“I’m only moving to lie beside you, don’t worry, I’m right here. I promise you, I’m not leaving you.”

After he settled himself down and by her side, he lifted their joined hands. He kissed the back of her hand before resting the pair on his chest.

They lay in silence for what felt like hours, but they knew were only minutes, until Rose took a deep breath and froze up.

“Applegrass,” the Doctor was quiet. “Not the same as New Earth, but the closest the TARDIS could get to mimicking it.”

It took her a few seconds but she eventually settled.

“I suppose this makes me the new new new new Doctor, eh?”

Rose didn’t open her eyes, but she did respond, “No. You, all of you, even James, you were always the Doctor, nothing else.”

“I won’t argue you there, you are right,” the Doctor turned his head to look at Rose, but she kept her face angled up and away from him, eyes closed. “But you’re also wrong.”

At this, Rose did open her eyes, struggled not to look at the Doctor, but failed after a few fleeting moments.

The complete softness and openness in the Doctor’s eyes, and within the small bit of connection Rose would let herself continue to cling onto, Rose became breathless, at a total lose for words, and as her her jaw fell, so did a few tears. The Doctor slowly lifted a hand to cradle her cheek. He used his thumb to wipe away her tears, and his pinky finger to close her mouth.

He felt her swallow hard before he spoke, “I was- am- always your Doctor-”

“Please, don-“

“Rose Tyler.”

She squeezed her eyes shut as more tears fell.

“You know,” the Doctor started. “The TARDIS suggested I take you into one of the ballrooms. I couldn’t really tell if she was being serious.”

“Even if she was, I’m a little surprised you didn’t.”

“Oh, I would have,” he moved close to Rose, kissing her cheek, right under her eye, were her last tear was falling. “But I thought you might like this a little bit more.” Slowly, so that she’d have time to pull back from him if she wanted, the Doctor pulled Rose into his side, wrapping his arms around her. He ran one hand through her hair as she snuggled up flush against him, and used the other hand to rub soothing circles against her back.

“Get some real sleep, Rose Tyler,” he whispered.

They both closed their eyes.

The Doctor made sure to caress Rose’s mind as much as her sleeping consciousness would let it, before drifting into sleep, himself.

________________________________

They were now naked, bodies entangled, with skin on skin.

“You really liked us being called the Ponds?” Rory asked.

“Well, sort of, yeah,” Amy asked, closing her eyes as Rory kissed her forehead.

“Hmm. Too bad we aren’t, then.. You know.. The Ponds.”

“Married or not, we are.. You know.. The Ponds.”

“How’s that?”

“‘Cos we will be, very soon.”

“Oh?”

“Oh.”

A few minutes, and many kisses later, they fell asleep.

________________________________

Rose didn’t wake up screaming.

She felt a little better, but she was still mostly drained.

Somehow, within her deep sleep, she managed to angle herself around the Doctor like she used to with James. Her head was cushioned on his chest, one hand above her head, near his shoulder, the other under his tweed coat, running her up his side.

The Doctor woke up, unbeknownst, in the same way that James used to wake up. Rose Tyler on top, him on the bottom, with one arm rested protectively- if not a tad possessively- over her shoulders, the other reaching around her, hand rubbing at her hip, fingers under the hem of her top.

They were both aware of the situation. Rose knew this wasn’t James, and the Doctor knew she knew. Well. He did, when Rose woke up. Because, for the first time since their double dream land, the Doctor woke much, much earlier than Rose. He woke after her arm had snaked its way into his tweed coat, and after his own hand had made it under her top. He woke up very appreciatively of the fact, and, if out of instinct, started writing in a language only he spoke, on her hip.

________________________________

“We could travel some more.. You know.. Before getting married,” Rory offered, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, but his hopeful voice fell through.

“Oh, you idiot. That was the plan.” 

________________________________

“I miss him,” Rose let the Doctor rub her hip, just as the Doctor let her rub his side. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

“I know.”

The Doctor leaned down to place a kiss to the top of Rose’s head.

“It’s hard. Seeing you so young looking, after I-“ her voice gave out and settled for nuzzling her head more comfortably against the Doctor’s chest.

“You don’t have to tell me everything,” the Doctor offered.

“I know. But I want to.”

“You don’t have to. Not all at once, not right now.”

“Just.. Give me some time.”

He placed another kiss on top of her head, giving his silent agreement.

They stayed silent for a few minutes longer before the Doctor spoke.

“Rose?”

“Mm?”

“It’s still nearly impossibly for you to be here, but I might have a hint as to how it could be hardly possible.”

“Right..?”

“I can’t be certain, and I may have to run some tests..” 

The Doctor paused for a moment, waiting for Rose to either stop him or encourage him to continue.

She did neither.

“Okay.”

“What?”

“I said-“

“I heard what you said, I just thought-“

“Well, you thought wrong. I’ve had enough tests done on me, what’s a few more?” It wasn’t a question.

The Doctor sighed then took in a deep breath, “You’re going to have to tell me about Bad Wolf.”

“All of it?” She knew the answer.

“You know the answer to that,” the Doctor knew she did, too.

Now was Rose’s turn to sigh, “Guess I should’ve known this would’ve happened sooner or later.”

The Doctor continued rubbing circles into Rose’s hip as he ducked his head down to kiss the top of her head, yet once more.

“Doctor?”

“Yes, Rose?”

“Amy and Rory.”

“What about Amy and Rory?”

“Should we tell them about- I mean we can’t just keep them in the dark. They are scared and they deserve some answers. They are your companions, after all.”

“No. They’re our companions, Rose.”

“I haven’t been your companion, in a long time,” her voice was small.

“You were never my companion. Or at least, never just.”

Rose lifted her head, resting her chin on the Doctor’s chest so that she could look at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. And I believe, if you had come back under different circumstances, we would all have responded much differently.”

“You mean without the fake memories?”

“Yes.”

“What happened to those memories? I mean, I can’t remember them anymore.”

“Me neither. And if I am correct, and usually I am, but this is only a guess-“

“Doctor-“

“Right, so, I think ours minds were so involved with trying to focus on the problems at hand that we had a sort of slip up, that we couldn’t process everything. I mean, you did say you can only do that whole.. eye.. glow..y.. thing..y.. in dreams, not the..” He drew in a deep breath. “..rest of it. Thinking one of the two dreams could be a reality, you were probably too focused on Bad Wolf, and I was probably, alright, fine, don’t look at me like that, I was definitely too focused on the fact that I thought you’d be gone again and I was scared.. Absolutely terrified.”

Rose lifted the hand that rested on the Doctor’s shoulder and caressed his cheek. He turned his hand onto the comfort of her palm, and kissed it. They never broke eye contact.

“Under any other circumstance, what do you think would have happened?”

“Probably what I wanted to happen the last time. Running into each other’s arm and breaking out into a full blown and also right proper snog with Rose Tyler,” the Doctor smirked as Rose tried to hold back a giggle and a smile. But then his face grew serious, “And then there’d be questioning and test running and frustrated noise making and you and Amy would probably yell, I could see the two of you bonding very nicely over your needs and likes of yelling at me aaaannnddd-”

“I see you still pout.”

“I do not pout.”

“Yeah? Then what do you do?”

“I sulk. And brood.”

“No, that was big ears and leather and Northern you,” Rose absentmindedly rubbed his cheek, remembering the first face she fell in love with. She smiled softly and the Doctor gently chanced caressed her mind a little more. She let him.

“You miss him,” it wasn’t a question.

She sighed and rested her cheek back down against his chest, “I miss all of you.”

The Doctor lifted the arm wrapped around Rose’s shoulders and grabbed the hand still on his face. He locked their fingers together.

“I’m right here. I don’t know one hundred percent how that could be for you, but I am. In. Fact. Right. Here. Rose Tyler.”

“You miss that name, don’t you?”

“Oh, I miss much more than just that.”

They fell into silence.

“So, why this?”

“What?”

“This room.”

“I’ve already told you about this room, Rose.”

“I know, I know. You had the TARDIS make it instead of apologizing about abandoning me at the hospital-“

“That’s not fair, I did apologize, I designed this entire room for you! I have designed many rooms for you, Rose Tyler. I’d say it goes to show that I put great care and consideration into my apologies.”

“Alright, so why’d you bring me in here?”

“Oh, well, I did consider just bringing you to your old room, but then I think I would have started crying with you, and it wouldn’t be any good having both of us crying. And then the TARDIS kept insisting on a ballroom, like I said, and by the way I think we should check that out later because it might be that she actually just wants me to fix something-“

“No, I know why she wants us to go in there-“

“What?”

“You’ll probably find out later-“

“What?”

“Right, forgot to mention, I can hear the TARDIS-“

“You can hear the TARDIS.”

“I can hear the TARDIS.”

“Right.”

“Right. So Doctor, this room-“

“Right, this room.. Well, it was the first room I made in my last regeneration and.. and it was the first room I visited once I was all settled and what not in this.. regeneration,” the Doctor fell silent for a moment, but then took a deep breath. “Would’ve been the second, but..” Then he fell silent, again.

“But?”

“But I couldn’t quite bring myself to open your door,” Rose had heard the Doctor talk in a small voice many times, but never with this voice. It hurt.

“None of that,” the Doctor brought up their joined hands and kissed the back of Rose’s hand, while sending waves of comfort to her mind.

“I don’t know why you’re comforting me, if anything I should be comfor-“

“I would say I’m comforting you because by being here instead of Pete’s World, you’ve just lost everything. But I feel as though that’s not the case. You’ve seen the type of life I live. I’ve been able to cope for hundreds and hundreds of years. But you..” He wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence.

“I’m not really even sure how many years it’s been,” her voice was barely above a whisper, but she kept her words even and strong.

“Well, we might be able to find out. If that’s something you might want.”

Instead of a response, he was met with silence.

“Right. So what’s there for us to do now?” Rose eventually asked.

The Doctor mulled the question over in his mind for a few moments, “We could just.. Stay.. Here.. Or we could go run some tests, maybe bring Amy and Rory along, only if you want of course, but it’s your choice. All of it’s your choice, Rose Tyler.”


	14. Showers and Hallways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's take a little break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Doctor Who or its characters. All mistakes are my own.

Having to make a choice was something Rose Tyler hadn’t had to deal with in a long time. So Rose decided to do what she always did when she had a choice to make.

Shower.

As the Doctor walked Rose to her room, they thought quietly to themselves about a many of things. For example, why exactly is the Doctor walking Rose to her room? What happens when they actually get to her room? It’s bound to be an awkward parting of ways, isn’t it? Is that why they’re feeling nervous? Nervous? How could they feel nervous? Obviously, Rose would be a bit nervous about “getting tests done” because in actuality that means a lot of explaining and a lot of prodding in personal space. Both of which, Rose hadn’t had to deal with in a long time, either. With their minds drifting as such, they would have walked past Rose’s room, had the TARDIS not moved it to a dead end hallway.

“Ah. Good,” the Doctor nodded to the wall with his head beating to an unsteady rhythm. “A wall. That’s very..”

“Us?”

“..Yeah,” the nodded ceased.

“I’m just going to-“ Rose used one hand to jerk her thumb towards her door, while her other reached for the handle.

“Right.”

Rose opened the door and started to walk in, stopping mid-step as the Doctor spoke up.

“Say, Rose..”

“Yes?”

The Doctor wasn’t really sure why he spoke, and thus he wasn’t really sure what to say next. But he could feel her uneasiness. Maybe he just wanted to reassure her. But how..

“Do you really like my bowtie?” He settled for trying to get her to laugh. He swayed himself into standing up straight, hands raising up to adjust his bowtie, and a goofy smile settling across his face.

Rose smiled as she let out a short laugh and shook her head as she closed the door. The Doctor stood outside for good two second before turning and walking away.

“Yes,” Rose called out as she opened her door, poking her tongue between her toothy smile. The Doctor smiled back. Rose started closing the door but stopped halfway. “We should talk to Amy and Rory.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.. Give me some time to clean myself up and I’ll meet you all in the med bay, yeah?”

“I was actually thinking we might have some tea.”

“You mean me, Amy, and Rory have tea while you eat all the biscuits?”

“Yes, that’s what I said, tea!” The Doctor shot Rose a self satisfied grin as she rolled her eyes with a laugh and closed her door.

________________________________

As the Doctor made his way down the hall, something occurred to him. 

Rose could hear the TARDIS. 

“Well,” he thought to himself. “At least I know the first thing we’re going to talk about.”

_I can’t get so much as my trainers off without you letting a few thoughts into my head, can you?_

_Sorry. Didn’t mean for you to hear that. Least now you know._ The Doctor was sure that Rose would be able to feel his embarrassment, though he tried desperately to cover it.

Rose sent waves of reassurance.

_It’s alright, you know. But I am going to have to raise my walls, at the very least, until I’m wrapped in a towel._

_Right, sorry._ Now the Doctor was beyond embarrassed and any attempts to hide it only made it worse. He secured his own walls a little extra after Rose’s were put in place, and fiddled with his bowtie out of habit.

________________________________

The moment the spray of the water hit her skin, Rose locked her shields in place even more tightly than she usually did- and she usually locked them fairly tight- and broke down in a deep, throaty sob. Within the recent years, she hadn’t had panic attacks often, nor did she cry or sob, shower or not aside. 

Pull yourself together. For fuck sake, pull yourself together.

She was years and years old, so why the hell did she feel as vulnerable as her nineteen-year-old self at this moment? Her shields were up, blocking her mind. Now if only she could block her thoughts. 

So, without trying to use much effort, Rose went to work cleaning herself, refusing to let her mind drift to anything but the task at hand.

Once she was al clean, she stood under the hot spray of the shower, her eyes closed, and she focused on the hum of the TARDIS that tried to harmonize with the steady inhale and exhale of Rose’s calculated breaths. After several minutes, she finally shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. She grabbed a towel she hadn’t remember having before, but knew the TARDIS had supplied for her, and dried herself off. Lowering her shields slightly, she opened her mind to the TARDIS, sending waves of thanks.

After drying herself as much as she could, she wrapped her towel around herself and began to make her way to the wardrobe room to find appropriate clothing. She came to a stop at her bedroom door as she noticed a big, black bag hanging from a notch on the top of the door. She opened the bag and pulled out a matching pair of cotton black knickers and bra, thick, woolen grey socks, a black cotton jumper, and a pair of dark jeans. It wasn’t much, but it was comfy and a familiar enough get up to give her some comfort. After spending the day in an alternation between khakis, a vest top, a jumper, and a rain coat in dream Leadworth, verses a jumpsuit, jumper, and cardigan in the dream TARDIS, she was beyond grateful to have something was common and used to wearing. Although, she held no protest against the outfits she wore on the dreams (then again, she never actually thought about either until now, and thought maybe one day she might consider the outfits if she were ever to find them). She rubbed the wall closest to her in appreciation and was rewarded with a happy thrumming in her head and a flickering of the lights. 

Once dressed, she took a deep breath before heading for the galley.

She had made her choices, although she knew she’d still be faced with many more.

________________________________

Right. So. What exactly did the TARDIS want the Doctor in one of the ballrooms for? The TARDIS responded with- what for her was- the equivalence of laughter. Well. That’s definitely not helpful.

As the Doctor continued to make his way about the TARDIS, he let his mind wander, once more. He usually thought best when either under pressure or pacing, walking, generally moving about and decided to roam through some of the ballrooms as he thought. However, every time he opened a door, he was met with anything but a ballroom. After groaning for the unteenth time upon, yet again, not encountering a ballroom, he thought it best to just explore the many corridors of the TARDIS until he felt it time for tea.

He didn’t know why the TARDIS wanted him in whatever blasted ballroom it was she wanted him in, but he did know that he was only focusing his curiosity on that to avoid his thoughts and questions of Rose.

Heeding a heavy sign, he took the left wing of a two-way divide and scrubbed a hand down his face before finally letting his mind shift to Rose. He knew she had completely drawn her own walls up. Assuming she might lower them slightly upon finishing her shower, he debated how much time that would give him before she’d pull them down. he wanted to be able to pull his own shields up completely so that if he thought anything too emotionally raw for either of them, she wouldn’t have to suffer by accident. But, pulling up his own shields entirely meant fending off the feel of Rose. Yes, her shields may be impenetrable, or nearly as far as he knew, but he could still feel the acknowledge of her existence. He knew with his shields down, she could feel his, too. He told himself he was keeping his shields down for her benefit. He selfishly and greedily knew he was keeping them down for his.

It had only been less than a year since the last time he’d seen her, and he could only imagine how long it’s been for her. He thought it was distressing enough the first time, having been without her for about three years. Last time he wasn’t prepared, but he was given warning. Warning. That’s not really the right word. A sign? Yes, that might do. But this time- nothing. Thinking about it now, it doesn’t feel as if it was all that long ago that the stars went out, that he had left Rose in Pete’s world with the meta- James. His name was James. And he was left with Rose, all of them thinking he would get to live the life the Doctor, himself, would never have. In a way, he supposed he did. He wasn’t sure if it was ironic, bittersweet, or just plain cruelty what that had meant for Rose and himself.

But, as he has told Rose, he had had what he thought were dreams, but now realized were part of his connection to James. But with so such a big gap in time, what exactly were the time differences between the shared memories, if it were even safe to call them that? And when was the last time that either of them had seen the other’s memories? Why couldn’t he remember the last memory of James he saw? Why couldn’t he remember the last time he saw it? For that matter, how exactly could he even have seen any of James’ memories? Better yet, where they memories, or happens from in the moment?

And when did the galley door get so close?

________________________________

“I’ve made a list,” Rory states immediately upon seeing the Doctor step into the galley.

“A list?” he asks, freezing up in the doorway.

“Yeah, a list. Stuff I- we,” he motions between himself and Amy. “Want to know.” Seeing the hesitation in the Doctor’s face, he quickly adds, “We don’t have to know now, not all of it, at least. There’s just a few things we eventually want to know.”

“Like what?” The Doctor grew wary and attempted to swallow the lump in his throat; unsuccessfully.

“We’ve heard that name before- Rose Tyler-“

“Before we met her,” Amy adds.

“That you have,” the Doctor agrees as he slowly pulls out his normal seat beside Amy, and sits down. Amy and Rory stare at him expectantly and he considers his next few words carefully and recites them slowly after taking a deep breath. “You found her room, or the TARDIS showed you, I’m still not really sure. Glowing golden bronze door with a big, bright rose pattern engraved on the entire thing. And it’s locked. Or it was.”

“So it is your favorite,” Amy says after a few moments of silence.

“Yes,” he breathes, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You said the TARDIS does that ‘every time’ with your companions,” Amy says. “What did you mean?”

The Doctor takes a deep breath before shifting his focus between Amy and Rory, “You’re not the first companions I’ve had. Well, obviously not. But you’re also not the first companions I’ve had since Rose. I’ve had two others- three. Sort of. Two new, one old, but that’s not the point. The point is, however, that the TARDIS thinks it fun to show my new companions her door the first time I try to go there while having said companions on board.

“Why does she do that?”

“I don’t know. Like I said, she thinks it’s _fun,_ ” the word comes out bitter and with a scrunch of his face. But as his face softens, so do his words.

“How can she think it’s fun?”

“I don’t know, Amelia, how can a time and space ship think at all?” 

“So she can think?” Rory leans forwards, laying his elbows on the table in attempts to shift the Doctor’s anger away from Amy.

“Sort of.. It’s more that she telepathically sends.. things..” he scrunches up his face as if contemplating another thought.

“Is she sending you things now?” Amy asks.

“No, no. It’s Rose,” his face is still contorted.

“Rose is sending you things?” Amy wasn’t sure if she should laugh or be curious. Maybe both.

“It’s like she and the TARDIS are ganging up on me, having their own little inside jokes that they don’t let me hear unless they’re discussing me, in which case, they let me know they’re discussing me, and then they laugh, and that’s it,” he was whining as both the females in his head refused to send waves or reassurance to his scrutiny.

This time, Amy does laugh.

“So she’s in your head, then? Rose?” The Doctor nodded in reply to Rory, his face shifting to one of confusion. He knew if he didn’t ask an of his listed questions now, he might not be able to for a long time. “How’s the even possible?”

“I’m not entirely sure. But hopefully we’ll find out.”

“How?”

“I think it would be best if we waited for Rose.”

“So I take it that’s a ‘no’ to answering my question list,” Rory mumbled to himself. Little did he know that the Doctor heard and before it was too late to retaliate, the Doctor had taken Rory’s list away from him.


	15. The List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's learn about Rose, get really upset, and think of some more questions to ask her later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I own it's characters.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Rory cried out, lunging over the table, grabbing for the paper in the Doctor’s hand. “Give it back!”

At Rory’s persistence of shoving himself across the table, the Doctor extended his arm upwards, waving the paper in front of the door.

“Is he being rude again?” Rose asked, snatching the paper from the Doctor and quickly making her way to the other side of the galley before he could take it back.

“Oi!”

“Yeah, he’s definitely bein’ rude-“

“I am not!”

“You’re pouting-“

“You’re not even looking!”

Rose’s reply was a tap to her temple with her pointer finger. She was standing at a countertop, her back leaning against it for support as she read, her tongue touching her top lip in concentration.

“Rose-“

“Ah, ah, ah!” Rose pointed at the Doctor as he attempted to stand, forcing him to sit back down.

“We really didn’t mean to ask you all those,” Rory nervously tried to defend himself and Amy, who sat back quietly waiting to see Rose’s reaction. “They were just thoughts.”

“Hmm,” Rose pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes as she contemplated the list. 

The Doctor took this as an opportunity to get up and attempt to take the paper from her. Unfortunately for the Doctor, Rose was quicker than him, and folded the paper before shoving it into her bra.

_I’ll do it._

_No you won’t._

The Doctor started to lift one hand upwards towards Rose’s chest, keeping eye contact with her the whole time.

“DOCTOR!” At Amy’s accusing shout, the Doctor jumped back and Rose grinned.

“RIght, so, anyone up for a cuppa? And if you’re going to say no, don’t say it just because you feel bad. Honestly, it’ll help keep me at ease; doing something useful,” Rose offered.

“Can I help?” Amy asked.

“That’d be nice,” Rose offered a soft smile as Amy rose form her seat. “Now go on,” Rose placed one hand on the Doctor’s back, and the other on his bum, and pushed him back towards the table. “Sit.” Mumbling to himself, he complied.

“Still take it with milk and three and a half sugars, Doctor?” Rose asked as she and Amy set forth preparing the tea. Rose assumed the TARDIS would have changed things around since she’d been there, and was very grateful when she presented the objects of Rose’s desires in the cupboards she partially remembered using routinely for three years.

Three years. Was that really how long she had travelled with the Doctor? It’s not that those three years felt like nothing in comparison to the years she spent with James; they measured up considerably, but she had been with her husband much longer. And then..

Nope. No. You don’t have to talk about that yet, Rose. Just focus on tea. Yes. Right. Tea. Come on, woman. Snap out of it. The Doctor said something. What was it? What had you asked him? You had asked him something, didn’t you?

 _Yes you did. You asked if I still take my tea the same, and I said yes._ Rose could sense his worry and concern under the waves of reassurance he sent her. 

“I just wanted to say,” Amy turned to Rose as she started up a hushed conversation, wanting to keep it only between the two women. “I’m really sorry for the way I treated you. We didn’t really get off on the right foot, did we?” She laughed nervously and Rose gave her a reassuring smile.

“It’s alright.”

“Rory wants to apologize, too. But he’s a big boy, he can do it himself,” this time, both women laughed.

“Well, thank you. I know it’s not really the best circumstances to meet under- which I suppose is usually how the Doctor and I do it anyways, so-“

“If it helps; he crashed into my garden in the middle of the night when I was a child, ate all my food, and then the TARDIS was getting all weird and he said he’d be back in a few minutes-“

“And let me guess, it was a few years-“

“YEAH!” They were giggling like school girls and ignored the questioning looks from the the Doctor and Rory.

“After my first two trips with him, he went to bring me home to see my mum, right? And he thought he brought me back twelve hours later…” She didn’t turn her head, but she did peek over her shoulder at the Doctor who frowned in confusion. She smirked and turned back to Amy. “Twelve months. I was gone twelve months.”

“No!”

“Yeah! Walked into my mum’s old flat and there’s were ‘missing person’ flyers everywhere.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah, we never let him or James live it down,” her smile slipped slightly, but her happy demeanor held firm, if only by some force. “So, let me guess,” she opened a cupboard housing mugs, and with her tongue pressed against her top lip, she contemplated each shelf in turn.

“What?” 

“I want to see if I can guess who usually uses which mug,” Rose gave Amy a wink. “If I’m really to be here and even stay here, if you’d all like, I might as well start getting used to things.”

She started to reach towards one of the shelves, but stopped as Amy turned, leaning her hip against the counter, and facing her.

“We would like you to stay, you know. I mean, Rory and I are engaged- actually the Doctor took us away on the night before our wedding, but I’ll tell you that story another time, but anyway- we’ll be getting married eventually. Soon enough. And I mean, we’re already all coupley enough, and I know the Doctor gets lonely, especially when he sees us kissing and stuff-“

“He also just doesn’t like pretty boys.”

“But he is a pretty boy.”

Rose smirked and Amy’s eyebrows shot to her hairline. Right. Yeah. She might be even better for the Doctor than originally thought.

“So,” Amy continued, dragging out the word. “I don’t know how the two of you used to be, but I mean you married a sort of him for god’s sake! And I saw the way you two looked at each other and refused to look at each other and all that and just..” she sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Look, I don’t know what the Doctor was like when you met him, but now.. Well, now he runs around like either an energized puppy, or a puppy that’s been kicked around, OR a dog that was kicked around as a puppy and then got all nasty and growls and bites.. You know what I mean? Just.. He was throwing temper tantrums like a child, and you stopped him. I’d probably cry and make Rory do it if he got all crazy.”

Rose laughed.

“Point is.. I know he’d like you here. And I know Rory and I would, too. I know he was a bit of a git earlier, but it’s like you said, you can practically smell the testosterone-“

“Amy,” Rose cut her off with a laugh. Once she settled, she placed a hand on Amy’s arm. “I get it. Really, I do. And thank you. What I’m saying is that I don’t want to intrude or impose. _You_ are _his_ companions, you know? I don’t know how long you’ve been with the Doctor and I don’t want to force my way or get stuck into a specific role instead of telling you I feel bad. And I’ve been on my own for a very long time and that’s the life I’ve grown accustom to.”

Amy gave Rose a contemplative stare, “I think it’d be nice to have another woman on board. And certain travels would probably be a lot better not having to switch around the third wheel. And I could usually use the help to keep those two idiots in line.” She offered a soft smile that Rose returned along with a squeeze of her arm.

“Thank you,” she whispered before letting go of the young woman’s arm and picking up a black mug with gold flower engravings and a TARDIS blue mug with silver circular engravings, Rose knew to be Gallifreyan. “I hope I picked the right cups for you are Rory. I sort of cheated and asked the TARDIS how much milk and sugar you usually take it with.” 

“When’d you get all that done?” Amy picked up the to remaining cups, which happened to be their usual ones.

“When you were talking, you were sort of starring off towards space a lot, and I wanted to hear what you had to say. So respectively, I listened and worked. Is that alright?”

Amy looked at Rose who looked almost vulnerable, and smiled, “Yeah, of course it its! Thank you.”

Rose smiled in return and both women set the cups down on the table before taking their seats; Amy next to the Doctor and across from Rory, Rose next to Rory and across from the Doctor. For the Doctor and Rose, these were their usual seats, and they smiled softly in kind. Both men gave their thanks because sipping their tea.

After everyone gave their appreciative hums and thanks and thoughts of awe, Rose got back up and pulled two trays of biscuits out from a cupboard, and placed them on the table before taking her seat once more.

“Assuming you’ll eat a whole thing yourself,” she looked at the Doctor and nodded towards the tray in front of him.

“Oh, she’s good,” Rory told no one in particular. Rose smiled before drinking more tea, and raising her eyebrows as Amy laughed.

They spent the next few minutes drinking tea, eating, and making chit chat. Rose and the Doctor knew the time for real conversation and explaining and testing was nearing, and once the last mug was emptied, Rose reached into her bra and pulled out Amy and Rory’s list. She silently read it over, and everyone fell quiet as they watched her.

She tucked her short hair behind her ears. 

Short hair. She’d had short hair once when she travelled with the Doctor, but never as short as this. It was below her chin but above her shoulders. It suited her and the Doctor liked it.

_Thanks, I like it, too._

“The way I see it,” Rose started, still looking at the paper in her hands. “This can go one of two ways. One: I answer everything off this list and then you can all ask any remaining questions you have before we all go down to the medbay so the Doctor can run some tests. Two: I don’t know you, you don’t know me, so we could play the question game, going back and forth getting to know each other.” Her tone wasn’t clipped, but it sounded almost business-like.

_Torchwood agent, habit, defense mechanism. Take your pick._

“What would make you feel more comfortable?” Rory asked.

“Either or, really. I can definitely see the nurse in you, though.” Rose chose to see Rory’s smile as one of pride. “I think we should get the basics down first, so either way, I might as well start with the list.”

“You’re sure?” The Doctor asked warily and Rose caressed his mind in response.

_You know, we’re going to have to talk about this bond-not-bond thing we have, Rose Tyler._

_I know._

Rose took a deep breath before standing, gathering a pen from a nearby draw, and sitting back down, crossing things out as she spoke. She kept her gaze trained on the paper, avoided everyone’s eyes.

“Right. So first off, I’m going to try my best to answer as many of these as I can, but to do so, I’m going to have to try to block out my own emotions when I talk; try to tell my story as if I was reading it in a book or something. I do not want nor do I need another panic attack. So if I sound detached or something, know that I’m not. I’m very used to taking on a sort of professional voice, especially when explaining the basic natures of my.. conditions. Just because I don’t make eye contact or just because I seem like I’ve grown hard or built up a stone wall, it doesn’t mean I have. This is just the only way I’ll be able to get through this in one go. It’s my own sort of way to cope. So please, I have to ask that none of you- especially you, Doctor- interrupt or try to provide any sort of comfort. I can handle myself, and if not, I’ll step away. Is that understood?”

Rose brushed aside the Doctor’s waves of concern as the remaining persons at the table confirmed their agreements and waiting patiently for Rose to continue. She took another deep breathe before doing do. She kept her voice terse, narrow, and clipped. Much to the Doctor’s dislike, causing Rose to partially draw up her walls. The Doctor disliked that even more but attempted to tamp down his emotions for Rose’s sake. It was then that she began speaking.

“Age; I don’t know, and I don’t want to, but I am well over one hundred, and looking and _feeling_ just fine. My real eye color is as you see it, but before ‘Bad Wolf’- which I’ll explain later with the Doctor’s assistance- the slightly golden flecks were more the color of scotch. The Dream Lord mocked me about suits and ties because, well you don’t entirely know about regeneration until you actually see it, I guess, but before the Doctor looked and dressed like this, he looked different and wore a suit and tie. James kept the habit and the first suit the Dream Lord wore, was one of James’. 

James was named James because he had to be given an actual identity in the parallel world. On our first date, when I first met the Doctor.. We went to a chippy with ‘James’ in the title. That was two bodies ago. Then his last body, our first date was going to be a concert but we ended up in Scotland meeting Queen Victoria and the Doctor pretended to be a man named ‘James Mccrimmon’ and for our first date in the parallel world, we went to a chippy and Ian Dury and the Blockheads- which was supposed to be the concert we were going to see instead of meeting the Queen- one of their songs that was only written in the parallel world, not this one, started playing and well, yeah, it all just sort of played out. And then he needed a last name, so he took the last name of the human who touched his hand and had him.. created? Yeah.. So, James Noble. And then when we married, he wanted to keep his name but also take on mine, so he became James Noble-Tyler and I stayed as Rose Tyler. 

When I said that I’d lost the love of my life enough times now I meant that I lost the Doctor the first time I got stuck in the parallel world, and then the second I ended up there, I had James, but only for seventy-three years. Even though he was human, he still had the Time Lord brain so he was able to live fairly long and he aged incredibly well, all things considered. Not as well as me or the Doctor, but well enough. And speaking of- again, yes, I am over one hundred, yes James and I knew he would die, yes I’ve made my peace with it but I still love him and miss him every day. And earlier, Rory said he wanted a nice family in a nice village, and I said it could be worse because as scary and as sad as it can be traveling with the Doctor, at least you’re out there. You’re living a life with someone you care about and who cares about you. And it’s so wonderful and beautiful out there, and you’re making a difference nearly every day. I’ve had both lifestyles. Travel with the Doctor, and the married life with a family. And when I said it could be worse, I meant it because I’ve outlived my husband, our children, and our grandchildren, who I had to force myself to see less and less with once they all started to get too far along to care for themselves and I couldn’t do anything more to help them. And after they’d all spent their whole lives growing and looking older, I’ve always looked the same, and I couldn’t wave that in their faces.”

She paused for a few seconds, closing and opening her eyes as she tried to collect herself before continuing to make her way down the list.

“I can calm down the Doctor because I’m not afraid to chastise him when he’s being rude and because I know him more than well enough through my marriage with James. And James or Doctor, they’re their same man. They just know different versions of life and love and now, so do I. So I know him. I know how to take care of him. To help him. To love him. To be there for him. I may have gone years and years without either of them, while the Doctor’s only gone about five or so, but it all still comes second nature. Also, I’m inside his head, as he’s inside mine, so that helps because now I’ll probably usually know when he’s about to do or say something stupid- don’t give me that look. It’s hard enough to keep myself together in a business-like demeanor without you pulling a face and years and years of practice as paparazzi watched heiress and serious Torchwood employee have trained me to be able to keep a straight face but if you look at me like that, it’ll break. Also, Amy, Rory, I’ll explain the whole heiress and Torchwood thing later.

Let’s see, you’ve written ‘mind thing’ and ‘Bad Wolf’ and ‘powers’ but I think it’s best to talk about that all in the medbay later with the Doctor. What else.. Oh! Right! ‘Pain reliever.’ Forgot to mention, before Rory was turned to dust, and Amy was having a contraction, I put my hands on her temples and eased out some of the pain. It’s something I learned to do in the earlier years of Bad Wolf. Actually- no I’ll tell that next. But.. I can take someone’s physical and-slash-or mental pain, and either lessen it, or take some of it upon myself, in which Bad Wolf will stop it from harming me. Which is why…” 

Rose had taken many deep breaths in between paused in her story. But this one was different. Instead of being calculated and measured, it came out slow and shaky. She lifted her head even slower, and for the first time since before she started talking, made eye contact with the Doctor.

“He ran tests. To see if we were compatible enough to have children. We were, as I said- children, grandchildren, etc. He wasn’t sure if we could form a mental bond, but I could tell he wanted it. Amy, Rory, a mental bond is pretty much that ‘brain orgy’ as you called it we all did except this is between two telepathically strong minds that can never break. But even in death, it’s not broken, just.. sorta of asleep, but never to come back. But it means these two beings wouldn’t have to touch in order to communicate. They’d be able to talk, communicate, etc, through the bond in their minds. I had a bond with James, and since he was the Doctor, they had a very low connection, which in turn, linked to me. I wasn’t able to reach out to the Doctor in the parallel world, but with both of us as the Dream Lord, however it happened, it initiated that link. Or at least I think. But for how I’m even here, and how we could have both been the Dream Lord, I still don’t know. So I’ll leave that up to the Doctor later. But for right now.. I knew James wanted the bond. I knew the risks, I could have died if I wasn’t compatible. But I loved him and I told him to try. We started small, just little exercises of going into each other’s minds to see if I could stand it. I already had mental shielding from Torchwood training, and James helped make them stronger. We figured out fairly early that James embracing my mind kept me from screaming, so every night he’d put his fingers on my temple or put our foreheads together and he’d let his presence known in my mind while we slept. Although the screaming then was almost rare, happening only less than a few times a months. Even now, they don’t happen every day, only most. As to why they always happened in the dream, I have a fews ideas, but again,we’ll save that for later.

But anyway.. one night.. it was a very.. tough.. day out on the field. It was dangerous and while a good amount of my team had a few scrapes and bruises.. I almost died.. And while we were sleeping, our subconsciouses got the best of us, our walls slipped, and we got borderline to the point of nearly bonding, had we been awake and conscious of ourselves. When we woke up, it was a scary feeling but it also felt.. Nice. So we talked it out and decided to attempt the bond and it worked. But then it unleashed Bad Wolf, who was able to strengthen my mental abilities, entirely secure my walls, and so much more.. Including the living longer. It terrified James and he ran tests for days before I finally forced my way back on the field.”

As she continued to talk, she dropped her gaze back down to the paper in her lap, but wasn’t reading it.

“We didn’t know about the living longer, we just thought it was the mental stuff.. and I was able to physically heal faster.. But then one day, I got shot through the stomach. I should have died- I practically was dead- but nope. Still alive.. James ran more tests for the longest time.. I don’t even remember how bloody long it took, but eventually he came to the conclusion that my lifespan is bonded to that of the TARDIS, in parallel to your specific timeline, however way it matched up with ours. I could’ve died the next day, or the next millennia. We had no way of knowing and he blamed himself for the longest time. Until.. Until my first childbirth. I was losing so much blood that we both thought we might have accidentally found a loophole. _Found.. God, I make it sound so.._ … And since Bad Wolf took the pain away, it was hard to tell what was wrong or right, working or not, so James had to go into my mind and make sure, but Bad Wolf tried to hold him back, which only frustrated him more. Eventually, I lost so much blood to the point where I officially should have been dead. I was slipping in and out of consciousness, and Bad Wolf let James help. She kept me alive while he kept our baby alive and made the delivery safe..”

The room was met with silence for a solid minute or so.

“He stopped blaming himself after that. He didn’t tell me what happened with him and Bad Wolf, but whatever it was, I’m sure it convinced him everything would be okay, because we had more children, and with each new pregnancy, he became happier than the last. Not that he loved any one child more than the rest. He loved then all, loved us all. So do I.

But I don’t think he fully accepted Bad Wolf, and sometimes I don’t know if I do, either. Be he trusted her. So I trust her. I trust me. He trusted me.”

Silence overcame the galley once more, but this time for only a few seconds.

“I miss him.”

She drew in a loud, deep breath through her nose as she looked back down at the paper.

“Blimey, you two had quite a list.”


	16. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a lighter note, let's learn a little about Rose and James' children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or its characters. All mistakes are my own.

The four companions sat in silence, no one making eye contact. Rose had her eyes closed as she tried to collect herself. She didn’t feel any tears coming on, and for that she was very grateful. In the back of her mind, she could feel the Doctor’s want to comfort her and his unsureness if she’d let him. Taking a minute to consider letting him into her mind, she opened her eyes, but kept her age focused on her lap as she let the Doctor in and immediately felt his relief at her invitation, quickly followed by a great deal of comfort.

As the silence drew on, the Doctor continued to comfort Rose while Amy and Rory tried to process the new information given to them by their new friend. Not wanting to upset her any farther, they weighed their choices. They could either keep quiet until Rose or the Doctor say something, though by the way the Doctor was looking at Rose, they figured they might already be speaking. On the other hand, the silence is growing almost unbearable, and maybe asking a few innocent questions could go a long way. Hopefully.

“What- what were the names of your children?” Amy is quiet. She’s loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough that everyone could pretend they didn’t hear it.

Slowly, Rose lifts her head to look at Amy as, at an even slower pace, a soft smile begins to grace her lips.

“Eve, Jack, Donna, Siena, John, Perry, and Lucy.”

Rose laughs slightly as Amy’s eyes nearly bug out of her head.

“If it helps, Jack and Donna were twins. Now they- they were a handful.”

“Se- You had _seven_?” The Doctor manages to choke out.

“Sounds like you’re a very enthusiastic old man,” Rory says to the Doctor who begins to sputter, opening and closing his mouth and only managing small sounds and few vowels.

As Rose begins to laugh, Rory prides himself on not saying something stupid or upsetting. Also, he’s practically left the Doctor speechless. Amy, on the other hands, waits a few seconds, watching the older woman laugh and eventually joins in. 

“That- that- I don’t see how funny that is,” the Doctor pouts.

“I don’t know. It’s pretty funny,” Rory manages to quickly respond before he slips into a fit of laughter, himself.

Looking around unbelievably around the table, the Doctor shakes his head, takes a deep breath, and can’t help but laugh a little himself.

The laughter dragged on for a few moments longer before the group sighed and settled down. They sat in silence once more, but the earlier tension was now gone and Rose still had a small but soft smile on her face.

“Will you tell us about them?” Now only did the question surprise Rose, but it surprised the Doctor himself that he had even been considering it.

“You’re sure?” She can’t help but ask quietly.

Nodding slightly, the Doctor smiles softly.

Rose nods in respond, but mostly to herself as she gathers her thoughts. She speaks after a few moments. She tells them that Eve was named because they decided to try for a baby on Christmas Eve but didn’t get pregnant until Christmas Eve the next year. Rose tears up a little, remembering how excited and filled with love James was when they found out. She was their Christmas miracle and they both cried happily, holding one another for hours because gently making love. Rose does not mention that last part to the Doctor, Amy, or Rory. 

Then she tells them about the twins and how they came to naming them Donna and Jack. Even though James had taken Donna’s last name, he still felt that, being part of her, he owed her a great respect (especially since he knew would the Doctor would have had to do to her) and one night told Rose that he wanted to name the girl Donna and quickly rushed in that should could name the boy Jack if it would make her happy. Rose remembers telling James that he didn’t need to offer Jack as the boy’s name, that she would have easily agreed to letting him name their girl Donna. Feeling proud, happiness, and love in Rose supporting him, he said that he would like very much if the boy was named Jack, especially since he could tell that it would have made Rose happy. She readily agreed. She said those two were practically partners in crime. Jack was a few minutes older than Donna, and even though they had Eve as their big sister, Jack took on the protective big brother role respectively, even towards Eve. And Donna took on the role of big sister, but always respecting Eve’s big sisterhood over her own. Also, Donna’s hair took more to the gingerish highlights in James’ hair, making her look ginger in certain lighting. When she was younger, James would play with her hair almost as much as Rose would play with his. But still, he loved each child equally. He just envied Donna’s hair the most.

Siena looked just like Rose and as she grew older, it made James’ single heart swell how much like her mother she grew to be. The jeopardy friendly behavior with great determination and respective stubbornness. She was definitely her mother’s daughter.

John looked just like James. Respectively, they named him after the Doctor, using his other alias. While all their children were very gifted and smart, John just happened to be the brightest of them all. He was also the craziest of them all, and yet one of the calmest. He was definitely his father’s son.

Perry was their most calmest child, but enjoyed spending a great deal of time with Jackie. While James loved him so much, he was never able to understand how the most easy going of his children could leave Jackie Tyler often speechless in the nicest of ways (as in, not the way James did, which was usually due to his annoyance, which Rose would smack him in the chest for often, though he didn’t mind, because she’d always kiss it better afterwards- not that Rose mentioned that last bit to the Doctor, Amy, or Rory). 

Last, but certainly not least, was little Lucy. She had the darkest hair out of all their children, almost looking black. When she was younger, she would have her older siblings (even Jack- especially Jack) and/or her parents put her hair in cute little braids or pig tails a little less than often. As she grew older, she left her hair down more and let it grow rather long. She would usually alternate between letting it grow into long curls down to the middle of her back, or cutting it to the same length Rose had now, and letting it wave, just like her mother.

“They sound so beautiful,” the Doctor softly said in awe.

Rose smiled sweetly, “They really were.”

“Thank you,” Amy said. “For telling us.”

“Thank you for asking.”

The four sat in companionable silence for a minute or so before Amy’s stomach started grumbling.

“Maybe we could eat?” She asked.

“Yes, yes eating would be good. I’m quite starved myself,” the Doctor replied.

“You’re always starved,” Rory countered.

Rose laughed and Rory asked if she’d help him cook. She accepted gratefully and they discussed possible meals for a few moments before coming to an agreement.

“Say, Doctor?”

“Yes, Rose?”

“After this.. I’m guessing we should go to the medbay?”

“That would be preferred, yes.”

“And then we can go to the ballroom?”

“Only if you tell me why the TARDIS wants me in there.”

Turning from washing her hands at the sink, she smiled her tongue touched smile at the Doctor, “Not a chance.”

“Ballroom? What ballroom? You mean like an actual ballroom where you dance or like one of those ball rooms were there’s bouncy balls everywhere?” Amy asked.

“Or is it one of those ball pits?” Rory suggested.

“None of those,” Rose grinned and raised an eyebrow challengingly at the Doctor.

Exasperating a sigh, the Doctor slowly rolled his eyes before giving in, “Fiiine, Rose Tyler. Alright. We can go to the blasted ballroom.”

“Cheek,” the pointed a spatula at him.

“And don’t you forget,” he responded with a cross of his legs and folding of his arms. But then Rose smiled and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Ooh, are we having grilled cheese?” Amy asked.

“And tomato soup,” Rory replied happily. “I’ll do the soup, you do the grilled cheese?” He asked Rose.

“Oh, definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't look at your computer screen like that, James was a VERY enthusiastic old man and after already having lost his family once, he wanted to create another. A big one to truly love and appreciate. And I mean come on, Donna and Jack as rambunctious little twins and partners in crime? How could I pass up that idea. I just couldn't.


	17. A Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get some answers. And let's make them vague and wibbly wobbily timey wimey and mush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or its characters. All mistakes are my own.

“Thanks,” Rory says to Rose. “For helping, that is. And I’m really sorry for the way I’ve acted. I’m usually very nice. Not that I’m trying to vouch for myself, but I wasn’t really in the right mindset and usually I’m the more calmer of us three and yeah.”

Rose giggled and smiled and tongue touched smile at Rory, “You’re rambling a bit.”

“Yeah, right, sorry. Sort of grows on you, the habit, when you’re around him so much,” smiling cheekily, Rory stirs at the soup and says, “Though I’m sure you already know that.”

They both laugh quietly before Rose hums knowingly, and nods, “Oh, trust me, I know.”

Smiling, they continue tending to their tasks in an almost companionable quiet.

“And I appreciate you apologizing. Thank you,” Rose says softly and she gives Rory a gentle smile, one he returns eagerly. Then Rose’s expression turns serious. “So what do you think? The first grilled cheese is done.. Do you say we give it to Amy or _not_ the Doctor?”

Rory’s face goes serious as he shakes his head and responds, “Oh, definitely not the Doctor.”

Rose gives him another tongue touched smile before flipping the sandwich onto a plate and cutting it in half. She turns and walks to the Doctor’s side. Slowly bending down, the puts the grilled cheese in front of him and leans in close to his ear. He turns to look at her as she whispers to him.

“This isn’t for you.”

Furrowing his brows, the Doctor watches and Rose straightens herself and walks back towards Rory. Looking down at the table in front of him, he sees that it’s empty. He’d failed to notice that Rose had slid it across the table and in front of Amy. As he turns to her, pout on his face, she hums and says around a mouthful of food, “I like her, we’re keeping her.”

Furrowing his brows more, he tries to reach for the second half of Amy’s sandwich, but she’s faster and blocks his hand.

“See if _I_ keep _you_ around, Amelia Pond, if you don’t learn to share,” he uses the index finger of one hand to wave distractedly in her face as he uses his other hand to steal the half sandwich still untouched on the plate, this time successes and quickly shoving a bite into his mouth.

“Hey!” Amy whines and smacks the Doctor’s arm. He simply smiles back at her.

“Do you think we can keep you and chuck him?” Rory asks Rose loud enough for the Doctor to hear.

Rose laughs and the Doctor takes another big bite of his stole meal in what he thinks is an intimidating manner.

 

________________________________

 

They all spent the next hour or so eating and chatting, making light conversation and allowing Rose, Amy, and Rory the chance to get to know each other. But eventually, as all things do, their meal ended, clean up was done, and it was time to go to the medbay.

________________________________

 

The Doctor ran tests and scans and blood samplings and comparisons for just over two hours, Amy and Rory refusing to leave, in support and comfort of their new friend. Rose was gratefully, and even though the Doctor wouldn’t admit it out loud, he was, too. At one point, the Doctor puts away all that he’s taken out and crossing his arms and ankles, lean against a table.

“All set?” Rose asks, knowing he’s not.

He raises his eyebrows at her but otherwise keeps his face neutral.

“Go on, then. But she won’t let you in.”

“We’ll see,” the Doctor simply replies and slowly makes his way to stand in front of Rose, placing himself between her legs. “Amy, Rory, I’m just going to look in Rose’s head. If anything goes wrong, we should both be able to back away. If not, if something seems off, try to coax us out of it. Rory, as a nurse, I’m trust you to be able to take care of Rose if anything, and I mean, _anything_ , were to happen.”

“Understood,” Rory nods.

Placing his hands on her cheeks, the Doctor waits for Rose to nod her consent before he presses their foreheads together and slides his fingers up to her temples and tries to go into her mind. At first, he’s able to settle under the surface, moving around the base of her conscious, and waits a while, giving her time to adjust to the intrusion. He feels a mental nod of encouragement and he slowly makes his way to the core of her mind, only to be halted by a pulsing wave of defense. Stilling for a moment, the Doctor takes a deep breath through his nose to collect himself, and gently presses forward, and gets eased back by wave after wave of protection from what he is now recognizing as the feel of the Bad Wolf. He lets himself wade in the feel of the uneasiness, trying to caress both Rose and the Wolf and send them comfort. The Wolf doesn’t back down but she doesn’t protest, either, so the Doctor attempts to go forward once more until the waves get rougher and the Doctor feels like he’s being pushed back to shore. He tries not to go with the current and soon finds himself buried under a forcefully pushed wave of possession.

This wave doesn’t feel like the Wolf. He assumes Bad Wolf would be very possessive of Rose, but not this way. No, this is the sort of possessiveness only he ever held over Rose. 

Well. 

Him and James. 

And that’s when he finally retreats, moving quickly away from the Wolf’s den, vacating Rose’s center. Once back in the base of Rose’s mind, he debates leaving and speaking to her verbally, in front of Amy and Rory, or staying and talking in here. He goes for the latter.

Rose tells him that she told him that Bad Wolf won’t let him in.

He tells her he knows. He tells her that apparently he won’t let himself in, either.

Rose knows what he means, of course she does. She tells him he was always jealous of himself. She’s talking about both him towards James and James towards him and he doesn’t doesn’t deny it.

He can’t be sure what happened between James and Bad Wolf during Rose’s first labor, but if nearly having just been smothered by James is anything to go by, he can only imagine. But if the Bad Wolf is willing to let what’s let of James’ forever sleeping conscious protect Rose, then she must be safe enough.

Maybe one day the Wolf will let him protect her, too.

 

________________________________

 

Eventually he leaves her mind.

“Find everything you need?” Rose asks.

“I think so, yes.”

“Then do you mind explaining some things?” Amy asks quietly, so not to spook them.

The Doctor moves to lean against the table beside Rose and ask what’s first.

They want to know how long she’ll live, but at Rose’s request, _not_ how long she already has lived. He tells them that he doesn’t know, but if James was correct in assuming that her lifespan is linked to that of the TARDIS, which is linked to that of his, then she will literally live as long as him. 

Amy sees it as a sort of tragic love story.

They let her.

They want to know how Rose and the Doctor were both the Dream Lord. The Doctor briefly mentions James’s conscious protecting Rose’s. Her own walls don’t have a single crack, but his did. James’ conscious came from that crack; he created it by being created. James and the Doctor were connected, and since Rose was connected to James, it connected her to the Doctor. And since Bad Wolf is connected to the TARDIS, which is connected to James and the Doctor, he thinks she may have played a roll in this, too. But the Dream Lord fed off the Doctor’s conscious and darkness, and found itself a feast, having stumbled upon James, making its way to Rose. Big, difficult to explain, sciencey process.

“That means he either doesn’t know what it is, or how to fully explain it,” Rose supplies.

They want to know how Rose got here. That makes the Doctor grin like the cat who got the cream.

“Amy, what was our first adventure?” He prompts.

Amy purses her lips and knits her eyebrows, asking what the alien in her house has to do with Rose being here.

“In your bedroom, what did I find?”

Amy blinks and stares critically at the man before her, “A crack in my wall.”

“You had a crack in your wall?” Rose asks, narrowing her eyes.

“That’s right!” The Doctor claps and the three remaining persons in the room stare at him. “Come on, we said this at the beginning. Rose trapped in a parallel universe, without even a rip or tear through time or space.. Not even a crack? And what’s the one thing separating me from James? A crack. A crack Rose can feel and then-“

“What did the crack look like?” Rose asks Amy. “Did it look like this?” Taking a pen and paper from one of the Doctor’s pockets, she draws a crack, looking exactly like the one of Amy’s wall.

“Yeah!” Amy exclaims. “But how-“

“There was a crack in my room in my flat. This exact crack,” Rose explains, if not a little skeptically.

________________________________

 

“So you’re telling me that those dream flecks got into your subconscious, found the crack connected to James, latched on, found Rose, and then pulled her through the crack in her wall, that’s just like the crack in Amy’s wall, because that crack isn’t _just_ a crack in time in space, it’s the crack created _by and to_ create James?” Rory says slowly, trying to piece together the Doctor’s explanation for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Basically, yes.”

“Well.”

“Yeah.”

“My head hurts,” Amy complains.

“Yeah.” 

________________________________

 

“This.. It’s been a _day_ ,” Rose sighs in exhaustion.

________________________________

 

“That’s it! I’m not sitting around doing any more bloody exercises or tests or listening to the same explanation over and over again in a billion different ways. We’re going to the ballroom!” Rose exclaims, pushing herself up from her seat and walking out the medbay door and out into the corridor.

“Finally!” The Doctor claps his hands with a manic grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We aren't done because we still have a ballroom to investigate, some choices to make, more things to explain, and a story to wrap up.


End file.
